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Xmas day baby ... Xmas day plans?

(28 Posts)
notlettingthefearshow Sat 08-Oct-11 22:09:35

Our first baby is due on Xmas Day. While I know it's unlikely to happen on that date, I'm dithering about what plans, if any, I can/should make for Xmas Day / week. Anyone else in the same position?

I should say that I LOVE Xmas and if it wasn't for the baby I would be having all my family over for a couple of days. My parents live about an hour's drive away, so I wouldn't want to go that far (especially in wintry conditions) from home so close to the DD.

Should I invite my parents over for Xmas day, and perhaps let them do the cooking? They would have to stay at least one night as they are older and not good at rushing / driving in the dark. It's so hard to know how I'll feel by then - I may not be bothered about seeing anyone. Some days my family do stress me out!

DH would probably be happy with just us at Xmas, but equally he knows how much I'd love to see my family and have a proper Xmas dinner (DH isn't the best of cooks), so it's my decision really. Obviously if the baby comes early, the plans will go to pot anyway, but ..! Any thoughts?

Iggly Sat 08-Oct-11 22:19:10

Your baby could also be late!

Putting aside Xmas, how much would you want your parents around with new baby? How much would they actually do as opposed to holding baby and leaving you to cook and run after them?

If I were you I'd plan for a low key Xmas - only parents over and they bring food/cook. So if anything happens you can change plansat the last minute.

I'm due our second at the beg of December so Xmas will be almost as normal for DS (2). I do remember though that when DS was born, it felt like the world had stopped and we deliberately didn't have many visitors so we had time just the three of us to get used to it!

BonzaBlue Sat 08-Oct-11 22:20:24

I would have your parents over for the day myself, as they do live an hour away should you go into labour they can still drive home when you go to hospital etc .... good luck and enjoy !

Coldcuppacoffee Sat 08-Oct-11 22:26:47

Am due a couple of days later. Business as usual for me. If i am otherwise engaged, I am sure they can make other arangements.

(what are the chances?!)

notlettingthefearshow Sat 08-Oct-11 22:28:34

Oh yes, and if baby comes early, all plans are off! Low key is the optimal word.

solidgoldbrass Sat 08-Oct-11 22:31:45

How well do your parents cope with sudden changes of plan? If they are the cheerfully adaptable, helpful sort who will be happy to arrange to come and see you on Christmas day and just cope if you go into labour midway through the starter, or if indeed you have to head for hospital on Christmas Eve without cooking anything, then invite them over. If they are likely to get cross, distressed or stress you out by flapping about whether or not the sprouts are still boiling when you are three pushes away from crowning on the kitchen floor, then tell them that much as you love them, Christmas this year is being rescheduled for after your baby has actually arrived and you are on your feet again.

pruney1977 Sat 08-Oct-11 22:41:37

I'm due 21st December and we're planning the same as usual which is my brother, sister, niece and nephew all come to stay with us over christmas. We have my parents over on christmas day. DH is cooking (he did last year as well as I was working christmas morning) and if I am otherwise engaged on christmas day, my sister is quite a good cook so they can all get on with it. I should point out everyone thinks I'm mad but this is what we've done every christmas for the last 5 years and it wouldn't seem right not to do it. Plus they all sort of look after themselves anyway plus brother and kids live in the States and kids only come every other year so really want them there to see as much of their new cousin as they can smile

YBR Sun 09-Oct-11 08:35:13

We usually walk round to close friends' for Christmas since they love having a full house. (My brother is in Saudi, BiL and FiL are ministers so work, and I avoid my parent's house 'cos it reeks of smoke.) We spend time with family some point between Christmas and New Year.
So the 'plan' is to do the same - it means we're in the right area, and if anyone will cope cheerfully with the uncertainty, they will.

One thing I could suggest is that you hold Christmas 3-4 weeks early with your family - by doing it early it makes it definitely Christmas rather than "let's visit baby"!

DuelingFanjo Sun 09-Oct-11 08:47:44

In your case, if your dh is ok with it, I would go with the invite the parents option providing they only intend to stay one night.

My son was due on 13th of Dec but arrived on 22nd and had to stay in hospital until new years eve. I spent a looong time during the pregnancy worrying about christmas as we were supposed to be going (with baby) to my MIL's rented cottage as she had flown over on my due date. In the end we made short visits (without the baby) to both sets of parents and then a lovely friend came over to cook us dinner.

So I guess I am saying, make plans but be prepared to change them. Anything can happen.

justabigdisco Sun 09-Oct-11 08:47:59

I'm due on the 20th. Every year me and DH travel 2 hours to my family for Xmas and we are planning to do the same whether baby has come or not. We would be completely looked after and wouldn't have to do a thing. Obviously if I'm actually IN labour then we won't go. If no sign of baby then we'll probably drive there on Xmas morning and stay one night. I don't want to be away from home for too long, but if I end up delivering in a different hospital it's not the end of the world! Very difficult to make plans but it seemed weird for us to just sit at home by ourselves, waiting for something to happen!

msbuggywinkle Sun 09-Oct-11 08:48:41

I'm due on the 17th with DD3, so we're planning a low key day at home. DP is in charge of re-heating m&s everything (not normal for us but no way am I cooking!) and we have told family that they are welcome to visit to see the DDs but that I will be in my pjs on the sofa and not moving.

MrsVidic Sun 09-Oct-11 08:55:50

Just a tip if travelling, look at your route and know when hospitals r on it- (you may have a v quick labour) grin

MamaMaiasaura Sun 09-Oct-11 08:56:21

My ds2 was due end dec/beginning Jan but was likely to come earlier.

Ds1 was 7 at the time and it was his last Xmas as only child and I really really wanted to give him a really special day wth all the Santa magic. Made sure I'd got all presents etc sorted well in advance just in case. Despite contracting on and off (including Xmas eve and day) our pudding stayed put till 27th.

We had a quite christmas. Just us and I cooked lunch, if was rather lovely. And I love that ds2 birthday at such a magic time of year too, he's 3 now and loves all the Christmas lights etc and knows that when tree up it's his birthday soon too.

Good luck xx

Littlepic Sun 09-Oct-11 09:15:05

I'm due 23rd December with 1st baby. I'm planning on having DM, DSF, DB and pos MIL and FIL over on Xmas day and to stay over at least one night.

I love Xmas and plan to relax on the sofa and let it happen around me! If it happens on the day I'll let them carry on with out me. smile

usingapseudonym Sun 09-Oct-11 09:51:47

If you're close to your family and they are likely to run around after you then definitely invite them - a baby will make it all the more special.

However - a warning to those thinking life will go on as usual/ you'll drive 2 hours etc do have a plan B! If you end up in labour for a couple of days you may not actually be at the house. Also if you end up with a c section you may be quite imobile when you get home and desperate to sleep. You may well have problems literally getting in and out of a car, getting out of a chair, laughing, getting in and out of bed as your stomach has been cut! You do recover from a c section and all is good but the first week can be very very hard. Actually if you labour through the night "normally" you will in all likelihood come home exhausted.

If family will step in and cook/ look after you/ let you like on the bed/couch then all good. (very good in fact - lovely to have people around to look after you!) If you are thinking you will just bounce back and sort everything out - that's a bit more unlikely, especially with a first!

NorthernChinchilla Sun 09-Oct-11 09:55:32

I was due on the 19th, but am now having an ELCs on 12th, so that's kind of sorted some of the issues. First timer, so no other DCs to worry about.

However, the plans remain the same for us. It's a bit difficult as we live 5-6 hours away from all our family, and they're not in a position to visit us (age, disability, etc). Normally we'd be up there for a week over Xmas

So- we'll be having a couple of weeks at home, just us. Am planning to stock up the freezer. DP has plans of cooking duck for Xmas day, bless him, but am seconding MrsBuggyWinkle ref just getting a load of nice grub in from M&S for the day. Not really planning to move a great deal from the sofa.

Have said to family that we'll come up and spend a week, and do an alternative Xmas at some point...the actual 'plan' is that we come up after a fortnight and I transfer onto my Mum's sofa and just feed sprog there for a week. However, everyone is briefed that we just don't know. Baby may come early; I may feel like hell for months; I may feel fine; baby may never sleep for more than 20 mns, so Xmas could be in January.

I think the key is flexibility and putting yourself and baby first, and only doing what you want to, not what others do, or what you always/should do. It's going to be an amazing time smile

IssyStark Sun 09-Oct-11 10:22:40

Our one is due on 11 Dec but no.1 was two weeks late so if this one runs the same way, we're looking at a Christmas baby.

Christmas has occupied me since I found out my due date! When ds was born on 7th Dec we completely missed Christmas dinner on Xmas day as he'd been up all night on Xmas Eve and we were both shattered so it was pressie opening, snacking on goodies and lounging in our pjs all day. We got around to cooking the bird and all the trimmings on Boxing Day.

This year ds will be five this year and will expect Xmas Day on Xmas Day so I'm currently running down our freezer stock so I can get everything made in and in the freezer. Starter will prob be smoked salmon out of a packet, puddings we're doing next weekend and will need to be reheated on the day. Instead of a roast bird, I'll do a pot roast of either a capon or pheasant, prep and par boil the roast veg so they only need to be shoved in the oven and that only leaves the sprouts (and any other leafy greens) to be prepped on the day!

Our families live several hours away so we'll be by ourselves but we always do a big 'at home' on 29th Dec (our wedding anniversary) and this year we're going to let people know it will be more low key (more shop-bought rather than home-made stuff) and I think I may just sit on the sofa with baby and hold court grin

Mum2be79 Sun 09-Oct-11 10:40:14

I'm in a similar position although I find out on 9th December (scan) if I have to have a c-section in which case it will be before Christmas.

We're not making any definite plans until then but I have said that if a c section is on the cards, family come here and THEY cook (with DH) or if it is a natural birth (due 1st Jan) we're going to the in laws as my parents live 125 miles away!

annekins Sun 09-Oct-11 11:05:23

I'm due on the 30th, so not quite the same problem, but I've left it up to my mum to sort out what's happening for far she's come up with plans A-G, varying from full on Christmas dinner and a day of fun and frivolity, via microwave curry (!) to turkey sandwiches on post natal ward! All of the options involve me absolutely nothing and sitting on my bum all day, which I am very happy with!

I was born a couple of weeks early (actually on Christmas day), and so was my sister (early that is) so I guess she's thinking that my little one will put on an early performance too!

They do say to have something nice planned for your due date so that when nothing happens, which is often the case with first ones, you don't sit round feeling sorry for yourself, so do make some plans that involve you putting your feet up and being looked after, and let your family know that it may change unexpectedly!

LikeABlackFlameCandleBNQ Sun 09-Oct-11 14:56:05

We've planned the same as every year. Dinner at my DParents on the day, spend all day there, though they only live 5 doors away so Ill probably pop home for a nap at some point. Then, Boxing Day, we visit DH's dad in the day then spend the evening at his mums. This is the bit that worries me, as itis a drive away, though not far, and DH doesnt drive. If im stil preg (due 16th so may go anywhere up to the 30th!), i wont really mind, but I dont fancy it with a newborn, just as I wont get the nap option.

Should the baby be born very close to christmas, Ill suggest DMIL and DFIL pop down inbetween xmas day and new year to visit us for a change.

Fingers and legs crossed LO will be here by xmas day as I want a BIG dinner!! cant do that with it squished up against my ribcage.

usingapseudonym Sun 09-Oct-11 18:37:09

Forgot to add on my post - baby due early December but no 1 was 2 weeks late...!

My family aren't the sort to turn up and look after me so we are just workign out if we want to have Christmas here and husband open the M and S packets or not!

newartriotstar Sun 09-Oct-11 18:44:47

My baby is due on the 27th so there is a chance that they could arrive on Christmas day. The plan so far is to have it at home by ourselves, possibly visiting my Mum and Dad on the other side of town if DP has a car sorted by then. His parents might pop over in the days leading up to or afterwards. I am wanting to do proper Christmas dinner as the leftovers and what we make from them are always epic and will see me through waiting for the baby to arrive/first few days!

Firestone Sun 09-Oct-11 19:16:06

DS was due Christmas Eve, the plan was that we'd order all the food in from M&S, my parents came down for a week but booked a holiday flat round the corner so they could disappear if we needed them to and wouldn't be there overnight.

This did all go a bit wrong when whilst trying to order the food from M&S my waters broke and I suddenly was in full on labour (family trait to have silent first stage and very rapid labours, DS took 2.5 hours from start to finish, he's lucky he isn't called Mark Spencer Firestone!

I would definitely recommend having flexible plans and sticking close to home

harassedandherbug Sun 09-Oct-11 20:13:28

I'm due with dc4 on 22nd Dec..... and I'm due to be induced on that day as I have a bad dose of spd and am taking cocodamol and on crutches. I'm hoping I can persuade them to do it a couple of days early as am terrified of being in hospital on Christmas Eve/ Day when I want to be at home with dd who's 5 (other two are grown up).

Whatever happens, I don't want anyone at ours! We may go to my parents for dinner, but we'll see. We might just want to be at home on our own.

Fresh01 Sun 09-Oct-11 20:27:22

I agree with the flexible plans option. If travelling an hour or more from home put your hospital bag and car seat in the car boot, just in case. I am due with no. 4 on 23rd Dec. Eldest of existing 3 will be 6 in Jan so oldest 2 very into Santa, no. 3 is nearly 2 so doesn't care : )

DH and I have discussed what happens if it arrives on x-mas day. My mum would be called to come here to look after the children so we think they would be allowed to pick 2 santa presents to open and play with and the rest would have to wait till mummy came home again. We really don't want miss them opening their presents and our local hospital now has a 7 hour discharge policy for mums having a natural delivery with no complications.....

My sister-in-law said last night she will do Christmas dinner (there are 20 of us all up), she and I alternate years and it is her turn anyway : ) They live at the other end of our street so the aim will be to head there for x-mas dinner around midday with or without the new arrival if it is late.

We normally head away, 2.5hour ferry and 3 hour drive for New Years with husbands family for 4 days. We have said we are not going this year, no. 3 was a week early so thinking this one won't be late. It is not the actual travelling that put us off but all the packing and unpacking when I will spending hours sitting breast-feeding and wanting to spend any "spare" time sleeping and playing with the other kids.

In those first few days you won't want to "host" any visitors so if people are staying make sure they are the sort of visitor who will pitch in and help with cooking and cleaning.

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