Midwives-do they really give a shit??

[cupcaketrix]

Has anyone else had poor experiences with their midwife? I see a different one each time I have a check up because I can't commit to a set day, but they all seem to want me out of the room as soon as possible, and can't be bothered to answer any questions - standing up before I do to gesture me to leave, looking at the clock.... My appointments last about 5 minutes if I'm lucky, apart from the time when they're checking the babies position and heart beat.

I just hope that when I go into labour they might be prepared to pay a bit more attention to what's going on!!

[vanillacremebrulee]

I'm frustrated with my community midwife too. She's very kind and a genuinely nice person but she's always in such a rush. I'm not even supposed to ring her on her mobile and when I have an appointment I don't feel she really listens, if you see what I mean? I don't really see much point of community midwives tbh. (before someone bites my head off Im not talking about all midwives, only those that do the routine appointments). My GP is equally capable of carrying out the same routine checks and I find that he cares much more about my health than my midwife.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Most mw I know DO give a shit in the overall sense, but nit in the ffs there's only me, excessive paperwork, going to miss my kids school play, screaming woman in cubical 3 who wants epidural but can't have unless I call in extra midwife which will make supervisor cross with me for agreeing epidural, and tomorrow I have to see 25 patients at 39 weeks in my slot for 10 etc etc.

[cupcaketrix]

Sorry if I came across a bit harsh or agressive - I know they are probably under a lot of stress, but its part of their role to give us advice and help to put us at ease. I find that I get more frustrated every time I see them, and think I'm having a little panic about what's going to happen when I come to have the baby and what support they'll be able to give when they come to see me at home.

At the moment it just feels like I'm getting in their way.

[coccyx]

why should a gp be doing routine checks, more challenging people to see

[HappyAsASandboy]

I think they really do care, but they really don't have time to spend as much time as we'd lime discussing routine stuff.

They use the appointments to assess whether they think anything is wrong, and if not then it's on to the next person. That way, they have time to spend with the lady who does have a problem.

If you have concerns/questions that you don't think are life threatening but you'd like answering, you might get a better response and more time from the midwives assistant. She almost certainly knows enough to answer basic questions, and won't hesitate to pass you on to the midwife if she thinks something needs more time/attention.

I think we need to try and remember that midwives are primarily there for when medical attention is needed. They give out the purple (?) NHS pregnancy book to help with questions, and hold antenatal classes to follow that up. The routine appointments are primarily there to catch women who need medical attention.

Of course some midwife teams have more time to spare, and I am sure the majority of those teams will happily spend more time talking you through things. But in my view, that's a bonus - their job is to keep you safe during pregnancy and birth.

[CharShep]

Mine doesn't care and seems very unprofessional generally. She spends half of every appointment I have had so far on the phone (saying things she should not be saying in front of me) and then telling me she hasnt got time to do whatever it she is meant to be doing!

[surfmama]

i must be lucky not gloating but she is superb listens and lets me have time. in fact i have also called the hospital mw's a few times and each time they have told me not to worry just call back if unsure of anything... Good ladies at the goodwood team. wld hate to feel rushed. i wonder what the patient mw numbers are like in different parts of the country?

[VeronicaSpeedwell]

I'm also lucky; I've only had good experiences, though I can see why they wouldn't be inclined to linger with people who are not in a state of particular medical need. It's good to be called in to regular appointments just in case, but I don't feel that a healthy pregnancy demands much attention. It's to feel like you can't ask a question though. What kind of questions do you have?

[VeronicaSpeedwell]

That should have said 'It's bad to feel like you can't ask a question'.

[User21276799]

coccyx in my area the GPs do half of the antenatal check appointments - it's standard.

cupcake I've had a similar experience with my midwife care. After being initially upset I've accepted that's the way it is in locality (and many others) and doing much more of my own research into things I want to know.

I am reliably informed that the same set of community midwives who hardly look you in the eye in the clinic are brilliant once you're actually giving birth, so apparently it's not an indication of what will happen later...

[emblosion]

I also have found the midwives I have seen so far to be great, professional and caring. I've been given loads of contact numbers to call with any questions or problems and encouraged to use them.

I'm happy for my appointments to be quick and to the point as I've been lucky enough to have no problems (touch wood!) and think its fair enough that more time is spent with women with greater need. I also wouldn't want to take up my GPs time when I am not unwell.

But having said that OP its not right that you don't feel able to ask questions and you are completely right to say giving advice is part of the midwife's role. Have you been given a contact number to ring for advice, that might be worth a try if you haven't already?

[Bue]

I'm on my community placement right now as a student MW. Most midwives do care - but they are under such incredible time constraints. People don't realise (and I didn't realise!) the additional things they have to fit in after you've left the room - writing up the notes on the GP's system, labelling bloods etc etc - all the grunt/admin work that takes up time. I find my mentor a little short with women sometimes (ie cutting off questions, not engaging fully with questions) but I know it's because she is against the clock. It makes me really sad that it's not possible to give the level of care that women deserve :(

I have found that it's somewhat better postnatally / at home visits, though. Antenatal clinic is definitely the worst for time pressures.

[ChineapplePunk]

I have to say that all the midwives I have seen have been great, both at hospital and at routine surgery appointments. They have been very patient and caring when dealing with my questions and anxieties. To be honest, I think it's a bit of a lottery. I know that many of the hospitals where I am located have really busy maternity units, and I think I have been lucky in that my local hospital has a fairly "quiet" maternity unit.

[Cazm2]

All midwives I have seen have been brilliant even in triage when they have said they are short staffed. I think the simple problem is there aren't enough of them especially in a booming population!

[seaweedhead]

Mine was lovely! had the same mw for both pregnancies and she was always really thorough with everything, really friendly and always asked if I had any questions. I moved to a different area towards the end of my last pregnancy so ended up with a different mw for my post natal checks. Original mw phoned me just to say congratulations and ask how I was- lovely woman!

[rednellie]

cupcaketrix, it's probably because you've got a healthy 'normal' pregnancy. I remember feeling exactly the same when I was pregnant - I was rushed, never got to go through my list of questions etc etc, but that was because there was nothing wrong with me or the baby. HOWEVER, when I went into labour (a planned homebirth) the same women who had seemingly not been interested in me at all were amazing. It was only then I discovered just how skilled they were, how much they were 'on my side'.

When I transferred into hospital after not progressing, they handed me over personally, made sure I got one of the nicer rooms and I think, thanks to their advocacy on my behalf, I was allowed to labour without any interference. Result - one great birth experience. I bought them all lots of chocolate after that!

This time round, I'm pregnant with twins and I have way more appointments and have to answer lots more questions, do more tests etc and frankly I'd rather be back to having the 5 min rushed ones!

[arwen110578]

Mine has been lovely too. I am on my 2nd pregnancy and have the same midwife again. Always see her unless she is on hols. And midwives at hospital fab too. I think I am same area as Surfmama as that is also the name of my community team. I am very grateful. Friends who live in other areas haven't had the same consistency or see a gp for their appts.