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Just found out I'm pregnant with twins and DD will be 18-19 months at delivery...

(34 Posts)
dreamfeeder Thu 06-Oct-11 16:23:51

While I'm getting more and more excited about it the longer I have for it to sink in (had my 12 week scan this morning and both babies bang on dates) I'm also getting a bit worried. Anyone else had a similar gap and then had twins?!? How was it?

dreamfeeder Thu 06-Oct-11 16:25:28

also, how were your babies born ( I had third degree tear with DD), and were they premature? I work with SN children and see loads of twins and am probably biased the wrong way but I'm a bit worried about all the tihngs that could possibly but hopefully won't go wrong...

themightyskim Thu 06-Oct-11 16:48:02

No experience myself but my close friend has twins due in three months, she is going to have a CS because one is breech so they dont think she can deliever naturally but other than that they have scanned very closely due to a previous pregnancy complication and everything is going really well - congratulations, hard work but very very rewarding smile

themightyskim Thu 06-Oct-11 16:48:27

oh PS they are delivering at 38 weeks but not sure what the reasoning is there

Sandra2011 Thu 06-Oct-11 17:10:27

Wow. Sounds like you're going to be a very busy lady then smile

Congratulations!

silverangel Thu 06-Oct-11 17:45:37

Congratulations! YOu are going to be very very busy! I have twins but no other children.

Re delivery - it really depends what sort of twins they are - did they tell you at your scan? Mine are ID and my hospital always delivers ID by section and I wouldnt have been allowed to go past 36 weeks. In the end I had an emergency section at 31 weeks because of other complications. If they're non ID they will often let you go as close to term as poss and deliver naturally if correct presentation.

BikeRunSki Thu 06-Oct-11 17:58:00

Friend of mine did it the other way round. Twins first, then a singleton when they were 17 months old. All were CS.

She said that the twins were actually easier babies as they always kept each other company. When they were tiny they used to cuddle up in the same Moses basket. On a practical note she was rushed off her feet with 3 under 2 - lots of washing, nappies, feeding and counts herself lucky that her DH was made redundant shortly before her third was born! Her advice would be:

Get an online shopping a/c
Get a tumble dryer
Get a big car
Don't get a triplet pram - far too unwieldy. Get a decent twin buggy/pram and a backpack for your older child.
Don't turn down any single offer of baby clothes or equipment.
If you can afford it, get a cleaner (she couldn't)
Join TAMBA
Find out what your Surestart centre has on - hers had a Multiple birth support group.

BagofHolly Thu 06-Oct-11 17:59:53

I have non identical twins and my oldest was 20 months when they were born. I love every atom of all of them, but it's been hell. My twins have severe reflux and that's been the confounding factor I suppose. If I was to go back in time I'd:

- sort out a night nanny early on. We found a childminder who was happy to do nights at £10/hr and it saved at least some of my sanity.

- make sure your car takes 3 car seats

- get a triple pram - even if your elder child can walk/stand on a buggyboard you don't want to be legging after them. We got the ABC Adventure triple via TAMBA and it was the best £400 I've spent.

- recruit as much REGULAR help as you can - eg someone who will take the twins for a walk on a Monday morning etc. Get them scheduled in. It gives you a break and gives the day structure.

- find a reliable baby sitter and get them to
Babysit one night a week for a couple of hours so you and your husband get some alone time out of the house. This is my most important tip!

- feel free to say no to things. Sometimes it's just too hard to get our with all 3. I've turned down family summons which I'd never have dared to do, but I just said "sorry, it's too hard!" Quite empowering!

I absolutely don't have all the answers and we rely very heavily on my parents.

As for delivery I had ELCS at 36 weeks because they were gigantic and I had a lot of fluid. They were 6-7 and 7-1 so I think I would have burst if I'd gone much longer. It was painless, they were absolutely fine.

V best of luck!

xkatyx Thu 06-Oct-11 18:38:31

I'm pregnant with ID twins and have a 9 month old.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant.
Now it's sunk in I'm ok and u will cope that's what I say to myself.

I have Been told I'm having a c-section because they are ID

hells1908 Thu 06-Oct-11 18:45:51

Come on over to the twins ante natal club thread smile

And bike and bag am cutting and pasting your tips for my DP!!! Correction - for DP to pass onto friends eg last night, curry with his BF, she turns to me 'with all the time off, why don't you guys move into a house to do up or something, you could make a killing on a project like that...'

God I was restrained ;)

dreamfeeder Thu 06-Oct-11 19:53:43

Thank you all so much for replying, I feel a bit reassured already. Feel pleased to have a genuine cause for the mega-puking, exhaustion and hugeness already, despite my dumping half a stone, through said puking...

I think all the advice sounds really sensible, thanks holly and bikerunski (sigh, when will I next ski now?!). I have already MADE dh listen to both the lists grin

Might just come and check out the twins antenatal thread.

jassinkernow Thu 06-Oct-11 21:06:06

Congratulations. I have a 19 month gap between DD1 and my boy/girl DTs. DTs have just turned three and life with the 3 of them is hectic, but brilliant fun.
The first year or so was incredibly hard work (DS was colicky/refluxy/generally a bit difficult and is asthmatic), but after that we really started to see the benefits of having a little 'pack' of close in age children - they really love each others' company and do entertain and care about each other.
DTs were born at 38wks by planned CS (as breech). They were 6lb6 and 6lb2, both fine, discharged after 48hrs (I was the limiting factor, not the babies). Recovery from the section was fine.
Holly's tips about surviving early life with twins look spot on to me.
I managed with a double buggy and sling/double buggy and DD1 walking as they got bigger.
We weren't used to accepting lots of help from people, but quickly realised this would have to change and gratefully took anything that was offered. Practical help - provision of food for you/your eldest/taking the twins out/taking your eldest out - makes life a lot easier.
I used to give DD1 her main meal at lunchtime. With a colicky baby (and a twin sister who was pretty easy going but would have liked to be picked up occasionally), it was all I could do to get a bit of toast done for her at tea time.
We threw as much money as we could at getting through the first year - for us this meant getting a cleaner for that year/lots of takeaways/M&S meals/nice meals out whenever we had babysitters/babysitters. We got shopping delivered (with the unexpected bonus that my kids all love going to the supermarket now because they seem to have decided it's a treat).
The first year of twins and a toddler was absolutely the most tiring and difficult time of my life, but even in that there were some amazing moments. There is something just so special about having twins, and there is something very lovely about having three small children too. Congratulations, and good luck!!

BikeRunSki Thu 06-Oct-11 21:15:14

Dreamfeeder Well, DS is 3. We went skiing at great expense when he was 18 months old. I hated leaving him in Chalet nursery. I suspect we won't be going again for a while, even if we won the lottery. At 37 wks pg, I havn't biked or run for a while either.

harrygracejessica Thu 06-Oct-11 21:19:38

Only on my phone so can't type much. My son was 15 months when my twin girls came along at 33 weeks. They were in scbu for 20 days.

Get a tumble driar lol
look at an abc everest buggy - best invention ever (toddler seat on the top)

I have no help apart from OH and when the girls were 2 and eldest just turned 4 I had twin boys so 5 kids in 4year 1month!!! It's tiring but I wouldn't change it :-)

BagofHolly Thu 06-Oct-11 22:21:29

HGJ whenever I'm having a tough time I think of you! x

dreamfeeder Fri 07-Oct-11 12:13:59

jassinkernow thanks so much for your post, that's really encouraging. Especially if I can repeat to myself like a mantra 'this will be better in a year or so' in a manic fashion once they arrive!!! I'd love a girl and a boy. Not sure whether we'll find out yet though, or wait til they arrive.

harrygracejessica, omg!! you are clearly superhuman! Are your girls identical then? Second suggestion on here for that buggy, needs definite consideration!

I have an unreliable tumbledryer. That's one off the list. The thought of the expense is scaring the hell out of me- we need a new big car, 2 new car seats (DD's baby seat was thrid hand anyway from her cousins and I am no longer happy with it safety wise anyway, plus not ISOfix and I want as easy a life as possible). At 18 months, is DD too young to go into a bed when twins arrive? or we'll need 2 new cots... We bought nothing for her, everything is hand-me-down, but that is not going to be an option for these 2!

SachaF Fri 07-Oct-11 13:05:26

Depending on their size, do you need 2 cots to start with or could they share? (don't have twins but do have the close age gap and understand not wanting to buy excess stuff when your eldest will be too big for stuff soon). that way you could buy maybe a cot bed ( bigger than a cot), and when dd is old enough to understand not getting out of bed, you can use a mattress on the floor before progressing to a bed if it is too high for her, then you end up with 2 cots when your twins need separate cots.
Look out for your local NCT nearly new sale - bargains galore! Loads of cheap baby clothes and usually a few cots etc. Double buggy not so likely tho....
We went on a ski holiday when ds was 3 and dd was 1.5. I got two hours of skiing in in 4 days, and lots of nursery slope time with ds. We did do a lovely winter walk too (no creche in resort).
We're going to try skiing again now they are 3 and 4 - ski lessons in the morning for them ( and a chance for us to ski) and videos / swimming pool/ colouring etc in the afternoon, fingers crossed it'll work! An example of it definately does get easier in some respects!
There's a volunteer charity where people can come out to your house on a regular weekly basis to help with the kids - anyone know more?
Good luck! I'm sure you'll love it even tho you'll be knackered!

dreamfeeder Fri 07-Oct-11 16:24:26

Good idea about cot sharing in a cot bed sacha, I'd never thought of that! Will definitely find a few nearly new sales too- for small baby stuff, we made do with about 5 babygro's and 5 vests in the smallest size she had- not going to cut it with 2 I reckon!

BagofHolly Fri 07-Oct-11 19:30:43

My two were in the same cot, which was bolted onto the side of the bed. That arrangement didn't last as we all ended up in separate rooms with a twin each to get some sleep! But that was cos of reflux not because they wouldn't fit!

I bought TinyBaby sized babygros from Tesco and then boiled and tumble dried them to shrink a bit. My twins grew really quickly though and were soon in ordinary sized clothes for their age.

And the charity is Homestart - the HV does the referral and it used to be automatic if you had a multiple birth but nowadays there has to be an extra factor putting strain on the family. In our case it was having 3 under 2 and the twins being so ill. And for all that, I got help for 2 hours a week. It's amazing the number of people that think that if you have a multiple birth you get automatic help and loads of it. Sadly that's not the case. It's worth asking your HV though. My HV is a star and has been excellent and really supportive - lots of home visits, sorting out prescriptions etc.

Oh yeah, another tip! Buy another kettle! Just when you want to use cooled water someone has always just boiled it!

dreamfeeder Fri 07-Oct-11 21:04:34

Thanks Holly. I am having total panics about everything today, from how we will manage the finances to problems with the babies in pregnancy/ delivery. Not helped as I tried to come off my anti-emetics and have done nothing but puke for the last 3 days, and am hungry and thirsty (back on full dose now but not managing to eat much yet) Also, DD keeps getting up at midnight ish and not going back into her cot... I tried and tried and tried last night and gave up at 2:45am as I was too tired to keep running back and forth trying to get her back in her cot and propped myself up in the spare bed with her on my chest (the only position she'd consider going back to sleep in) pondering how on earth I'd cope with 2 more!!!!! Yes, DD had about 5 New Baby (up to 7.8lb) babygro's but she was out of them in 10 days and that wouldn't do 2.

I take it you bottle fed then? DD was EBF, but not sure how practical that'd be??!

And I'm amazed you didn't get the referral for having 3 under 2, with 2 being twins and had to have ill twins too- quite shocked at that!

BagofHolly Fri 07-Oct-11 22:57:20

I breastfed, and expressed and topped up with formula but one baby had a really poor latch - we think he had a tongue tie and his reflux was so awful he threw up everything he got. Gallons. The entire feed would come back up and then I'd have to top up with formula. The whole Stimulus-Response thing to increase milk supply works well but not if you're having to feed the baby twice cos the first feed is all over the floor. My other baby has what we now know to be CMPI - cows milk protein intolerance, so he'd feed quite well and then fuss and cry because the milk cane back up his thrust and burnt him. Once we had seen a paediatrician everything changed as they were both put on prescription formula - one has one that's super thick and solidifies in the rum so he doesn't throw up as much, and the other is entirely milk free, plus tons of drugs. I did my best - I fed them both plus expressing like mad for seven weeks but it wasn't to be. I'm sad about it - I fed my first child for 13 months and thought we'd be fine, but no, seven weeks is all I managed. That's not to say it's impossible - it isn't, but I think any additional pressures can really take their toll.

I totally get what you're going through with your daughter! Twin pregnancy plus a sleepless toddler is the most tired it's possible to be! My boy's sleep went off when i was pregnant and didn't sort itself till the twins were about 12 weeks. Don't know what to suggest, but I really feel for you!

jassinkernow Sat 08-Oct-11 09:37:41

Hi again dreamfeeder. Have you thought about freecycle for cots etc? They're always coming up on the one here and I've given away highchairs etc through it it the past.
We had our twins in the same cot until they were about 4 months, and moved DD1 into a bed just before she was 2, so managed with 2 cots.
I mostly breastfed the twins, they had one bottle feed (formula) in the evening so I could put DD1 to bed sometimes. And one night a week I slept in a different room and DH gave them a bottle in the night so I could get some uninterrrupted sleep. That said, I've always been lucky with breastfeeding and found it easy, I definitely tried to prepare myself for the fact it might not work out as easily as it did with DD1.
Hope that helps a bit, if you think of anything will try and answer. And try not to worry (ha! - if only that were easy)

dreamfeeder Sat 08-Oct-11 17:19:37

No I haven't jassinkerow. Is there a freecycle in every area? How do I access it? I will head off and google... My biggest paranoia panicworry is them both arriving healthy!

also, can I ask a quick just-googling-things-I-don't know question??

My sonographer said she thought the babies were non-identical. She has put on the printed scan sheet attached to my green notes 'probably dichorionic/diamniotic'. I have just logged onto the NHS twin part of the site, and now see that 1/3 of identical twins are DCDA. Not trusting her 'I think' and 'Probably' quite so much now... I also don't have another scan booked until 20 weeks, but the NHS website recommends every four weeks for DCDA twins (if that's definitely what my babies are). Is that for after 20 weeks, or from when twins are identified?

I am slightly concerned about this, because we are using the hospital trust that has been in the news recently (certainly round here) for having a Red Alert for maternity services i.e. dangerous standards of care. I think it is worse in the other hospital in the trust (there are only 2- University Hospitals of Morecambe Bay) I want to make sure my babies get everything they need!

Can I ask you ladies for your experience and advice on this?!? What care did you have with your babies regarding scans and appointments? Is my fear of something terrible happening as it's a twin pregnancy normal or a bit OTT!?

I will also ask my midwife when I see her on Tuesday, but she is older and, ahem, very slightly fierce.

Thank you!

whackamole Sat 08-Oct-11 20:03:10

I have 2.8 year old ID twins and am expecting another in 2 weeks.

Just on the birth perspective, we had a scan which turned out to be at 9 weeks, they then scanned 2 weeks later to be sure they were ID. I would push for another scan before 20 weeks, at our hospital you are under consultant care if they are ID due to risk of TTTS (please don't google this! Wait till hospital talk to you about it. It is only something that affects identicals).

I was very closely monitored, at one point on weekly scans and was on fortnightly scans when I delivered. I was induced and had my boys at 36 weeks exactly, I did have an epidural - I wanted one but it was also on their recommendation (just in case!) - but in the end they were delivered very easily vaginally. They needed no special care at all, I was home in 3 days and they have no problems at all.

In terms of what you need, as others have said accept anything and everything you can get! Get onto Freecycle if you can - we got a bouncy chair, swingy chair, loads of clothes and even nappies!

Where abouts are you BTW? Are you actually in Morcambe Bay? I was looked after at Liverpool Women's Hospital and I really couldn't fault the care I had. I was looked after so well.

dreamfeeder Sat 08-Oct-11 20:39:29

We're a bit north of Lancaster whackamole. I do hear lovely things about Liverpool Women's but just too far!!

The birth sounds great, well done you!! I'm apprehensive anyway because of DD's birth and will be led by the consultant's advice. I will certainly ask the mw about another scan before 20 weeks to re-check if ID or not. Not sure if I'll get it!!!

I had a very bad epidural experience with my first too- a lovely consulatnt came to do it, said 'oh yes, nice slim back, should get some relief within 30 min', then 45 min of sciatic nerve hitting agony later said he didn't think he could do it, did I want one last try- after 18 hours, no dilation and another 12 to try before a section, I did!! He finally got it in, but I had 5 months of back pain afterwards... I am wary now, but never say never, could try again. For my third degree tear repair they didn't dare try and do a spinal because of the difficulty getting the epidural in, so topped up my epidural which had worn off, but I had some patchy pain relief for parts of the stitching... That's why I'm consultant-led for this pregnancy anyway.

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