home birth(22 Posts)
Ok so 5 weeks ago when I booked in with my midwife and she mentioned home birth I laughed her out of the room, I live in a terraced house with paper thin walls, Its tiny, I couldnt have a birthing pool (not that I think I actually want one) I have two dogs who everytime I so much as wimper will howl along and a relative lives next door. It was a total NO NO NO!
So roll on a few weeks and now im starting to change my mind a bit, OH is horrified at the prospect but I kind of like the idea of being on my own bed in my own house were the only germs and stuff are mine
Can anyone please give me some feedback about home birth? good and bad so I cant start maybe giving this some serious thought? I dont know if this is some sort of fantasy related hormone thing or a sensible idea
It's a great idea. Honest.
I had a home birth in a tiny flat and my neighbours swear blind they didn't hear.
Might be a good idea to see if someone can look after your dogs on the day in case they get in the way.
I didn't have a birthing pool but did use the bath for a while. Just used tens machine and the midwife brought gas and air.
It was lovely afterwards having a glass of champagne in the bath, lit by candles while DD slept. Also meant dp could be there rather than being sent home. Loved it and would definitely do it again.
Was it your first? I love the idea of a bath afterwards and my fella being able to stay around - the more I read about hospital the more I think id rather be at home thanks for that
ask me again in a few weeks time when hopefully I'll have had my home birth!!
From the very beginning I knew that I wanted a home birth, there were a lot of reasons why but partly it was due to being in my own home, with my own bathroom, my bed and only my germs!
My DH was also horrified by the idea but at no time did he try to dissuade me and I think that I've managed to calm most of his fears. He seemed to be most concerned about lack of hospital facilities but I've pointed out to him (and everyone else who's questioned me) that at home I have guaranteed one on one MW care throughout, therefore if there are any potential problems they're more likely to be spotted earlier on on the MW will always err on the side of caution.
Also if I do need to be transferred it would be about 10-15 mins in an ambulance to our local hosp. and to be honest if I needed an EMCS it would take them that long to sort out a theatre and staff even if I was already on the labour ward.
There's a home birth support squad thread around here somewhere, i'll find it in a sec. But there's a lot of us. TBH, I've never read a post (on here, I mean - there's probably dedicated forums somewhere) where someone regrets it, even where there's a transfer, although i'm sure they must be out there somewhere.
I am about the same distance away myself, in terms of the OH I thought that if I got some feedback on here I could just let him read it and then we can talk about it properly hes not unreasonable! I think the dogs can go next door and the relative can have some ear plugs
Check out Angela Horn's Homebirth site for fabulous up to date info and research.
Just had a quick look and thats a brilliant site - Im off to have a good read now, thank you
Can the relative take the dogs? Then if there's any noise the dogs are bound to drown out any noise you make from that side...
I'm due with my first in March and really want a home birth. I've always had an aversion to hospitals due to spending too long in them as a child and have always thought I'd like to have a homebirth. My midwife was very supportive and even suggested it at my booking in appointment. I've not discussed it further with her yet.
In my local area there is a homebirth support group that meet monthly in a local children's centre. Perhaps check online and see if there is somethiong similar in your area. We've not been along yet, but i've been told it's an opportunity to speak to parents who've had homebirths and ask lots of questions.
I planned a homebirth in a rented terrace. Got to pushing stage, but decided to transfer due to meconium in fluid. Neighbours did not hear anything and the home bit was so much better than the hospital bit I felt more relaxed and in control and spending the night on a delivery ward was grim.
Would definitely try for a homebirth again and so glad I laboured at home. I live near to a big women's hospital so the transfer was pretty straightforward too.
Yes, it was my first and it was all pretty relaxed really. Midwife care was excellent. They were as hands-on or off as I wanted.
You might find you get lots of students wanting to be present because they don't get much opportunity to be at a home birth but they are fine about it if you say no. I never once felt not in control of who was in my home and the MW always told me what she was doing and why and asked permission to use the bathroom to wash her hands etc.
@Anais - I got to pushing stage and decided to change my mind! it took a certain amount of persuasion to get me to push and I couldn't use the "I want to go home" line.
I dont think we could fit students in out house! thatnks everyone starting to think that this is something I might seriously explore with my midwife on my next appointment
I had a home birth with my first, in a terrace neighbour definitely heard but claimed she didn't....we heard her alarm going off for work just when we were having our first cuddles with ds and I definitely shouted louder than her alarm!!
I found so many benefits, can't wait to do it again with ds2! DP got to stay around, even help out. One to one midwife care. Own bed, bath,brews etc etc. Theres lots to think about and other people will always have positive and negative stories but people have that with hospitals too so my advice will be have a read of the info that's out there and if it suits you- go for it :D
I would like to be able to consider a home birth, but I share the OP's concerns that our tiny, not-very-soundproofed Victorian flat isn't appropriate. I think I would find disturbing the neighbours very inhibiting to my labour, and I'm not sure our knackered floorboards could support the weight of a birthing pool but I love the idea of not being in a hospital environment, as they make me tense and anxious. But as I am 39 and having my first baby, I may be considered too high a risk for a home birth anyway... Ho hum. I do envy the stories of those who've had home births.
HardCheese If you are willing to have 10-12 people sitting on your floorboards in any one room, it should be fine to support a pool. Also, you can have a homebirth even if you are high risk - it is your decision and no-one elses. Have you had a look on the homebirth site linked above? It's very good
I had a homebirth with my first and am planning it again for my second.
Absolutely no regrets, I would say just do all the research you can and make your own informed choice, don't be swayed by people who say you're selfish for having a homebirth (they clearly haven't done any research at all) and those who say their baby would have died if they'd had a homebirth (you don't know what would have happened to your birth if the situation was different, and there are plenty of stories of babies that would not have died if they'd not been born in a hospital) - choose what makes you feel safest and most confident and comfortable, then you're halfway there to having a good birth.
My big plus points were anxiety over associations with hospitals being places of death and illness, freaking out at the sound of other women in agony giving birth, having one midwife to several women rather than one on one care throughout by the same midwife, and a second joining in the later stages (as mentioned, they would get you to hospital quicker than you'd get to surgery form the ward because of prep time, and their powers of observation are not just better becaue they won't risk anything going wrong at home, but because they are there to observe you and only you), not dealing with the horrid sounding post natal wards, feeling more in control in my own surroundings, not wanting an epidural as further intervention is more likely and I'd like to avoid uneccessary major abdominal surgery if possible!
When I gave birth the pushing stage was so quick I went into shock - one midwife took care of DS, the other took care of me, calmed me down, got my showered and dressed then brought my son to me, I felt totally safe in her care.
And if at any stage during your labour you want to go to hospital, you can - unless you book in for a homebirth you don't have the same flexibility.
I gave birth in a rented terraced victorian conversion flat and plan to do the same again (both tiny two-bedders), my neighbours were all at work last time and this time we've warned them all. I'd probably ship the dogs out though (like I will be doing with my son this time!)
i had three homebirths - including my first ever baby
i can't recommend it enough - there's so much good statistical evidence to support a planned homebirth as being not only as safe as hospital- but in some ways safer (lesser risk of tears, episiotomy, c/s) so on the rational side it appeals too -
also my own experience was it was very simple - i called the midwife, they came to me...one experienced midwife who calmly waited and drank tea- i gave birth. hassle free - although for first timers there is a higher transfer rate (40%) that is mostly for pain relief and, if you think about it, were you going to hospital you would be very likely indeed to have to travel during labour!
another woman booked in for HB at the same time wound up in hospital anyway, but the community MW still attended until she delivered - though i'm not sure they would do this in all cases.
i can usually hear my next doors snoring, but in the end i didn't make noise in labour. if i had done so, it would have been very rude of them to complain...although it is important not to feel inhibited - remember there are inhibitions in a hospital wher you are not on your own territory.
as for your DH, he is not giving birth - childbirth is your show, you will be the one bringing a baby into the world. maybe remind him that this is a choice supported by your MW?
on subject of DH's, mine was dead set against it initially, now I doubt you'd find a biger male advocate! Show him the homebirth website detailed above, explain to him he needs to feel comfortable too so it's his responsibility to do some research of his own, get him involved in some yoga birth preparation classes and DEFINATELY send him off to talk to anyone you know who has had a successful and hapy homebirth (pref their DH too)
i would say my DH is totally pro-HB too, as he was born at home, and he found it much easier - dads can do so much more at a HB, get your tea, etc ...
Its been brilliant reading these, and to be fair from the minute I mentioned it to the OH he was totally 'its your choice' he had a read of these and had a look at the home birth website, and the only thing he has asked is that we have a long conversation with the midwife about it on our next appointment (which made me giggle because appointments around here are anything but long)
Its looking like I might be doing this from the comfort of my own home
Oh, and cos Im naughty Ive managed to talk OH In to a new bed and matress (just incase I get blood and stuff on the one we have, the lads got a weak stomach) always a silver lining...........
I had all three of mine in a
cheaply constructed modern terrace (small) and neighbors have said that they didn't hear me any of the times! I was worried that I would feel inhibited about making noise, but in the end, my attention was on other things! If you have a straightforward pregnancy and you are keen, I would go for it. Mine were all great, and lovely lovely lovely to have dh there the whole time (1st night in bed together of babies life was amazing). Much more comfortable and relaxing.
Join the discussion
Please login first.