Advanced search

Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Fantastic 40+ Mums To Be

(1000 Posts)
10000fireflies Fri 08-Jun-12 20:33:53

A lovely shiney new thread for us to keep chatting on. smile

notsoold Tue 12-Jun-12 09:29:53

53 is wow...
Our daughter (18) is coming to visit with her fiancee....she was freaked by the thought of her mum and dad doing it let alone getting pregnant.
So we went from parents freaking out when pregnant age 23 ( I was very immature)to DD freaking out because we are too old.
Ps my DH friends are so happy for he had won a marathon are a bit weird ...

tiredmumma Tue 12-Jun-12 09:35:50

Im not sure yet but will know next week

Midgetm Tue 12-Jun-12 14:17:17

Ive just been told 'how brave I am'. This is scary as I am not brave at all. Should I be? Is having a baby over 40 a feat of bravery?

littleredmonkey Tue 12-Jun-12 19:58:24

midgetm- well done for the gym and bless ya for being shattered. I was in a three hour meeting today and thought great can sit for a bit, crap it was more uncomfortable then walking about. Safe in my bed with my fluffy socks on and cup of tea in hand. Not managed the gym in nearly two weeks and at this point too knackered after work to care. Find putting on my socks and underwear a massive effort at the moment. I have 8 flights of stairs when I get to work they are a killer first thing in the morning and dont get any easier during the day. My giant ass will have to wait till November before it gets any attention.

Happy thought of the day : Yeh for drugs !!! ( the safe ones that save us all the pain )

Velo Tue 12-Jun-12 20:21:16

Hi ladies - just marking my place in the thread and saying 'Happy Birthday Me'- now officially at the ripe old age of 40! I agree with 'littleredmonkey on the strain of long meetings - I squirm then entire time and then keep on having to nip off to the loo....

FjordMor Tue 12-Jun-12 20:57:46

Suddenly, unwantedly, massively busy (with house selling & MIL birthday stuff) but wanted to say Happy Birthday thanks Velo! And Midget - "you're very brave" seems to be one of those trite things people say when they admire how well you're coping with stuff (you have been through loads with this pregnancy and before, let's face it) but don't know what to say. I remember my cousin who had just lost her husband in an accident saying her son's 16 year old girlfriend said the same (and it didn't go down very well - being in shock/desperate grief is very much not 'bravery'). We figured it was what someone says who has no idea what you're going through, nor has any experience of it, but is in awe of how you're coping 'cos they think it sounds awful and scary and they would publicly be in pieces...I'm sure that's not helpful so I'll shut up now as I have about another 2 minutes on the computer before my curfew... waves to everyone

Hpbp Tue 12-Jun-12 21:53:05

yes Ladies we are brave. Our life will change so much, it will never be the same again, we were free to go anywhere, master of our time, financially independent... we know all that and we still go for it. We now have someone who will depend on us, that we love already before the first meeting. But it has no link to our age, as far as I am concerned. It is just the responsibility we will bear for the rest of our life that makes us brave.

Happy birthday to you Velo. You had your place in this thread even before you turned 40 !

Met a consultant today to speak about induction. TBH it was a waste of time, 2hours late and she did not give me any more info than what I know already. the EDD in the UK is 27 July and in France 7 Aug, how can it be so different when the ovulation date is known for sure ? Will think about it a little bit more but at the end of the day, induction or not, as long as baby is in good health, I don't really mind.

Same thoughts about epidural, why would anyone choose to feel pain during delivery when one can avoid it ? I can understand that having the epidural early can slow down delivery but it is never too late to have it. So I think when I reach 5cm, I will ask for it. Hopefully I won't be told that there is no one to perform the epidural. I guess I will be angry enough to jump on the MW if so !

I am in a very bad mood tonight. DH is in NYC for the whole week, DS1 tired and not behaving as usual, long wait in hospital for nothing, and the cherry on the cake : while eating couscous, I broke the only crown I have... ceramic crown, quite visible, cracked from the gum ! I am really not in the mood of shopping around to find a reliable not too expensive dentist... would they treat me anyway with my massive bump ? on the other hand I really don't see myself with a missing tooth for 8 weeks... what would the pics with baby look like if I don't smile !!!!

very glad to see that every one is back on this thread, LRM, VQ, Fjord, Midget, Velo, Notsoold and welcome Tired...

FF, have you finished packing your hospital bag ? How are you feeling ? Excited, scared, tired, impatient ? I thought of you this morning as I packed for DS1 and baby to come.
I have not packed for me yet. It is very difficult, clothing for the end of pg and after pg but how do I know how long it will take to be able to get back in my pre pg cloth, if it ever happens... smile

Have another growth scan tomorrow evening. Hope I won't have any surprise. Fingers crossed that growth is still consistent. Little girl's kicking and moving are consistent, I must say. She still loves sugary treats and around this time of the evening she starts moving a lot, I can see the iPad losing its balance but never managed to capture that on video. Shame. I will keep trying.

Time to go to bed now. Will catch up tomorrow.

Hpbp Tue 12-Jun-12 22:01:05

sorry Exexe, Bytheseaside, Knotty, MummyWilliams, Eagle... did not mean not to welcome you back on this second thread... have deleted part of my post without noticing...
really time to go to bed sad

10000fireflies Wed 13-Jun-12 00:14:30

Evening/morning my lovelies
MummyWilliams congrats on finding out you’re having a boy. Have you tried looking on the baby name threads for inspiration? Or the annual gov stats lists? I found both of those quite good to find out what was trendy /for inspiration and for what to avoid.
TiredMumma welcome and congrats on your pregnancy. Of course you’re not too old for this!! Apparently us older Mums are more patient amongst many other virtues. And it’s amazing what Botox can do for those wrinkles too!! grin
knotty - I was the same as you – couldn’t get too elated until knew for sure pregnancy was viable.
Valium good to hear from you, and glad you are ok after the bleeding. I am sorry being prego makes you feel ill. Not fair.

I am loving the news that there is a 53 year old lady out there expecting a baby with her own eggs. Amazing. Might be able to manage more than one myself then. grin

lrm glad you have slowed down a bit now. You’ll have had the LO before you know it and can start doing The Shred while he’s asleep. grin I’ve heard lots of new Mums swear by it. Lovely to hear how caring your partner is too. I am loving picturing you with your handcrafted sign saying YES to all drugs!! I might pop out and get some glitter, stickers and sticky back plastic tomorrow and have that in my labour bag just in case!! grin BTW, you might like Pethidine too…
Awww, bless you, seaside… 40 sounds so young to me, now that I am pushing 43!! BTW, I have been doing (half-heartedly) a hypnobirthing CD. It sends me off to sleep within minutes!! So can only assume it has the desired relaxing effect!!

So, even if we’re all going to be really tired, because we are fabulous but a bit crumbly, we’ll be much more effective at what we do, right? That’s what I’m going to start telling myself!!

Eagle what a lovely shopping trip! Stories like that just make me smile.
Midget you were on top form with your post yesterday. I went to be smiling and giggling at the thought of your post-workout walk!! Brave? Fecking cheek! Agree with Fjord though that whoever said it really does admire you.
notso I am waiting to hear how your daughter will cope with the news. Perhaps lie a bit and tell her you used a turkey baster? grin
hpbp like your thoughts on bravery. Frustrated for you re consultant. What sort of monitoring do you get? I think you’re right, if you’re healthy and baby is healthy then that is the main thing. You could consider from week 37 taking a good amount of Evening Primrose Oil, rasp leaf tea (I started taking these in week 39), and acupuncture/acupressure. There are studies which show EPO and acu can help spur on labour. I’ve been able to wear a lot of my pre-prego clothes as I got a bit tubby doing IVF, so the roomy clothes I bought during that time have expanded ok with bump. I hope you are getting a good nights sleep and you wake up in a better mood. Come and rant some more tomorrow if not.

So, I am a bit tired now, but really rather elated. Successful appt with consultant. Am not being pushed into induction Saturday. Consultant said scan from last Friday looked good, baby growing well and I am healthy, so we have agreed to start induction mid-next week. Also, she has written clearly in my notes that I am permitted a water birth if all else looks good on day. So, am generally much happier. Will have heart-beat monitoring every other day from Friday. The big news is (apart from baby approaching 9lbs already…!!), is that am already 1cm dilated. Did refuse kind offer of sweep though. Woo hoo!! A centimetre. And she touched baby’s head!! Not sure that it really means that much, but hey, body is preparing for birth… Celebrated by getting a pair of lovely leopard print pumps and doing a mahoosive M&S food shop – will fill freezer tomorrow!

Well, is my bedtime now. Let the count-down to bday begin!!

Sweet dreams all. FF xx

Midgetm Wed 13-Jun-12 07:36:22

Dear FF's cervix please carrying on dilating at a satisfactory speed. Yours sincerely Midge

10000fireflies Wed 13-Jun-12 08:38:24


exexe Wed 13-Jun-12 10:32:28

FF How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!
Hpbp how did the scan go? Sorry about your tooth. Velo happy belated birthday.
Midget People just say things sometimes. I must say I've had all manners of remarks - some of them a bit bitchy. One friend upset me by saying 'I don't know how you can do it! Rather you than me!' . I just ignore it now. Most peopel are genuinely happy and supportive.

I agree with you about being pain free. If I have a headache, I don't put up with it. I take some painkillers. Why would I want to put up with pain a million times worse??
I'd happily be knocked out for the whole thing!

I finally have a midwife! Yay! well almost. I've got a booking in appointment tomorrow morning.

Hope you're all doing well.

exexe Wed 13-Jun-12 10:57:21

I can't seem to eat bread anymore. Its probably a good thing as I do grab it whenever I'm peckish. Its giving me a bit of reflux. Bleurgh.
Anyone else have this?
Do I need to start on the gaviscon?

ValiumQueen Wed 13-Jun-12 11:29:50

I get the brave remark, but more in relation to this being no.3 and DD2 being only just two, and a little rascal with it.

Epidurals are good for pain relief, but it can get to the point where you are too far on to have one, you need to be in established labour before you can have one, they mean interventions are more likely, and it needs to be allowed to wear off before you push. Elective sections are the only way to avoid pain, but of course you have the post op pain to deal with, and only paracetamol and brufen to help you

Hpbp Wed 13-Jun-12 15:14:13

Scan has been brought forward from 6.15 pm to 1pm... I am saving on the babysitter costs !!! but more important than anything else, baby's growth is consistent, another scan in 2 weeks, I will then be 36 weeks. OMG. This doctor does not see why I should be induced, atm, all seems good. weird.
it seems that at UCLH, the scan unit and FMU are very thorough and cautious. whereas consultants and MW are all over the place, not knowing why their predecessor has requested to see me again... has any one had similar experience at uclh ?

Exexe, no matter what I eat, I have reflux and it has been like that since the beginning... it has not prevented me to put on 14 kg. Sorry for not giving you positive experience smile But I shall try fluid diet only as my tooth is now on the verge of falling apart and my brother dentist won't be able able to see me until 6 July...

FF, I shall follow your advice on EPO and see if I can stand Rasberry leave tea, I usually hate teas that are not black tea (Lady Grey being my favourite, and then Christmas tea). My other brother is a doctor and has talked briefly about acupuncture and delivery the other day. So I will definitively sit down with him as soon as I get back to Paris.

BTW, I am number 9 of a family of 10 so don't be surprised if I mention what seems to be my 1111th brother or sister. smile

bytheseaside Wed 13-Jun-12 15:30:07

ff lovely news! How's it going today? Are things starting yet?

hpbp great scan news smile

exexe I've had some reflux too, but not often - I assumed it was just because everything was getting squeezed in there ...

valium oh no! can you really only have paracetamol and ibuprofen after caesarian?? I'm 50/50 between cs and vb at the moment, but need very good pain strategies either way ... not I have my head out of the sand and am actually thinking about the birth, I'm utterly terrified. Back to the sand for a while, I think.

midgetm and lrm gym? stairs? I think you might need to do more sitting down!

Who else is doing pregnancy yoga? I love it, so relaxing, although the positions are more-than-usually foolish compared to regular yoga I think x

nosleepwithworry Wed 13-Jun-12 16:41:57

Hi there ladies, can i join you?

Im 42 next month and just got a BFP. This will be child numebr 2, i have a nearly 9 year old too.

Feeling decidedly sick and tired at the mo. Cant remember what i did about the nausea with my ds. (rememebr it lasted till i was 16 weeks tho!)
Any tips?

knottyhair Wed 13-Jun-12 16:45:57

hpbp, lovely news about the scan. ff, any developments?? bytheseaside, I'm looking forward to pregnancy yoga, I'm going to get a DVD once I've had my first scan. nosleep, welcome! I'm also expecting no2, and DS is 8. Very sick & tired, and I can only say that eating whatever I fancy (within reason!), little & often, seems to help a little with the nausea. It changes week to week at the moment but staples so far are toast, jacket potatoes, lots of fruit, fruit sherbert sweets, minicheddars blush. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Whatnamethistime Wed 13-Jun-12 20:04:54

Hello everyone, HPBP doesnt love me, she forgot me grin.

I am exhausted after 4, which with 2 under 5 and a teen isnt much fun.

Cant reply to everyone individually, too may posts, VQ, glad you are still here, hope all is now OK.

Re NCT, despite this being my 3 close together, I am sort of thinking of going just to meet other mums, all the ones I know have DCs heading to school and nursery. But its pricey ...

Re breast feeding, find out who your local breast feeding counsellors are, get their number, they will be lovely.

Re epidural (Ive done it this way), it can be wonderful, but in some cases, it can lead to increased intervention, water is a very good pain reliever. Epidural does however instantly kill pain and is blissful in that sense.

I have my scan tomorrow, I am very nervous as other than tiredness, symptoms have disappeared and I am getting nervous, so long as everything is OK, I will be booking a feotal anomally scan the week after. I feel bad, because its only in the last week or 2 I have come to terms with being pregnant again and now I am worried something will go wrong. I am still dreading telling people..

I am so looking forward to the scan, life is very stressful and a bit of a train wreck at the moment, surreal to a degree, so I am looking forward to the tiny heartbeat and the start of something nice for the future ( DH and DCs are lovely though thanks.

Its great being an older mummy, you have done a lot already, and so its nice to just enjoy DCs, yes I dont have the energy I had at 25, but I have so much more patience now. I enjoy "just being".

Rasberry leaf tea is foul, I usually disguise the taste with honey, I will also be investing in EPO after reading the other thread.

Whatnamethistime Wed 13-Jun-12 20:07:21

For breastfeeding, sorry, the best thing that happened to me was the local breast feeding group, its where I met all the friends I see now.

It gave me the confidence to keep going and also other meet other mums who BF.

Its like every other baby group, except, the mums all BF, no-one watches or judges and there is help and support if you need it.

Ours welcomed pregnant ladies who wanted to pop along prior to birth.

Hpbp Wed 13-Jun-12 22:33:31

Welcome to you Nosleep. Sorry I cannot help with MS. First pg 4 years ago it was just a metallic taste. Second pg, well strangely enough I can't remember even though I am only 33+5 ! Maybe because I still feel like throwing up ATM because of baby's position on the right hand side... smile But you know it will disappear sooner or later sad Tiredness, for sure, this time more than last time, is it age ? is it because there is an older child to look after ? maybe both. But overall very happy.

Whatname, OMG, how can you forgive me ? blush Can you put that on the baby brain side effect grin... Don't worry for the scan, everything will be fine, be positive. Worries are our second nature now unfortunately.

Bytheseaside and Exexe, it seems that there is no way we can avoid pain completely... we need to come up with the less painful plan we can think of. FF will be next to give us her advice. Lets hope she will find a solution. Please FF.

I am very proud of myself today. Have finally managed to pack for DS1, baby to come and myself ! Next step is to sort out papers and decide what to take with me, EHIC, red book, private insurance.... Next week at this time I will be in Paris.

Bye for now. Thinking of you FF.

Whatnamethistime Wed 13-Jun-12 22:59:36

missed about FF - good luck.


Baby brain, I went to Asdas today, walked from one end of shop to the other,then forgot what I was there for!!!

Silly me.

Hpbp Wed 13-Jun-12 23:09:33

I know this feeling Whatname.
I am in the kitchen planning to go upstairs to take something, go upstairs and then don't know what to do with myself, wondering Why did I go upstairs for ?
And this morning I put a chewing gum in my big mouth and realized that it was not a good idea with my split crown... so glad I got rid of it straight away because the upper part of the crown has gone with the brushing tonight... I have a wonderful smile now ! should really post a pic and I am sure to make money with ads for toothpaste

Whatnamethistime Thu 14-Jun-12 09:43:09

Just waiting for blood tests.

As predicted - it's due Christmas Day smile.

Am 12 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

It's not the phantom pregnancy I dreamed last night.

exexe Thu 14-Jun-12 12:20:12

I saw a midwife!!!! Yay!!!!
I'm now booked in. She's going to fill in a form and get me an appointment for a consultant to chat to me about elective c-sec. Its all starting to feel a bit more real now.

Whatname aah a Christmas baby smile.
Hpbp hope you get your tooth checked out soon. I can't remember how far gone you are. Are you having your baby in France?

This thread is not accepting new messages.