Explaining Mummy's pregnant (to a 2 year old)(14 Posts)
I am just a few weeks pregnant, and once I am past 12 weeks, DH and I plan to tell DS (2.5).
Can anyone recommend a good book explaining Mummy's pregnant?
I am nearly 37 weeks and only last week bought Waiting for Baby and My New Baby to read to my 2 year old DS. They both pose quite a lot of questions to talk about with your toddler and have good pictures.
I don't think there's a lot of point in talking about it too early with a 2 year old though, as in their little lives it's a very long wait and they won't really understand or be that interested! We didn't bother saying anything until I had a considerable bump, and as I say, only recently bought a couple of books to help explain.
I've heard good things about this one too There's a House Inside My Mummy but haven't read it myself.
My dcs adore "there's a house inside my mummy", Ds was not quite 2 when dd was born and though we read it to him I'm not sure how mcuh he took in but dd is 2.9 and insists on reading it every night before bed, she knows there is a baby in my tummy, she kisses it and strokes it and sometimes sticks her hand down my top, pulls out the baby and eats it so that she has a baby in her tummy .
We had to tell DS 2.8 fairly early on as he is always jumping about/climbing etc and i had to explain why he had to be careful with my tummy, so he knows and says "baby in there" pointing to my tummy.
I have just ordered the books 2scompany suggested to read to him
My DD is 2.3 and I am 39 weeks ... We had Theres a House Inside My Mummy and Topsy & Tim & the New Baby - both good.
I think it only becomes real to them when you have a really big bump. My DD is quite clued up about it all now but two close friends have just had babies so we have watched their bumps get bigger and then produce a baby - that really helped her understanding!
They quickly learn to be careful about bouncing on your bump - my DD is really affectionate with it, she knows its a boy baby and now we've got all the kit out she understands that he is going to be sleeping in his little basket when he comes out and that all the tiny babygrows are for him when he comes out. Its very sweet (tho I am sure once he is here and the reality hits, we will have to stop her slying thumping him!)
My 25 months old son isn't really interested of the whole thing. And I truly believe he's way too young to understand.
I've been trying to tell him that I have a baby in tummy but he's just more interested of my belly button
DS was 2.4 when I got pg with DC2 (38 wks now, he is 3.1).
He picked up a lot of what DH and I were saying. Although we didn't tell him about the baby, he knew - he told one of his nursery nurses one day!
So many of his peers had younger siblings by this time, he understood, and took it all in his stride.
Since the 20 week scan, we have also done lots of talking about it - as well as talking about the fact that there is a baby, we've talked about "We can do this with your new baby sister", "when the baby comes....". He is very sweet, and very protective of my bump.
We've read lots of books - our library has tonnes - the ones that stand out are:
There's a House Inside My Mummy
Zaza's baby brother (goes into life after baby comes too)
There's Going to Be a Baby (was v good, because the baby in the story comes in the autumn, as will mine).
We took him to the 20 wks scan too.
oh my goodness lucky24, I hope you like them otherwise I will feel terrible for making bad reccommendations!!
my son was a bit more than 2.5 when I became pregnant and we decided not to make a big thing of it. Around 20 weeks, when I was starting to show and we'd told all family, etc., I started just mentioning to him about the baby in mummy's tummy, and I'd point out other mummys with babies in their tummies. He's old enough now to ask questions but I thought it was a good method because it just sort of entered his consciousness without being presented as some big thing that might scare or worry him. Earlier on, I had to let him know I couldn't pick him up anymore because I was getting SPD. I just said mummy's tummy hurts or mummy's back hurts and she can't lift you anymore. At his age fortunately he could accept that.
Thanks for the recommendations. Ds loves reading, and is better at accepting things if they are explained to him (learnt from both good and bad experience!). He's seen a few bumps and babies, so he should understand a bit better hopefully. We are definately explaining it to him, and we'll do this via books, so I will order them now, and once I start to show (obvious bump), we will tell him.
Thanks so much for the recommendations.
We told ds when we found out just because of him jumping on me etc. Mainly in bed in am! He goes days without mentioning it, and then sometimes talks about it all day. He thinks it's in my bellybutton! Can't imagine he ever thinks it's coming out as it's been ages for him!!! I may look out for books when I get bump (24wk now with teeny bump but not enough for him to notice)
We have found showing them photos on the computer of themselves as babies and when I was pregnant with them, helps as over time get the gist that they were once tiny and had grown up. We also tell them that when the baby grows up they will play with them. We have told them the baby will cry a lot and sleep lots when it first arrives. I have told the older ones when there have been conversations being had around them that they were capable of understanding so that they heard it from us not picking up bits from conversations held with other people.
This is my 4th pregnancy and no. 1 will be 6 the month after the baby comes so I have always had a toddler aged child when pregnant. DS is 21 months and just this week has started to point to my tummy and say "babe" and if you ask him where the baby is he will point to my tummy (I'm now 30 weeks).
The best book we have used is Usborne First Experiences, The New Baby as it describes getting the room ready for the new baby, mummy going to hospital to have the baby and the baby coming home again.
I try not to blame the baby for me not being able to do things like lifting them. Just asking them to help me by walking instead of being carried etc. Or when tried just saying mummy didn't sleep well last night rather than saying it was because of the baby I didn't sleep well. Just so they don't get the idea lots of things are because of the baby.
We have started introducing the words "gentle touch" to DS and when around friends babies encouraging him to touch their legs and feet so he can still touch them but keep away from their faces rather than not letting them touch the baby at all.
We also put the car seat into the car about 3 weeks before the baby comes and the toddler can pick teddies to "test out" the car seat for the new baby. It seems to work well as it enforces in their heads that a change is coming soon. Someone told me to do it when expecting DC2 and I have done it each time and so have many of my friends.
My DS (26 months) LOVES babies at the moment.
I asked him if he'd like a little baby brother or sister.
He smiled and said "yes please".
So I think we're done
Thanks all, for your replies.
Fresh01 - your reply was very helpful. I have hear about the "not blaming the baby thing" before, I have also heard that the first time he meets baby, Mummy shouldn't be holding the baby, so DC1 doesn't feel rejected/pushed out. The book sounds good and the car seat thing is a really good idea, thanks.
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