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Pregnancy

Socially acceptable?

19 replies

Claire129 · 10/10/2011 19:57

Just a quick question, is it scoially and emotionally acceptable to have 4 kids these days or is it just a no no. WOuld like to talk to people who have an opinion on this and whether I am going crazy with all these thoughts wizzing round my head :D

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Kayano · 10/10/2011 20:04

It's fine! This is just my first but there is a section for larger families! You should check it out!

Firawla · 10/10/2011 20:06

of course it is. its not that many, like 10 or 12 where people would be a bit shocked. 4 is considered within the normal range imo (not that there is wrong with 10/12 etc but you get how i mean)

Haribojoe · 10/10/2011 20:12

Have got 3 DS and am pregnant with DC4. I think it's a perfectly reasonable number to have. DH and I both work and are able to support our family HOWEVER I could not believe the negative responses I got when pregnant with DS3, ranging from "when are you going to stop having kids" to "I can't believe you're having another baby".

Peoples reactions did shock me and I was nervous to tell people about DC4, and then I thought sod it, we're thrilled about this baby, if they don't like it then forget them!

icooksocks · 10/10/2011 20:12

I've just found out I'm expecting number 4, I dont think it has too many social constraints. Once you get to 6+ people start to judge I think.
But having said that you should do what makes YOU happy not other random people on the street.

grumplestilskin · 10/10/2011 20:14

there is no socially acceptable amount. even if you have none or just one or two etc the only people who don't think you're nuts/selfish seem to be other people with the exact same amount

MangoMonster · 10/10/2011 20:18

Agree there's no socially acceptable amount. It really depends on the opinion of the person you talk to. Some people believe the world is so over populated you shouldn't have any. It depends on whether you can provide for them, financially, emotionally etc...

lollystix · 10/10/2011 20:25

I do think I'm a bit of a freak in my work - expecting my 4th with short gaps. If I was SAHM I think people would somehow think it's more 'acceptable'.

BedHog · 10/10/2011 20:31

I think people understand it less if you have 4 kids with less than about 18 months between each child. Then they assume you are either...

Mad
Catholic
Unable to use contraception properly

I don't think having 4 children in itself would be seen as strange or unacceptable. 10 maybe...

lollystix · 10/10/2011 20:57

Bedhog - no.3 applies in my case

Claire129 · 11/10/2011 13:07

Thnaks soooo much everyone what luvly positive replies and they have made me feel so much better about the situation xxxxxx

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Claire129 · 11/10/2011 13:08

Thanks and where is this larger families section please :D

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effingwotnots · 11/10/2011 13:10

I have 3 dc's and 2 dsd's who I am full time mum to (no contact with bio mum so effectively 5 kids)

I would very much like another baby of my own. I can just imagine the reaction from my family. with my 3rd it wasn't congratulations, it was "what are you going to do.. keep it?"

I think it's fab. I just say, "well the ones we have so far are so perfect, I just couldn't resist!"

TimmyTimeRules · 11/10/2011 13:10

4 out of my 5 children were born within 4 years.
I'm a number 3 as well!

Flossie2 · 11/10/2011 13:40

Definitely acceptable! I am expecting my fourth too. What could be nicer than a large happy family with much loved children?

stillstanding · 11/10/2011 13:58

I'm one of four and loved it - big, happy family. Fabulous. And I definitely don't think it's a no no. But I do think that people are starting to think about these things more now and that there may be a teeny tiny trend to thinking about larger families ....

I speak purely anecdotally, of course. It's something that my friends and I talk about and was a big factor in DH and I deciding what to do (i would have liked 4 (like my family), thought I would have 3 as compromise but have ended up with 2). At the time we were thinking about no. 3 there was a lot of press about how sticking with two was the best thing you could do for the planet etc and it was a factor in our decision.

But quite obviously it is very much a case of each to his own and only you know what is right for your family. I also think that being "socially acceptable" is a pretty pants reason to do/not do anything (within reason naturally!)!

goodnightmoon · 11/10/2011 14:01

i think anything up to 5 is considered ok. after that you might get some funny looks. :)

lollystix · 11/10/2011 17:28

Look in being a parent section for larger families

scarlettsmummy2 · 11/10/2011 17:31

yes of course it is! if you can afford to have them why wouldn't it be socially acceptable?

Claire129 · 11/10/2011 21:08

thank you lovely ladies for the reassurance it is so nice

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