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Am I being a wimp with sickness?

(14 Posts)
sharond101 Thu 20-Oct-11 13:02:36

I am 8+3 weeks gone. Morning sickness started at 5+5 weeks. I am not actually sick very often but feel really lousy. Every time I stand up the room starts spinning and if more than two hours go without food I start to feel worse and after I eat I feel horrendous. No food appeals and all I want to do is lie in bed. My job is very stressful and high pace. I am expected to be available to patients at all times and manage a shop too. I stand all day and need to make decisions which impact on people health and I need to be on the ball. Frankly I am not at all on the ball and the thought of being on my feet all day is horrific even in my imagination. I have been off work for almost 2 weeks now and have a sickness line from my GP as well as some anti-emetics which are making a slight difference. I feel like a failure being off work and that I should be able to deal with the nausea, especially since I am rarely sick. My sister keeps texting me asking if I am at work yet and telling me what her colleague did to help her morning sickness when she was having twins and it feels like she too is judging me thinking I should be at work. I know everyones symptoms are different in type and intensity and one must consider the job they are in (sister sits down all day and can take as long as she needs to finish her work) but am I doing the right thing staying off? I decided last night to get up this morning and do as I would if I was going to work to see how I would cope but I couldn't drag myself out of bed until 10.30 and for work I need to get up at 7am! DH thinks I need to rest and that it's too important to risk going to work. He think my and the baby are more important. Any opinions or advice?

Yorky Thu 20-Oct-11 13:35:29

I am 11wks with DC4 and totally sympathise with how you feel - I haven't physically been sick at all but feeling lousy/dizzy and being ridiculously knackered all the time sound so familiar. I am the same with waiting too long to eat making me feel worse and then food doesn't appeal - but you will be happy to hear that it is starting to ease now so you may only have 3 or so weeks left of it, fingers crossed

My initial honest reaction was - surely you are safer (to other people) being at home rather than not being quite on the ball enough when someone needs you to make an important decision?

If work are not being difficult, take the rest and be thankful smile

excitedLJ Thu 20-Oct-11 13:40:20

take all the time you need. I was sick until 29 weeks (don't mean to alarm and hope you don't have it that long) and took earlier than planned mat leave - cannot tell you how much better I feel.

Rest, rest, rest.

StickyGhost Thu 20-Oct-11 15:06:22

I was the same up until about 10 weeks - felt like death, tired beyond belief, nauseaus all the time but not actually throwing-up (which would have been some relief); so I felt like a fraud and a wuss. Don't compare yourself to anyone else who is pregnant firstly; everyone's pregnancy is different, some have a harder time than others, who, annoyingly, seem to sail through glowing and blossoming. Try to get as much rest as you can, don't push yourself, and don't feel guilty; being pregnant is bloody hard, and crap sometimes! Things will likely improve when you reach around 12 weeks/2nd trimester, until then take it easy, cut down on your working hours if you can, use a bit of holiday and let yourself be looked after by your DP. I honestly found the first 10 weeks of being pregnant the hardest, it was hell, but promise it does get better.

lalabaloo Fri 21-Oct-11 15:09:55

You are not being a wimp but I totally sympathise, I have had to take time of work due to my sickness (now 11 weeks pregnant) and I have felt awful about it as I don't usually have time off. You can't help it, and ignore other people, even those who have been pregnant have no idea how you feel. I felt a bit like some people think I am over-reacting, but have now got to the point where I don't care. Like my lovely manager told me, the baby is the most important thing, take it a day at a time and don't force your body to do anything you don't think it can cope with, your baby is too precious

Broodzilla Fri 21-Oct-11 19:13:38

Every pregnancy is different, as others have said. If YOU feel rubbish, that's how you feel. Some sail through it, others get hospitalised for HE. Nothing to do with coping, it's different circumstances!

When I was pregnant with DS, it hit me at pretty much 4 weeks. I felt awful: like you, was only sick a few times a week... But I felt horribly nauseous 24/7, sometimes just talking would make me gag... The only time I felt ok was when I was asleep. Needless to say, it rendered me useless for quite some time. (It did ease up a bit at 20 something weeks.)

Like you, I felt guilty and like I was being a fraud. I was worried about TTC again, but you know what? I'm 26 weeks with DD and apart from one week when I actually caught a bug, I've worked throughout, and with the commute have been out 7AM - 5PM. I also have a toddler to look after at home, so no chance to rest up in the evenings/weekends. Why? Because I'm lucky enough to have had a totally different experience this time around. I've been tired, yes... absolutely knackered. But there's a remedy for that: sleep. I've been nauseous too, but NOTHING like last time. More like a low-level hangover than the debilitating all-consuming nausea I had last time.

When I was pregnant with DS, I had someone tell me they "were too busy being a mum to suffer from morning sickness", someone else tell me "you just have to get on with it"... All of which made me feel really bad about being so rubbish at being pregnant. I now know that those people had NO idea how pregnancy really can be like an illness.

I'm sorry I've written an essay, it's just that I really feel for you and the last thing you need is to feel guilty or like you're being a wimp.

Rest, take it easy, breathe.... One day at a time, you're closer to feeling fine again. Other people may have been pregnant, and coped "better" - but chances are they really weren't feeling like you are.

Cutelittlecatlover Fri 21-Oct-11 22:31:15

Oh you poor thing, please listen to your dh and take plenty of rest.

When I was pg with dc1 I felt occasional waves of nausea and was sick a few times but managed to work and coped fine. This time (dc2) I've had pretty much constant nausea and felt awful. I'm a sahm now and have had to call in lots of favours to make sure ds is cared for because sometimes I can't do anything sad

I'm 16 weeks now and have been feeling ok for the last few days thankfully so I'm hoping its passed now. It will get better even though it feels like it never will but you do need to take care of yourself in the meantime.

griphook Fri 21-Oct-11 22:37:26

you poor thing, you must take as much time as you need. I never suffered with morning sickness with first pg but this time I feel like shit. Am 15 weeks and hae never felt so lazy. Only work part time so can just about manage but after ds goes to bed I just lay on the sofa feeling sorry for myself.

The sickness has started to get better and it will for you aswell. If people tell you that pregnancy isn't an illness tell that you know but that but it can make you very ill.

sharond101 Sat 22-Oct-11 13:29:34

Thank you all for the reassurance. I felt better for a couple of days and panicked that something was wrong. Today the nausea is back with a vengeance and even looking at this screen makes me queasy. Having a few days respite, albeit very worrying days, has shown me how rotten I feel and will take it easy and rest up, I don't have any other option. Being upright makes the room spin and I see stars!

Meglet Sat 22-Oct-11 13:34:13

You're not being a wimp, if you feel crap there's no harm in taking it easy.

I had a few days off with nausea / tiredness with DC1. I was either in bed or flat out on the sofa, couldn't really watch TV as my head was too spinny. Was ok by 12 weeks and bouncing about at the gym again, but those first couple of months were a bit grim.

charlatan Sat 22-Oct-11 13:53:30

You really aren't being a wimp. I was Nauseous with DC1 and severely sick (Hyperemis) with DC2 and off work for 2 months until it got a bit better. I really couldn't function at all and it would have been dangerous for me to do my job. I can honestly say I would rather give birth every day than feel the way I did for those 2 months!

Halgirl Mon 24-Oct-11 16:47:46

you are not a wimp and you are not over reacting. I was signed off for 6 weeks with morning sickness. Got so bad that I couldn't keep water down and my gp said it was either stay off work or she would get me admitted to hospital. as a PE teacher my job is physical and I could not do it! You have to listen to your body for your sake and the baby's sake. Take as much time as you need. My sickness has never really gone, but it became a bit more bearable, but work has been tough. Hope it gets better for you.

annekins Mon 24-Oct-11 19:14:20

Ooh it annoys me how competitive some people can be with pregnancy!! No matter how many times you mutter under your breath that all pregnancies are different, it just gets under your skin and winds you up so you start to feel like you're a big wuss!

I struggled with all day and all night sickness until 20 weeks (fingers crossed yours passed soon though), no vomiting, and had to take time off work..I did feel a little bit stupid but at the end of the day I just couldn't function as a human being sometimes!

I'm now 30 weeks, and getting the 'ooh, are you sure you should still be here' versus the 'I didn't go on maternity leave until the day before my due date and I had my baby the next day' stories. GAAAH. I dread going to the printer now!

Your body really will tell you what you need to do..if it says stay at home and rest then do it!!!

piaf78 Wed 26-Oct-11 12:23:16

I have just read this thread and it has made me feel so much better, mentally, if not physically!
I am feeling exactly the same just really queasy all the time, absolutely knackered and if I eat anything then I get vicious heartburn and if I don't I feel even more sick - it is RUBBISH.
I am also feeling guilty because I feel like I am losing my gratitude for a much wanted pregnancy but I never felt at all unwell with my son (now 4) and just wasn't expecting this. I never realised how lucky I was last time, I'm also aware that lots of people have much worse morning sickness symptoms than this but it is really getting me down tbh. I just have NO energy and NO appetite and I feel crappy all the time - I'm glad it's not just me (well I'm not glad anyone else is suffering but you know what I mean).
So thank you for posting this and I hope you feel better soon....

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