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dreading telling my work i'm pg, they don't handle these things very well. Any suggestions,

(16 Posts)
griphook Wed 05-Oct-11 22:53:38

Work for a very small team. 2 part time people,1 full time. I already feel that my boss is resentful of the fact that i'm part time. Any way, I'm 12 weeks and have just had my scan, so feel that in the next couple of weeks I should tell her....
But, someone who was about to start work with us on a perm basis, who had been working with us as a temp for a few weeks happily told my boss she was pg and my boss then refused to give her her contract, and basically wouldn't use her anymore. Afterwards she kept saying that it was a good thing she had found out about it beforehand she gave her the contract as pg women take off too much time for sicknes and appointments.

I was thinking of texting my boss or emailing her to tell her as I can't deal with her.

Tell her face to face
Squeeze a congratulations out of her
Know your rights!

(And join the assertiveness thread, if you need to smile - it's kind of helping me)

and Congratulations grin

griphook Wed 05-Oct-11 22:56:59

well that cheered me up,

I could skype her grin

is there really an assertiveness thread??

I politely and with much checking that it was OK with everyone hijacked a thread and asked that it be turned into a general assertiveness tips thread. I actually think it died a death - everyone was too polite to post on it grin
I might have to start another.

Seriously, they do need to get a grip. People have babies, so it's bound to happen if you emply people rather than robots.

griphook Wed 05-Oct-11 23:03:38

I think that you might have to start a new one, to push people like me not to act like a coward.

notlettingthefearshow Wed 05-Oct-11 23:21:14

Congrats! poor you feeling nervous. I think you definitely have to tell her in person - you will have to face her at some point and it will be harder if you chicken out - she will almost certainly ask to see you anyway. Make an appointment with her so that she has some time put aside. This will also give her time to imagine what you are going to say and prepare a polite response!

It sounds like your boss won't be overly supportive but she still has to stick to the law re letting you go to appointments and the like. Make sure you read up beforehand and know your rights about time off and maternity leave. I'm assuming there's no HR dept so if there's nothing in your contract just check what the statutory is. Are you planning to go back afterwards?

Since you are part time, the appointments may not interfere with working hours that much - it probably depends on your hours, where your hospital/doctor is.

Good luck! Give an update when you've told the witch!

georgethecat Thu 06-Oct-11 07:13:26

Tough, she just needs to deal with it and be supportive, you have rights in the workplace. Make sure you are prepped with what your rights are - your workplace policies/national rights/ your contract. It may make you feel more confident.

Remember its only for a time limited period and you are contributing to society instead of what some bosses think (the drain on society & the workplace approach).

Seek support from a HR dept if you have one. Also on the other side your boss may have just made a throwaway comment if your team is stressed, if you are valued team member she may be more supportive than you imagine.

Happy to help with rights issues/ assertiveness if it will help smile

K xxx

LoveBeingAMummyAgain Thu 06-Oct-11 07:22:14

IMO how you tell her will set the tone for your relationship whilst you are pregnant, apoligse and be meek and mild and you will spend the next 6 months like that. Be bold and confident and know what she's like and you can gain the upper hand.

Ps congrats

KatyN Thu 06-Oct-11 07:30:59

I'm going to say exactly the opposite of the above poster.
My boss actually said 'oh why do we employ women' when i told him I was pg!!! But since the initial shock he's been really supportive and fabulous.

Don't put too much pressure on the first time you talk to her.. you've had quite a while to think about things and will have an idea of how you want thngs to work. give her the headline and then arrange to meet again in a few days when she's got the legal side swotted up


Mondayschild78 Thu 06-Oct-11 09:33:05

Congratulations! You are well protected legally so try and remember this and be confident when you give your news, agree face-to-face is best. You might find this booklet helpful which clearly outlines what you need to do and your rights and also what your employer is legally obliged to do:

Good luck!

griphook Thu 06-Oct-11 21:27:21

thanks everyone, really appreciate the responses.

GreenandBlacksAddict Sun 09-Oct-11 15:31:57

Hi I can understand both sides as I am pregnant 12 weeks and also I ran a small business. From your boss's perspective she will have to find someone to cover your hours which either means taking on someone else (its hard to find anyone who just wants a job for 6 months- though I guess at the moment there will be no shortage of candidates and she will have to train them to your standard. I would tell her face to face, its possibly not going to count officially if you text it or email it. She cannot say diddlysquat to you other that anything nice or else you can telephone ACAS and start a tribunal ! The law is very clear on the rights of a pregnant woman. I would recommend looking at as this gives clear advice on your rights, your employers rights and timescales for notice etc I would tell her that you understand it will cause some extra work for her and that you will happily help train any replacement and that you will give her appropriate notice for when you wish to take maternity leave, you may also wish to tell her that you intend to return to your usual position and hours after your maternity leave finishes. This stops the uncertainty that she will have and if you change your mind after the birth then so be it, its not written in stone ! I liked to go back to work for 2 days a week after the birth of my son so that I could speak to some adults - I couldn't stand daytime TV Diagnosis Murder and Jeremy Kyle rot the brain !!

Savannahrose Tue 11-Oct-11 16:57:50


I am currently on mat leave was signed off sick at 5 months preg due to bulking at work because I was preg. I am due to go back on April 11th 2012 but baby no 2 due April 6th 2012 how do you think I'm feeling!! Lol

Savannahrose Tue 11-Oct-11 16:58:24


dilbertina Tue 11-Oct-11 17:19:57

Cogratulations! I was nervous about telling my boss about number one, got even worse with numbers 2 and 3....similiar small team set-up. I know my boss was a bit pissed off because of the additional stress it would place on everyone, but he wasn't pissed off with me (well, not much!). He's not stupid however and knows that it's tough really! He managed to squeeze out a "congratulations" every time - although I did hear him banging his head on desk after I left the room the 3rd time!

My advice would be to get on and tell them. Unless they are very stupid they know they can't treat you less favourably because of it.

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