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pregnancy and work stuff, am I being a wimp :) ?

(10 Posts)
georgethecat Sun 02-Oct-11 20:14:26

Hi all 19 weeks here with my first, just finding work really hard at the mo, feeling really stressed out at the slightest thing, my anxiety about stuff has cranked up since being pregnant - meetings, travelling etc.
If I wasn't pregnant I would 'suck it up' and face my fears but there is part of me that wants to take it easy avoid stressing out my bean and is saying give yourself a break you've worked hard for 12 years.
I can delegate and ask for help but worry that I will lose confidence in doing stuff, will piss people off at work and am being a bit of a wimp, 'pregnancy isnt an illness' etc.
Also could just be overthinking this whole thing smile and stressing bout nothing.
Anyone in the same boat?

crazyhead Sun 02-Oct-11 20:48:12

Hello there - I'm 34 weeks, and at around 23 weeks I just felt exhausted at work and had to rein back a bit. I was terrified that this was it - pregnancy was just going to get more knackering and I'd never work anywhere near the due date. Anyway, it has got a lot better bar the odd tiring week - I'm now due to work until 38 weeks.

What I spose I'm saying is that you don't necessarily need to make big statements to your work about adjustments 'from now on', maybe just say that you are feeling really exhausted for now. It doesn't make sense for you to get ill

Oeisha Sun 02-Oct-11 21:08:50

Pregnancy isn't an illness, no, but it is a bloody good reason why you should be delegating and relaxing. The last thing they need is you being signed-off because your BPs rocketed, or you develop PGP because you're pushing your body too hard, or you're feinting, or you have an accident due to tiredness/trying to do a task you could usually do, but should be avoiding whilst pg.

If you have one, contact your HR department and ask about travel and break entitlements. Work should def. have filled a risk assessment specifically for you (as a person) which usually sets limits for periods of standing (5h on my feet in any one day for me - company standard), breaks, access to fluids/water, length of travel, lifting/handling, exposure to chemicals, exposure to temperatures etc. If they haven't even done a risk assessment then they're legally obliged to, so make sure they do. Have a look at this site, useful for you and your employer... HSE, UK based, but still very useful of you're not.

If nothing else it will give YOU boundaries not to step across. Useful for their insuracne and can stop you pushing yourself too hard without realising it.

georgethecat Sun 02-Oct-11 21:31:18

Thanks oeisha & crazyhead, I think I need to prioritise me and bean at the mo. Instead of saving up all my annual leave to add to mat leave, I think I'm going to use it up over the next 3 months and have a week off a month and chill the f$$k out, I mean who will give a shit if I miss a few meetings smile phew feel more relaxed already with he development of my masterplan.

Oeisha Sun 02-Oct-11 21:57:06

Having said all that I'm personally rubbish at telling work to fuck off back off and let me rest. Mainly because I'm so paranoid they're going to take any career development away from me (and I have a shed load to get done in 8 weeks) and plonk me on restricted duties, rather than addressing the issues that need addressing for everyone's sanity.

georgethecat Sun 02-Oct-11 22:05:08

Maybe you need a bigger telling than me then! grin yea thats the thing, you know what you should be doing but you get caught up in the all consuming work bubble, but as my DP said to me the other day whats 3 months of being on a go slow in the context of a 40 year career. Look after yourself xxx

notlettingthefearshow Sun 02-Oct-11 22:40:29

Good for you george! I do think it's important not to get overtired or stressed. I was actually more tired at 20 weeks than I am now (28) because it was so busy at work. My work have been brilliant with me at reminding me to take it easy and cutting my duties wherever possible. I've found I get run down and stressed more easily than normal, and if that happens and you feel ill, you're likely to take more time off work anyway, so it's totally in their interests to keep you well. Also, they know you are much more likely to come back to work if they have treated you well.

TBH, as you progress in your pregnancy you may well care less about work because there's so much going on babywise, and you have lots of time off for hospital and midwife appointments. I still work hard and do a good job but I no longer 'go the extra mile' and do not volunteer for extra work. I guess you are also preparing yourself to detach from working during maternity leave - you will have to let go then, so maybe doing it gradually helps.

Oeisha Mon 03-Oct-11 11:09:28

george Yes, I probably do need to let go. I really do. Although I've been TELLING them I only have 9 weeks to do a major project (thanks to not being allocated ANY time before) I don't think it's really sunk in with me properly (mainly because I know it's not going to happen at all). It's one of those cases of the basic day-to-day stuff mostly gets done, but the logical stuff gets left behind if I'm not about to rudely point it out push for some sanity. As someone said to me "Your section's going to be screwed, especially on Sundays when you're on mat. leave"...nice to know other people have noticed at least...

I am going to have a sit down with someone this week to talk about the next few weeks. I'm 25wks this week and thus, realistically, could go off any time. I don't think this has even dawned on them at all...

georgethecat Mon 03-Oct-11 20:08:37

Yes, do it. I mean I really hope you don't but if you had a difficult third trimester and decided to take early mat leave they would have to cope. I think maybe talking to work may help you feel better. I think with us career ladies want to get everything finished at work before we go but unfortunately it is impossible to tie up all the ends.
I was talking to my mum about this issue and she said you've just got to think of yourself first because others do and that work will rumble on without you and it can't be your problem when you leave.

lollystix Mon 03-Oct-11 20:14:43

I don't think it's dawned on my work and I'm 37 weeks. I leave in 3 weeks if I don't pop earlier. They'll probably realise when I don't turn up one day. It's my fourth time so I know the corporate wheel doesn't stop turning - whatever seems important today isn't really in the grand scheme of things. Really struggled leaving 1st time round but someone gave me good advice -she said not to stress about what's going on when you're off as you really can't influence any of it.

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