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Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

(1000 Posts)
10000fireflies Fri 08-Jun-12 20:33:53

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on. smile

knottyhair Thu 14-Jun-12 13:08:29

Finally got my scan date! Weds 20th June at 2.40, also got a consultant appt for 2nd July.
Exexe, glad you're now booked in. Whatname, Christmas Day! I'm due Christmas Eve, although hoping for an ELCS before then.

exexe Thu 14-Jun-12 13:09:44

And I weigh 13 stones!! sad
I'm only half way through and have put on 2 stones. I'm going to have to up the walking and down the snacking.

exexe Thu 14-Jun-12 13:11:12

Knotty thats the same date as my next scan! Not

ValiumQueen Thu 14-Jun-12 14:08:46

Hpbp 9 out of 10 wow! Rotten your own brother dentist cannot see you until then. Shame on him.

Bytheseaside apparently I was written up for Morphine initially afterwards but only for 24 hours (given some in theatre) but as I was BFing they did not want to give it. I went bonkers as it should have been my decision. Will have that chat beforehand this time. The drugs were sufficient tbh, when given properly, but the midwives gave me all my ibuprofen and pcm 4 hourly then I could not have anything for hours! I then kept a chart and asked for it when due, and managed to keep on top of it. It is easier to keep on top of pain than get rid once it resurfaces. The shoulder pain was actually the worst.

Hpbp Thu 14-Jun-12 14:20:45

Whatname, Exexe, Knotty, very goods news ! everything starts to be more real, doesn,t it ? Winter babies. What a present for Christmas, very unique indeed.
VQ, I know but he is so fully booked and he needs his assistant to work on my tooth, she has family responsibilities too so I don't want her to do extra time. I know too well the nightmare of rushing home to release the babysitter, so I won't impose that on her. Lets just hope the second part of my crown will last until then ! I am not the smiley person I used to be anymore smile to hide that hole... 9 out of 10 and 21 nephews and nieces ! can you imagine Christmas at my Mum's ? it is a proper logistic operation every year, I can tell you
Exexe, yes I am having the baby in Paris, 33+6 today so another 6 weeks to go, quite far but also very close.

bytheseaside Thu 14-Jun-12 14:40:08

What a nice good news day! I'm ready for sleep again as it's way past my afternoon nap time smile Saw consultant again today and my bp is coming down nicely thank goodness, so I'll just have to put up with the drug-induced extreme sleepiness for now. Heard hb again, nice and strong, so baby's clearly not bothered.

VQ thanks for the info - that's really good to know. I'm going to try to make a pain meds plan with consultant beforehand, and get it written in my notes if I can, and have DP on duty for setting the alarm for four hourly intervals! When I've had ops in the past, I've found paracetamol and ibuprofen have utterly no effect on the pain and I was hoping for at least morphine, so we'll see ... maybe if i have elcs then hypnobirthing techniques will help with the pain afterwards? I'll get my acupuncturist on standby to help too as he's magic. Baby comes first obv, don't want them spaced out on pain killers for their first few hours.


eagleray Thu 14-Jun-12 20:47:05

Evening all

Well I finally had my booking appointment today - feels like it has taken forever to get to this date (am 8+5 now). Aside from all the blood taking and form filling, there were a few interesting points to note:

Age - apologised for being 40 as soon as I sat down. Turns out I am 'normal' age for this area of the UK and the midwife is very used to seeing pregnant women in their 40s and 50s!! She said admittedly the 50-somethings have usually had some sort of intervention...

Having the baby - really expected to be told local hospital is only option, but was given several options. I loathe hospitals, especially local one as it holds some very bad memories for me, so was very interested in other options of midwife-led unit out of town, or home, but will really need to think things through and be realistic about what I would feel comfortable with (and DP would probably do his nut at the prospect of anything that sounded 'risky' to him)

Scan - silly GP had told me they will scan at 10 weeks as 'they like to do it early' - this turns out to be complete nonsense as they don't do it til 12 weeks. This is only another couple of weeks, but am disappointed as thought I was only days away from my next 'milestone'.

Weight - very shocked at my weight. Last time I weighed myself (day of BFP) I was 80kg - deliberately weighed myself in kg as couldn't automatically convert to stones and therefore see how bad my weight really was. So today I see it in stones and lbs (12st 8lb) on the hospital computer and get the shock of my life. Worse still, I probably weigh even more now. I have struggled with my weight the last few years as have to take horrible drugs for pituitary disease and as they've increased the dose, my weight has crept up a little. Have begged for help from consultants and gp as no diet or nutritional plan will shift it but always been told it's either my age, my hormones, my medical condition, my drugs or that I'm just greedy! And so now because my bmi is 30.1 (or probably even worse) I have been warned I may need extra tests and possibly be invited to receive some sort of healthy eating advice at a hospital appointment. I'm so bloody mad about the whole thing! Anyway, midwife said not to worry about it too much and I stupidly asked if the pregnancy could make use of the fat I've got as I don't need to lay down any more bloody fat stores! Oh, and can't take the drugs while pregnant so will be interesting to see if my metabolism/greediness turns over a new leaf.

Sorry for long rant - at least it all feels a bit more real now and I had soup and salad for dinner tonight (surprisingly edible despite the waves of nausea today)

Hpbp - am wincing regarding your poor tooth!

Nosleep - I feel your pain regarding the nausea. I seem to have kept mine at bay through regular eating (ie don't wait until you are starving) and also drinking liquids frequently (my fave seems to be expensive cordials mixed weakly with sparkling water). And ice pops are ace as well.

Whatname - great news re your scan! And Knotty - I'm a little jealous as imagined I would get a scan around the 20th, but I will just have to be patient. Good luck for next week

ValiumQueen Thu 14-Jun-12 21:49:29

bytheseaside NOT 4 HOURLY! That is what the MWs did, and I ran out and got. Big pain!! PCM every 6 hours, and Ibuprofen every 8 hours. I even set my alarm to have the meds on time. Even when asleep. Usually the little darling had me awake anyway. Peppermint is good for shoulder pain. Have plenty of dried apricots or similar. You want the post birth poop to just slip out grin

Had a blubber at work as feeling so old. It was quite sweet as one of my colleagues (age 21) said she did not think I was old. I said my age, and she gasped in surprise! Made my day. Later, I told another colleague I was pg with no3 and she looked positively disgusted and did not say anything for ages. Bitch!

Two more weeks at work. Yay! 20 weeks today. Feel almost naughty.

Whatnamethistime Thu 14-Jun-12 22:04:46

The downside to this morning, was they want me to be consultant led, due to my history of pregnancy bleeding, I said a resounding no, Im not intersted in a consultant unless I need one, strangely this time, no bleeding, so far, which of course is a good thing, so fingers crossed it lasts.

Have booked nuchal, £190 shock -they make you pay up front grin.

My babies are usually early, I dont really want a Christmas Day baby, poor little thing, DD never gets anything for her Jan bday as she is always drowing in stuff from Christmas.

Knotty, very exciting that we are due same time smile

Today has been the best day since the turn of the year, there is something magical about seeing that tiny being and it has really, really lifted my spirits smile, the DCs noticed, I played with them properly for first time in months.

HPBP - 10 SIBLINGS wow!!

Eagle I love the MLUs, I am thinking home birth in bath, have extra large bath, dilemna!! And they wont let me if consultant led. Sorry to read about the problems you had today.

Lactulose is the key to a post birth pain free pooh

Midgetm Fri 15-Jun-12 08:20:13

Morning all,

Been to busy at work so not had the chance to catch up but bugger it it's Friday so I must make time.

Whats Good for you going for what you want. As much as I would love a home birth I know it aint ever going to happen and I feel kind of reassured being consultant led, they were so good last time I had my daughter and they keep such a close eye on me. I am more of the school of thought now that I don't care how it comes out of me, as long as it does. After my last experience I have low expectations. I am also in the same situation as Eagleray my DP would not be happy if I did anything he considered risky. So if the Dr says I need to be consultant led I am being a good wifey and listening to them

VQ Sorry you had a wobble. You are not old you are slightly matured and fabulous.

Eagle Don't let the weight thing get you down. There are a few on this thread with high BMI's who will be able to offer you much better support but I think some of them are sticking with Slimming World throughout their pregnancy's. I salute them. I was a total control freak about my weight before I got pregnant - having only just got back to my ideal weight. Despite my good intentions it is already creeping on more than it should because of my desire to eat utter crap. I am making a really concerted effort to eat much more healthily but so far its only lasted a couple of days.... I think it is hard but not impossible when pregnant - it just depends on who wins, the craving or the common sense (so far my cravings are kicking my arse!)

Bytheseaside Most excellent that the BP is coming down. Good luck on getting morphine - let me know if you are successful as I can't imagine they will part with the good shit when BF but worth getting more than paracetamol - that is like sending in a lightweight against Mike Tyson.

HP Hope the tooth is hanging in there - your family make mine sound tiny and we are a force to be reckoned with when all together (5 of 5, all with children). I imagine your lunches are 'boisterous'

So on the subject of weight gain Ex is saying 2 stone at half way. Which has got me thinking about when you put the most on. 2nd trimester for me has been the big pile on - didn't put much on at all first trimester - just 2lbs I think. I am now 21 weeks. Is it likely to be about 1lb a week from here on in? I already feel huge and make involuntary oomp sounds when I stand up. Does the weight gain speed up in the last trimester? I can't remember with DD but I was bloody huge. could only wear Birkenstocks and had cankles the size of an elephant. I really do want to avoid that this time if I can as it was bloody unpleasant.

Right best go - so much work hassle right now. Looming redundancies and really I am struggling to give a shit. We have more important things going on right now don't we? I am counting down the days to the next scan. Strangely remaining positive about the damage that could have been done by that bastard band. The baby is wriggling, it seems well and I will still love it no matter what. I suppose that is the only way to look at things to stay sane.

Take care wrinklies x

Midgetm Fri 15-Jun-12 08:38:31

whats just read back my post, not suggesting home burry us risky for you. Worried that may have come across wrong .

bytheseaside Fri 15-Jun-12 11:14:58

vq ah I see - thanks. Just as well I've got 4months to get this sorted still ...

eagle sorry the weight thing is causing you stress - I can understand that. In the past I was on medication that made me pile it on, and it took a massive effort for me to lose it last year, motivated by helping our ivf to work - and at the time my only enemy was a deep desire for chocolate and icecream, rather than any medical prob like you have.

midgetm yes I think it's an average of a lb a week weight gain in 2nd tri, don't know what happens after that. By magic, I've been under that so far, but I won't gloat as my appetite is increasing by the day and I'm sure I will soon catch up and overtake on the cankles front. Already I can tell exactly what socks I have just been wearing before by the puffy knitting-marks on my feet - how interesting! Can't think of a practical use for that particular skill yet

The whole pain thing is really weighing on my mind - I've always had an atrocious pain threshold which doesn't bode well, coupled with a first-timer's fear of childbirth. And I have a history of endo and assoc pelvic pain, so I'm thinking things might not be straightforward although consultant seems relaxed about the whole thing. Today I'm leaning toward elcs with max drugs ... Will try not to go on about it too much. Seaside xxx

Whatnamethistime Fri 15-Jun-12 12:04:50

It's ok dh was dead set against home birth last time as he wanted o at least be somewhere with neo natal facilities - but mother nature decided to show him that it was fine - was emergency home birth!!!!

Out of the 3 - first in hospital, 2nd MLU (didn't want a doctor near me long story), 3rd at home in a rush - 2nd was the nicest - yes it was painful but nothing extreme and the MLU was a very calming place.

Am tempted by MLU because I found home birth led to "carry on ad normal" attitudes from older ones, whereas at least if you "go somewhere" you get a break for a few hours. Not that dH isn't wonderful.

Oh well have ages to make that decision hey.

Whatnamethistime Fri 15-Jun-12 12:07:02

Bytheseaside I know its trite - but try not to work too much.

You can always have an epidural and there will be no pain x

Midgetm Fri 15-Jun-12 12:17:15

I wanted MLU this time. As a compromise, but the swines said no. Maybe I need to get more assertive....

Whatnamethistime Fri 15-Jun-12 12:20:21

They said no to me - so I said I'd have a homebirth - that changed their minds!

MummyWilliams Fri 15-Jun-12 19:19:18

Evening ladies. I am soooo tired. It was my 41st birthday yesterday, I went to bed at 9.30pm - how sad is that? Had an ok day but it was just 'business as usual' as you would expect from a busy mum of 3. I'm self employed too!!! Anyhow, nothing really to report here, getting lovely movements from the little bubba boy.

I have c-sections. 1st birth was induction (due to high blood pressure) which resulted in an emergency section, because after trying to push for a good hour and a half, without progression they realised that I have a man shape pelvis. So have now had 3 sections and this will be my 4th. You get to self medicate at our hospital. You are prescribed codeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen and you manage your own. Think it's a bit silly not to get the codeine especially for the first few days. We also get a strong pain killer in as a pessary just before leaving theatre.

I too have a high bmi in this pregnancy. I am a size 12-14, 5ft 4in tall but with a bmi of 32. Never lost all the pregnancy weight gain from last one. So have to have the GTT in July sometime.

Have a great weekend everyone.

eagleray Fri 15-Jun-12 21:09:23

Whatname - you got me thinking regarding birth in a bathtub! Does anyone actually do that? I have a giant rolltop bath which would be lovely, although I think it is way too early for me to entertain such ideas. I am in awe of your unexpected home birth, although I guess it must have been quite stressful at the time!

Midgetm/Bythesea - thanks for the kind words re my weight - my nausea has got a lot worse these last couple of days, but I'm trying not to see that as a reason to stuff my face with rubbish. Had soup and cheese on toast tonight, but only really enjoyed the cola ice pop I had for dessert

MummyWilliams - many happy returns for yesterday! I am just 10 weeks behind you in terms of age and am with you on the 9.30 bedtime (was lying on my bed at 5pm today). Sounds like you are juggling an awful lot more than me though!

Another thing that was mentioned at my booking appt was the option of induction due to being 40+, which rung a bell as something I had seen discussed on MN before. Now that the sick feelings are really kicking in, I think I will put aside all birth plans for a few weeks until I get through the scan - it's all getting a bit too much to think about! DP is getting really freaked out by the scan now (he is just generally freaked out by all things baby) so looks like I will have to do some work there.

Here's hoping there's some nice weather for us all this weekend - I am certainly looking forward to getting out and stretching my legs and breathing fresh air after a week wedged into an office chair trying not to chuck up over my keyboard....

Whatnamethistime Fri 15-Jun-12 21:31:08

eagle this is some discussion of over 40 induction further down this thread (on the one before this??) it's towards the end of thread, so if you start backwards you should find it.

Whatnamethistime Fri 15-Jun-12 21:34:54

mummy happy birthday, I'm in bed, I'm having a tired thing between 4 and 6, dh is getting snappy because he comes in at that time and he is having to move straight into cooking tea.

He is lovely as a rule - most unlike him - think he is covering a bit of worry.

10000fireflies Fri 15-Jun-12 23:58:45

Hello, gorgeous, fellow, fantastically fabulous forty somethings

Busy day for me… More on that later. Sorry, in advance. Is a guffy post and can't edit it down more. Going to do a bit of a catch up here as have eaten so much this avo, I will have to wait a couple of hours before going to bed or acid reflux tonight will be horrendous!

A general point re pain – the body heals faster if pain relief is kept constant. Not sure how this relates to pain of childbirth though. I think a key to dealing with labour pain is being as calm as possible.

Exex Glad you had your booking appt and have things set up for possible Csec. I have/had acid reflux but can’t relate it to bread. Fruit juice and tomato ketchup for me though!! Try some Gaviscon and see. Personally, hate the stuff, but a burning throat in the middle of the night is not pleasant either.

HPBP so all good with your baby’s growth? Inconsistent care – have no exp of UCLH, but is very much like my experiences throughout whole pregnancy. This is the RLT I have: V nice – prob because of hibiscus in it. OOoh, how lovely being one of 10!

seaside I did preg pilates. Was good, but only 6 weeks long. Some of NCT group do weekly yoga class – includes tea and chat and general support afterwards. They all seem so chilled. I wish I had done it. Do you get anything with class apart from more foolish positions? Have you considered Hypnobirthing for that deep sense of calm? grin I always fall asleep when I put my CD on!!

Nosleep welcome!! No tips on sickness, sorry.

Knotty See above re RLT. This one tastes ok. And a Christmas baby. Lovely. Either Holly or Rudolph?

Whatname awww a lovely Christmas present for you!! grin

eagle excellent news that you are booked in now. Interesting what they say about your age. Nice to have options about where you have your baby. Sympathies re your weight issues. My BMI was just over 30 at booking in, but I did ok up to week 30 and only put on about a stone – I think they were expecting me to turn into a big fat blob! I have never been a big or unhealthy eater. Struggled to lose weight recently and IVF didn’t help. I had to have the GTT but was all ok. I tried to be healthy in eating – had lots of fresh, tropical fruit salads and yogs (good combo for avoiding constipation too!!). Have had phases of choc cravings, accompanied with extreme tiredness, but it passed. I think you will be ok too. We are allowed to eat 300-500 extra calories a day…. People said earlier on in my preg that they thought I’d lost weight, and it is possible I wasn’t eating more than normal – didn’t have room!! Re induction as you’re so incredibly old… see below, because that is what I am currently struggling with.

You ladies who are asserting your rights are making me laugh. I should be more like you!!

Happy Belated Birthday MummyW

OK, so after feeling elated with my appt with consultant Tues, and happy with a) induction pencilled in for mid to end next week, b) 1 cm dilation and c) that water birth may be possible, find myself being knocked back and left feeling pretty depressed by events thereafter.

Had discussed possible sweep with trusted MW, pencilled in for today. And cons said I should have monitoring every other day before induction, from today onwards. Speak to assessment unit, make an appt for today, and get lecture on going over term at age 40+. Felt depressed and worried last night. Not cheered up by stupid phone conversation with twat of DB either. But today’s another day, and I always try to be positive…

Report at 10:10 for 10:30 appt. ‘Appointment? We don’t do appointments here….’ But they can ‘squeeze’ me in. Phew. Get the ‘it’s dangerous to go over 40 weeks at your age’ chat. We move on to do CTG which is why I am there. After lots of fannying and second opinion, decide baby in ‘funny’ position. Second MW gives me a looooooong lecture on going overdue at my age…. So I remind her am not yet overdue, and nor have I refused induction… Still, monitoring shows baby ok. They comment on lack of movement I feel though. Hello? I have been saying that all along! Then they ask about sweep and I say, no thanks, but can you check and tell me what cervix is up to. ‘No, that is weird request and they are one and the same thing’, so I either have exam and sweep or nothing. So I take nothing. Pissed off.

They do a scan and decree baby oblique so start muttering about C-secs etc etc.(with disgusting, gel encrusted scanner. Bleugh). So off to consultant.
Wait an hour to see consultant. Feel naughty baby do massive wriggle, so of course, cons has no idea what MWs are on about, as baby cephalic and partially engaged. Looks at notes, says baby a good grower, CTG shows baby seems good today so induction in 4 days fine. She confirms sweep and cervix check not same things… Prescribes daily monitoring and packs me off to MW to book induction for Weds. Before leaving, third MW also confirms cervix check and sweep not same thing. Then takes me to Assessment Unit to book monitoring for tomorrow… which is possible. So what the freaking f**k are they are on there??!!

Jeeze, I have a headache!! I went into town after all that. Bought a balcony parasol so I can enjoy next weeks good weather with baby and picked up pram accessories and staggered home. And slept a lot!!

So, according to MW 2: post 40 weeks, 1/100 women over age of 40, who have had a healthy pregnancy, experience sudden placenta failure, with ensuing serious consequences. (She hinted at stillbirth). She didn’t give me a ref, but did say this was based on a 1958 study. Seriously, this hospital has to change the way they are dealing with us oldies. I will be writing to them once I’ve had this baby with some constructive criticism!! I am going to contact NCT and other organisations and see what they have to say about it too. If the number of women having babies in their 40s has doubled recently then we need some proper scientific data for these decisions to be based on.

If I had known the distress I would have felt over this I may well have gone for a CS.

I consoled myself by eating nearly all of the lovely, expensive chocs that I had bought for DH to charm MWs with. There. That’ll teach em!!

Midgetm Sat 16-Jun-12 09:07:49

FF so sorry you are getting such inconsistent and down right shoddy treatment.

I always understood it was fine to go over as long as closely monitored but not something I would do myself. My placenta wasn't in the best shape last time and that was 5 years ago so I am going to accept induction or CS this time pretty much whenever they offer it. However, I have a marvellous consultant who I totally trust. This makes a great difference. And she closely monitors placenta and growth. I had problems with both. Sound's like you have no such problems. Why do you not want a sweep (apart from the obvious gross aspect of someone scratching at your fanjo)? I found then the lesser of any pregnancy evils but as you know from my last post I do as I am told by HCP's. (then get home and question myself after).

Anyways I really feel for you that they are leaving you so messed around. It's not what you need at all. The inconsistent messages are so frustrating. When I had DD the consultant said pretty much we need to get her out of there like now, so booked induction at 37 weeks. Went to see my midwife who was 'oh you dont want to do that, it will be agony, you'll need forceps, they'll cut you from fanjo to bumhole etc etc. So irritating and I wanted to slap her, and left me thinking, I either risk myself or the baby. Thanks for your smashingly unhelpful advice! As it turned out I had no intervention after the induction and although I can't say it was painfree that was because of back to back labour, not induction.

Blimey, what a rambling load of twaddle that is, can't edit properly as on my phone. Trying to say, I feel your Frustration but it will all come good in the end x

Whatnamethistime Sat 16-Jun-12 09:22:47

Off for my nuchal scan - wish me luck - very nervous.

Midgetm Sat 16-Jun-12 09:31:13

Good luck whats

knottyhair Sat 16-Jun-12 09:52:25

Good luck whatnamethistime. Let us know what happens smile.

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