Some background: I'm a first time mom to be. We were ttc for five years before our fifth round of infertility treatment was successful (a previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage after IVF). This baby is much anticipated by us all!
I am 41 + 1 and due to be induced on Wednesday. I can't see anything happening sooner. I've had two sweeps and have another booked on Monday. I know I'll be induced as I know my body and baby is just too high up and shows no sign of playing ball! I'm a bit down about this as plans for an active water birth are in jeopardy therefore.
I need advice about afterwards. My family are all on tenterhooks. I've tried to dial down the craziness and am dealing fairly well with the texts and calls. DH and I discussed visitors after the birth. I don't want anyone at the hospital apart from him. Hopefully, I'll be in for a night only. If I have to have a C section, I will obviously be in for longer and will have visits from all sets of parents (three sets as his are both divorced and remarried). Visiting is very restricted to one hour slots twice a day so not too daunting.
When we come home, we've said that we'd like a day or two to recover, bond and for me to feel like 'myself' before we have longer visits from anyone. My side are all fine with this. However MIL has now started to say she's coming down (lives two hours ish away) straight away - as soon as I've given birth. She and step FIL are staying with a relative after we said staying at ours wasn't an option.
Spoke to DH about this today and said there was no need for her to rush down as soon as the announcement was made. DH has now become quite defensive and gone against what we'd planned and said saying his mom would like to come to the hospital "even if only for five minutes" and that he'd take the baby outside to see her?! I want time to bond, recover, establish BF and so on. Plus, we'd agreed to visitors the day or two days after we came home. Coming to the hospital has never been an option if I don't have a C section. Obviously, her visit wouldn't be for five minutes as that would be unrealistic and she'd have step FIL with her who is a knob.
I've tried to talk to him but he cuts me off saying, "I know what you're going to say". We're at stalemate. How do I balance my needs, our needs and the needs of our families? Please let me know if you've handled this successfully!
Sorry about the essay but didn't want to dripfeed.
Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.
Pregnancy
Visitors after the birth - any advice?
margarethamilton · 11/08/2012 16:38
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.