I am 25 weeks pregnant tomorrow with my first baby - a baby DH and I desperately want and spent over a year trying for - and I'm completely terrified. I'm so happy to be pregnant, but the thought that in about three months time I'm going to be responsible for a tiny, vulnerable little person induces instant panic.
DH is being uncharacteristically calm about the prospect - a good thing, I know, but it means he really doesn't understand and thinks I'm being neurotic (and I probably am - I couldn't even say what I'm scared of, I'm just generally scared of everything). My mum just laughs at me and tells me I'm going to be fine. I'm the first of my friends to get pregnant, so they're no help.
I'm a 33 year old professional, btw, in an ideal position in every way to start a family - there's no logical reason for feeling this way. I'm just scared I'm not up to the job. I can't even read up and do research on what to expect, because the more I learn, the more I panic. The whole thing just seems so overwhelming.
I want to stress again that I desperately want this baby. I suppose I'm just scared I'm not going to be good enough for her.
Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?!
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Why does no-one understand how absolutely terrified I am?!
30 replies
Jennyrosity · 08/10/2011 17:47
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