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Socially acceptable?

(20 Posts)
Claire129 Mon 10-Oct-11 19:57:47

Just a quick question, is it scoially and emotionally acceptable to have 4 kids these days or is it just a no no. WOuld like to talk to people who have an opinion on this and whether I am going crazy with all these thoughts wizzing round my head :D

Kayano Mon 10-Oct-11 20:04:07

It's fine! This is just my first but there is a section for larger families! You should check it out!

Firawla Mon 10-Oct-11 20:06:40

of course it is. its not that many, like 10 or 12 where people would be a bit shocked. 4 is considered within the normal range imo (not that there is wrong with 10/12 etc but you get how i mean)

Haribojoe Mon 10-Oct-11 20:12:11

Have got 3 DS and am pregnant with DC4. I think it's a perfectly reasonable number to have. DH and I both work and are able to support our family HOWEVER I could not believe the negative responses I got when pregnant with DS3, ranging from "when are you going to stop having kids" to "I can't believe you're having another baby".

Peoples reactions did shock me and I was nervous to tell people about DC4, and then I thought sod it, we're thrilled about this baby, if they don't like it then forget them!

icooksocks Mon 10-Oct-11 20:12:28

I've just found out I'm expecting number 4, I dont think it has too many social constraints. Once you get to 6+ people start to judge I think.
But having said that you should do what makes YOU happy not other random people on the street.

grumplestilskin Mon 10-Oct-11 20:14:47

there is no socially acceptable amount. even if you have none or just one or two etc the only people who don't think you're nuts/selfish seem to be other people with the exact same amount hmm

MangoMonster Mon 10-Oct-11 20:18:54

Agree there's no socially acceptable amount. It really depends on the opinion of the person you talk to. Some people believe the world is so over populated you shouldn't have any. It depends on whether you can provide for them, financially, emotionally etc...

lollystix Mon 10-Oct-11 20:25:28

I do think I'm a bit of a freak in my work - expecting my 4th with short gaps. If I was SAHM I think people would somehow think it's more 'acceptable'.

BedHog Mon 10-Oct-11 20:31:02

I think people understand it less if you have 4 kids with less than about 18 months between each child. Then they assume you are either...
1. Mad
2. Catholic
3. Unable to use contraception properly

I don't think having 4 children in itself would be seen as strange or unacceptable. 10 maybe...

lollystix Mon 10-Oct-11 20:57:30

Bedhog - no.3 applies in my casegrin

Claire129 Tue 11-Oct-11 13:07:09

Thnaks soooo much everyone what luvly positive replies and they have made me feel so much better about the situation xxxxxx

Claire129 Tue 11-Oct-11 13:08:19

Thanks and where is this larger families section please :D

effingwotnots Tue 11-Oct-11 13:10:18

I have 3 dc's and 2 dsd's who I am full time mum to (no contact with bio mum so effectively 5 kids)

I would very much like another baby of my own. I can just imagine the reaction from my family. with my 3rd it wasn't congratulations, it was "what are you going to do.. keep it?" shock

I think it's fab. I just say, "well the ones we have so far are so perfect, I just couldn't resist!"

TimmyTimeRules Tue 11-Oct-11 13:10:46

4 out of my 5 children were born within 4 years.
I'm a number 3 as well!

Flossie2 Tue 11-Oct-11 13:40:32

Definitely acceptable! I am expecting my fourth too. What could be nicer than a large happy family with much loved children?

stillstanding Tue 11-Oct-11 13:58:02

I'm one of four and loved it - big, happy family. Fabulous. And I definitely don't think it's a no no. But I do think that people are starting to think about these things more now and that there may be a teeny tiny trend to thinking hmm about larger families ....

I speak purely anecdotally, of course. It's something that my friends and I talk about and was a big factor in DH and I deciding what to do (i would have liked 4 (like my family), thought I would have 3 as compromise but have ended up with 2). At the time we were thinking about no. 3 there was a lot of press about how sticking with two was the best thing you could do for the planet etc and it was a factor in our decision.

But quite obviously it is very much a case of each to his own and only you know what is right for your family. I also think that being "socially acceptable" is a pretty pants reason to do/not do anything (within reason naturally!)!

goodnightmoon Tue 11-Oct-11 14:01:14

i think anything up to 5 is considered ok. after that you might get some funny looks. smile

lollystix Tue 11-Oct-11 17:28:58

Look in being a parent section for larger families

scarlettsmummy2 Tue 11-Oct-11 17:31:14

yes of course it is! if you can afford to have them why wouldn't it be socially acceptable?

Claire129 Tue 11-Oct-11 21:08:56

thank you lovely ladies for the reassurance it is so nice

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