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Pregnant after a miscarriage, as the bumps get bigger we get braver, 1st,2nd or 3rd trimester, reasurance and hand holding aplenty!

(987 Posts)
StateofConfusion Wed 22-Aug-12 22:27:11

Before the first thread fills and locks a 2nd thread for us getting braver!

Secondsop Sat 25-Aug-12 12:23:41

Hello everyone, can I join? I'm 24 weeks after a miscarriage at 9+5 weeks in October. Everything seems ok this time although my Downs risk is 1:130 after a missing nasal bone at the nuchal scan, but I am counting the weeks now till I finally hold my baby boy.

Hopeforever Sun 26-Aug-12 15:37:02

Hello secondsop. Congratulations getting to 24 weeks.

I'm recovering from 3 days of migraine, wondering why I'm putting myself and the kids through this. Trouble is i always feel blue for a few days after a migraine.

WLmum Sun 26-Aug-12 21:31:28

You're putting yourself (and others) through this because you're a lovely mummy who loves her kids so much she just can't enough! Try to be kind to yourself for a day or 2, some chillout time with some essential oils might just help, or a decadent coffee and cake, alone with the newspaper always helps me!

backwardpossom Mon 27-Aug-12 09:34:29

Hope Sorry about the migraine, must be horrid sad

<whispers> I'm 12 weeks today. 7 days until my scan...

StateofConfusion Mon 27-Aug-12 12:34:38

Ooh milestone backward smile

sundaesundae Mon 27-Aug-12 12:50:54

12 weeks today also, scan is 8.30AM on wednesday, I am not even a tony bit excited, just disgustingly terrified.

Threw up this morning, second time this pregnancy, weird. Been very nauseous but only sick in the last week.

I cried my boobs were so sore last night.

Have had lots of stretchy feelings and now can feel my fundus I think, well now have a firm lump in the right place that wasn't there before..

I can't stop googling chances of MMC. My MC was a 5 weeker and that was hard but bearable, soo terrified of MMC. I have almost convinced myself that that is what will have happened.

bonzo77 Mon 27-Aug-12 16:53:20

sundae I know how you feel. I felt exactly the same about my 12 weeks scan. I spent the day before crying, couldn't sleep the day before and went into the room expecting the worst. Seeing that baby was the emotional thing since the mmc. Probably more emotional even than the birth of DS!blush. A mmc is doubly cruel. Not only have you failed to continue with the pregnancy but your stupid body doesn't even know or get rid properly.

I've only just started to calm down at 21 weeks. I ended up with an extra scan at 18 weeks because I'd stressed myself out so much. Feeling strong and constant movement is very reassuring. you will feel better.

WLmum Mon 27-Aug-12 18:38:11

Yay milestones and sympathy with the fear of upcoming scans. I had scans at 9 and 12 weeks, both times got v stressed that news would be bad, particularly before the 9 week when I cried before, during and after, and sonographer had to make me look at the screen. Like bonzo I'm really just calming down and believing in it now at nearly 24 weeks. Feeling the regular strong movements and getting to know a pattern really helps alot. I was worried that I didn't feel movements so early this time but 20 week scan showed huge placenta between baby and me which explained it. I guess they've shifted about now because I do get good movements now. I'm afraid it's just a case if one day at a time, try to distract yourself if at all possible and don't beat yourself up about worrying. It just shows how much you care. Best of luck. X

StateofConfusion Mon 27-Aug-12 22:20:59

sundae I felt exactly the same before my scans, I had a mmc last time, nearly 14wks, when I found out, I googled the chances etc obsessively this time. Was such a mess at the scan the sonographer told me could I please breath twice.

I had a scan at 10, 13, 20+6 and one last week, only the one last week did I go into excited. Babys wriggling lots now and that helps. I won't lie and say its easy, I had a family wedding saturday and was so worked up and stressed (and had also removed my kick counter as I was dressed up) I didn't (think) I felt the baby move until 3pm, dp was providing ice water until the little bugger kicked I felt my world had stopped, I couldn't talk eat or breath properly, then the music started at the reception and boy did I know the little monkey was there!

I was brave this weekend, I spent time with our new nephew, he was due a few weeks after I should have been. First visit was hard, agonising even, especially seeing dp hold him. The distraction of being at the wedding reception made it easier and by sunday I couldn't put him down, scrumptious 6wk old baby boy! I kept saying to dp, he's so small, babies are so small!!! Dd is almost four and I'd forgotten how tiny they are, he was 9lb 13oz when he was born aswell so not tiny! But he seemed it.

Anyway I'm off, I need more ice grin

Cadmum Tue 28-Aug-12 03:47:46

Bonzo I could have written your post about scan fear and body failure. MMC are a terrible way to make you lose faith in your own body, aren't they? I will never look forward to a scan regardless of how far along I am.

I had a moment yesterday where I nearly fell apart in the grocery store. The smells were making me sick, dd2 kept asking for crisps, sweets and unhealthy options while dh (who was only trying to be kind) was trying to pressure me to choose something I could bear the thought of eating for tea. I burst into tears when it dawned on me that I will feel progressively worse for the next 4-5 weeks only to find out at a scan later down the road that we are expecting a medical emergency rather than a baby.

I started to wonder how I could ever have done this to my family --AGAIN. I must be insane. My dcs will have a sick and exhausted mum for the next month and then they will watch me worry myself inside-out until the inevitable outcome. Sorry for the self pity...

gemdrop84 Tue 28-Aug-12 10:47:39

Hi to all, best wishes for any upcoming scans! I completely understand the fear of them. When we went for our dating scan this time round I was just expecting the worst. I was so detatched from the pg as a whole and felt pretty shit on the run up to that day. As soon as the sonographer turned the screen round for us to see I burst into tears and I swear I felt my heart stop, our baby was wriggling around so much, wouldnt stay still at first then decided to be so awkward, I had to go walk round to see if that moved the baby so they could measure it properly. It truly was wonderful and I was secretly thanking our baby for being awkward so we could see him/her that bit longer grin I will be 20 wks on thurs and still can't quite believe. After so much heartache and feeling like my body has completely let me down, it's actually happening. I'm feel a lot calmer but I now have new worries like giving birth again grin and how dd will be with the baby. The only way I've been able to get through it is to take each day as it comes, cry when I need to and talk my worries through with dp.

gemdrop84 Tue 28-Aug-12 10:51:10

I seem to be getting a lot more strong kicks now although yesterday didn't seem to have as many, but I was out and about so may not have noticed them. When do we start monitoring the baby's movements and what are these kick counters I'm hearing about?

JessieEssex Tue 28-Aug-12 11:07:57

Hi all

First time poster here - I am current 8+6 (DC2) having discovered a mmc at 9+4 at the beginning of May. I am getting myself more and more worked up at the thought of it happening again. I really empathise with so many things that you are all talking about.

The foetus measured 9+2 so it was 'luck' that we discovered the mc at an early scan - indeed, I may have miscarried naturally within days, but had an ERPC.

I can only think about getting past Friday (9+2) and then I hope that I can relax and start to enjoy being pg. At the moment, I'm feeling very very sick, I think more so than last time - I'm trying to find a bit of comfort in that (when I'm not scarfing down ritz crackers!)

I might book a private early scan for next week but the thought of going into the scanning room and lying on the same table as last time terrifies me.

Thanks for reading!

StateofConfusion Tue 28-Aug-12 12:20:42

gem they're just a rubber wrist band with a slider on it, numbers 1-10/12 and you move it for each movement. For me it works as I forget and panic. I'm 23+3 and still have quieter days then days I feel like my stomach will pop open. Iirc we need to follow the babys movements pattern from 24wks.

StateofConfusion Tue 28-Aug-12 12:34:22

Welcome jessie as you've read we have all been there and nothing helps soothe the fear except time, and even then it never goes completely. I waited until 10wks for a scan as I wanted a definate answer as to viable or not. Best of luck and as you can see, many of us went on to sucessful pregnancys.

hzgreen Tue 28-Aug-12 17:08:09

Hello all, another newbie here. i had an mmc in 2010 and opted for the natural mc. i thik something went "wrong" because i was in agony for 3 days and ended up in hospital on morphine and gas and air. i think the A+E staff thought i just had a low pain threshold though because they weren't very sympathetic, if fact one nurse felt it prudent to remind me that i was disturbing other patients with my crying...

Anyway i had another MMC last year and of course went straight for the op this time. after much fighting i managed to get an appointment at the Miscarriage clinic and have been diagnosed with sticky blood. i'm on clexane and aspirin which seems to be working becasue i'm 31+4 weeks today!

The first weeks/months were hell, i was so ill and anxious. terrified that i was going to lose another baby. it certtainly hasn't been straight forward but i'm finally starting to feel like this baby might just happen (squeezes eyes shut and whispers that last bit).

Blimey i didn't mean to go on so much, i just wanted to say "Hi".

hzgreen Tue 28-Aug-12 17:12:13

PS Jess, i know what you mean - when i went for the first scan with this baby i cried as soon as i walked into the room because i was mostly used to bad news, it does get easier. but as State says it takes time, which is really hard and frustrating.

StateofConfusion Tue 28-Aug-12 21:34:24

Welcome hz you're on the home straight now then! How exciting! So sorry for your losses, it really changes how you feel about pregnancy doesn't it! When I'm not worrying I enjoy every second and can't get enough of the movements, hospital appointments and touching my bump smile

Have you any other dc or is this your first? X

WLmum Tue 28-Aug-12 22:25:17

I'm always shocked by the attitudes if some so called healthcare professionals. It is enough to make you horribly jaded, but luckily there are some excellent ones out there too.

Hooray for 31+4, that's great news.

Hopeforever Tue 28-Aug-12 22:49:13

Thank you for kind words, welcome newbies.

Migraine has passed, the flat feeling I get afterwards is reducing. Interesting what you say about scan fear. I've been told to phone EPU as soon as I find I'm pregnant but keep putting it off. Tell myself it's because I'm only 5.5 but it's more that if I have not had a scan I can pretend its still all ok.

Bought a twin pack of superdrug tests today, partly to show myself it's ok, partly because I used a digital first response and the word pregnant disappears after a day or 2. Wouldn't usually buy such an expensive test but it was all the small after hours shop had smile

hzgreen Wed 29-Aug-12 08:28:21

Thanks state and WLmum, i do have a DS already, he is doubly precious because at 36 weeks i went for a routine scan and it showed he had stopped growing and i had to have a c-section that day!i think from that point on the pregnancy experience really changed for me, but no one had (or offered) an explanaition so when i got pregnant again there seemed no reason that things would go wrong, but as it turns out my DS's reduced growth and the MC's are linked to this sticky blood thing and if it wasn't for the report on his placenta i would have probably had to go through another MC to get it diagnosed.

a bit anxious this morning because the baby hasn't moved much but she doesn't when i have a long day at work (or rather i don't notice so much) so will try to keep a lid on my anxiety.

StateofConfusion Wed 29-Aug-12 12:01:52

hz my ds stopped growing and was delivered by csection at 37 wks! He's 5 now! I also have a 3.9yo dd.

I'm exactly the same with movements, and I've found with this little monkey the more I worry and try and make it move the less likely it will co-operate! Stressful this pregnancy lark!

lurcherlover Wed 29-Aug-12 14:22:35

Hi girls, I'm going to be brave and join the thread (I recognise lots of people from the mosh pit!) after my early scan yesterday showed a heartbeat. I'm 6+3 and had a mmc in May (found out at the dating scan, but baby had died at 9 weeks) so I'm going to be terrified throughout the first trimester...I'm not entitled to any more NHS reassurance scans now so I'm currently looking into booking a private one for about 10 weeks, as I can't wait until my dating scan to see if all is well or not.

Hopeforever Wed 29-Aug-12 14:56:22

Congratulations lurcherlover, that's great news that they found a heart beat at 6 weeks. Understand you'd like another one soon though

shirley123 Wed 29-Aug-12 15:52:54

Hi, first post after a long time off here, been busy with my first 2 girls and just getting back to health after ME for the last 2 years, have been in recovery for the last 6-8 months which is fab and was hoping to wait at least another 6 months before thinking of any more babies, but obviously something higher up had different ideas as after dodgy contraception I find myself pregnant !! I had 2 mc's between baby 1 and 2 both at about 5-6 weeks and am not only embarrassed to tell anyone that I'm pregnant ( because I'll be 39 when no 3 would be born and also because of only just being well after ME) to top it off am dead nervous to even admit to myself that I want this baby because of previous mc's, any advice on how to stay detached? Or any other thoughts?

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