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PREPARING FOR DISAPPOINTMENT!@#$%^&*

(31 Posts)
COLETTE1210 Fri 12-Dec-03 15:38:08

I HAVE EXPERIENCED 3 MISCARRIAGES AND A FETUS WITH NO HEARTBEAT WHEN I WAS 3/12 MONTHS PREGNANT. LAST NIGHT I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST AND IT CAME UP POSITIVE. I WAS EXCITED, NERVOUS, HAPPY, SCARED THEN PETRIFIED ALL AT ONCE. I CAN’T GET MY HOPES UP AND I CAN NOT GET EXCITED JUST YET. MY PAST PUT A DAMPER ON WHICH SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS. MY HUSBAND ALREADY IS PREPARING HIMSELF FOR DISAPPOINTMENT WHICH DOESN’T HELP ME TO STOP THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS THAT RACE AROUND MY HEAD. I DON’T THINK I COULD HANDLE ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT. THE LAST COUPLE OF PREGNANCIES WEREN’T ENJOYABLE ONES. EVERY DAY I WOULD WAKE UP PARANOID THAT SOMETHING BAD WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE CHILD I WAS BARING. IT IS NOT HEALTHY FOR ME OR MY BABY TO PUT SUCH A STRAIN ON MY BODY AND MIND.
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY POSITIVE ADVICE? HAS ANYONE GONE THROUGH THIS SAGA?

Twinkie Fri 12-Dec-03 15:39:58

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fio2 Fri 12-Dec-03 15:52:12

collette congratulations, but I can understand your worry. There are a few who post on the miscarriage thread who know what its like. Alot have had babies now or a successfully pregnant. Sorry you are having such a worrying time

dot1 Fri 12-Dec-03 16:02:13

all fingers crossed for you Collette - sorry I can't help with advice - just good luck over the coming weeks and maybe you could hassle your GP for an early - 8 week - scan?

hana Fri 12-Dec-03 16:25:25

awww collette, I can just imagine how you are feeling......I've had 2 m/c and an unhealthy pregnancy resulting in a loss....and know that the next time I am pregnant I'll feel the same way. Please do read some of the old threads on m/c, there is also a very supportive thread mums to be who have m/c before ( cant remember what it's called) but there are lots of others here who have been in a similar position.
another hug for you, at what should be such a happy joyful time you've got such anxious feelings instead. It's not fair is it? Best of luck this time around and fingers and toes crossed too
love hana

COLETTE1210 Fri 12-Dec-03 16:26:47

THANKS TWINKIE FOR YOUR HUGS. I APPRECIATE IT WITH ALL MY HEART.

FIO2 - I WENT ON TO THE MISCARRIAGE THREAD AND I HAD TO CLOSE IT OUT. TO MANY HORROR STORIES WHICH I EXPERIENCED ALL TO WELL ALREADY. BUT THANKS ANYWAY. I DO APPRECIATE IT.

DOT1 - I WILL NEED FINGERS AND TOES CROSSED.
AFTER THE BASIC BLOOD WORK TO MAKE SURE MY LEVELS ARE WERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE I WILL BE SWITCHING TO A HIGH RISK DOCTOR. I WILL BE GETTING TESTS DONE ALLOT EARLIER THEN WHEN THEY WOULD USUALLY SCHEDULE FOR WHICH IS ALWAYS MIND EASING.

quackers Fri 12-Dec-03 16:48:27

Hiya, sorry to hear about what has happened to you. It's a very difficult stage isn't it early on. I have had 2 m/c's and 2 threatened m/c's and have a DD. I am 7.5 weeks now and had a scan 3 days ago and found a heartbeat. Why don't you come over to the mum's moving on after m/c thread within this pgcy area. It's very positive and supportive and might just help get over those few weeks that are so tough in particular. You may even be able to help some of us having similar problems in the past but going through new pgcies. Good lukc, and hope to speak soon.xx

COLETTE1210 Fri 12-Dec-03 16:58:35

HI HANA. SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOSSES. IT'S VERY HARD AND IT ISN'T FAIR. DO YOU KNOW WHAT GETS ME. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO DON'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THE LIFE THEY ARE GROWING INSIDE OF THEM THEY DON'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND MOST OF THE TIME THEY HAVE NO PROBLEMS. IT ISN'T NORMAL. THE OTHER DAY I SEEN A GIRL MAYBE IN HER 30'S AT LEAST 7 MONTHS PREGNANT DRUNK AS COULD BE MAKING HER FRIEND BLOW CIGARETTE SMOKE IN HER FACE. I LITERALLY GOT PHYSICALLY SICK WATCHING THAT. I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT AT THAT TIME BUT I TURNED TO MY SISTER IS DISBELIEF AND WAS LIKE SOMEONE LIKE THAT DOESN'T DESERVE TO HAVE A BABY. THAT BABY INSIDE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE SICK BECAUSE OF THE ANIMAL PUTTING POISON INTO HER BODY. MEANWHILE HERE I AM TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING 100% FOR MY BODY TO EVEN HOLD A BABY. I JUST DON'T GET IT.

WOW, THAT WAS SOME VENT. SORRY..

bunny2 Fri 12-Dec-03 19:10:35

Colette, congratulations on your pregnancy.

I recently had my second miscarriage (both diagnosed at 12 wk scans) and I am desperate to be pregnant again but also absolutely terrified. I know I am going to be a nervous wreck for the entire time (well, especially until I have had a successful 12 wk scan). Can you get regular scans to give you some reassurance? My consultant has promised me scans every 2 weeks during my next pregnancy. You should get the same.

When you can bear to read through some of the other threads (there are loads of discussions in the Miscarriage/bereavement section) you will come across many women who feel just like you and lots of them have gone on to have babies.

Clairabelle Fri 12-Dec-03 19:37:14

Just to say keeping everything crossed for you. Glad to hear you're seeing a high risk doctor and getting early tests. Lots and lots of luck

hana Sat 13-Dec-03 21:06:15

forgot to say congratulations colette!
hana

NorfolkTurkey Sun 14-Dec-03 21:48:05

Hi everyone! I am pregnant for the third time (lost previous 2 - live birth at 24 and stillbirth at 26). I know what Colette means. My sister survived on a diet of Monster Munch, smoked like a chimney and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy! I dunno about you, my tolerance level is now quite low as you realise how important some things in life are. Its like when these NSPC adverts come on the TV - they make me really mad! I think castrate the adults who do this!!!

Sorry Colette - I didn't mean to rabbit on! Congrats anyway!!!

NorfolkTurkey Sun 14-Dec-03 21:52:21

Also (am in full flow now!) try not to look on the bad side on things! I know how hard it is but try and be positive. Mind you, I've had a few scares! I had a vaginal probe last week, all was ok, wiped up but as not much tissue my hubbie handed me some. I didn't know at the time that he had been biting the skin around his fingers as he was nervous and had bled on the tissue. I wiped myself saw the blood and instantly thought oh my god!!!!!! Earlier on today I went to the loo, wiped (always check - habit) saw blood. Panicked again! I think that I've scratched myself (don't ask) as I could kind of feel it! Anyway panic over!!

Twinkie Mon 15-Dec-03 09:28:12

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WSM Mon 15-Dec-03 09:50:09

Congratulations Collette and Norfolk Turkey.

I have also experienced a late miscarriage. My daughter (Hollie) died in utero at 26 weeks, I had to go through an induced labour which was the most awful thing I have ever been through. When I became pregnant with my now 16 month old daughter I was terrified, especially when I knew things could go so horribly wrong so very late on. I couldn't rest until she was born and I *knew* things were going to be alright. I am pleased to report that I had a very easy pregnancy and a rapid 3 hour labour with no pain relief. My DD was born a healthy 7lb 1oz at 37+3.

There is very little chance of you not worrying for most of this pregnancy, so I won't ask you not to. But there are positive stories, mine is one of them. I think about Hollie every day but I have to be positive and think of the future. My only advice for you both in this pregnancy is take it one day at a time.

Best wishes
WSM

Brunhilda Mon 15-Dec-03 22:31:59

I had 2 mcs and then a baby and have just had another mc. It is a real bugger but some women seem prone and I am resigned to more mcs as I keep trying but I am very very optimistic of having more babies. I remember when I was low my sister telling me of a girl at her antenatal class who had 3 mcs and then a baby. My doc said it is a roll of the dice every time. All I would say is keep on and keeep on and keep on trying and be kind to yourself. Also keep very healthy. You are not alone.

Brunhilda Mon 15-Dec-03 22:32:43

Realise you are pg already. Congrats and stay strong. You are not alone.

Brunhilda Mon 15-Dec-03 22:33:13

Realise you are pg already. Congrats and stay strong. You are not alone.

hana Mon 15-Dec-03 23:23:30

Congrats to you as well Norfolk Turkey (just HOW did you come up with that one?!?!) Best of luck with this pregnancy - I believe and agree with what Brunhilda has already said - about (tryin and trying which you've obviously done) and being kind to yourself. This is a great site for sharing thoughts and experiences, I hope it can help you as much as it has me in the last year or so.
love hana

Twinkie Tue 16-Dec-03 08:35:26

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COLETTE1210 Tue 16-Dec-03 16:22:15

THIS IS A PRAYER I SAY EVERY NIGHT AND EVERY MORNING. I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE.

THE PATRON SAINT TO MOTHERHOOD

PRAYER TO ST. GERARD FOR MOTHERHOOD:
O GOOD ST. GERARD, POWERFUL INTERCESSOR BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD, WONDER-WORKER OF OUR DAY, I CALL UPON YOU AND SEEK YOUR HELP. WHILE ON EARTH, YOU ALWAYS FULFILLED GOD'S DESIGNS; HELP ME, TOO, ALWAYS DO GOD'S HOLY WILL. BESEECH THE MASTER OF LIFE, FROM WHOM ALL PARENTHOOD PROCEEDS, TO BLESS ME WITH OFFSPRING, THAT I MAY RAISE UP CHILDREN TO GOD IN THIS LIFE AND HEIRS TO THE KINGDOM OF GOD'S GLORY IN THE LIFE TO COME.

AMEN.

WiShuaMerryXmas Tue 16-Dec-03 16:24:13

Hope it continues to work for you Collette

NorfolkTurkey Tue 16-Dec-03 19:45:57

You are all so right! I especially agree with Brunhilda and Hana - be kind to yourself, stay strong and you'll be surprised how quickly you'll fall. I fell within two months after each of my losses. I feel like I've been pregnant for 18 months!

Hana - I come from Great Yarmouth, Norfolk so it was a toss up between that and carrotcruncher. Went for Norfolk Turkey as it kind of goes with the time of year!!

COLETTE1210 Wed 17-Dec-03 16:27:03

ALL OF YOU ARE THE BEST. WELL TODAY I HAVE A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT WHICH THEY WILL BE GIVING ME MY FIRST SONOGRAM! HOPEFULLY, IT WON’T BE TOO EARLY FOR THEM NOT TO SEE THE SACK. I AM EXTREMELY NERVOUS TODAY. MY MOTHER (GOD BLESS HER, SO SUPPORTIVE) BASICALLY SAID THAT IF THERE WAS GOING TO BE SOMETHING WRONG I WOULD HAVE HAD SOME TYPE OF WARNING SIGN. ALL OF MY PREVIOUS PREGNANCIES ENDED WITH A SIGN OF SOME SORT. BUT SO FAR SO GOOD. SO THEREFORE, I SHOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT NOW, RIGHT??????

Jenie Wed 17-Dec-03 17:00:05

Good luck Collett with with appointment today, if it's any comfort I'll say a prayer for you tonight sending you a big cyber hug and congratulations on your good news!

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