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Done things the wrong way round....Confused about 2nd pregnancy

(3 Posts)
DreamCream Sun 25-Sep-11 10:54:42

I have recently found out that I am pregnant with my second child. The pregnancy was unplanned.
The thing is I am (we are) in what appears to be a tricky situation.
I am in my early 30?s living with my parents DS and DH. My DH husband works but I no longer do as I lost my job, I was also the bread winner at the time. I am claiming JSA and still coming to terms with the fact that I am unemployed.
There is no way we can raise our second child in our current living arrangement due to the lack of space and we need to live as an independent family.
The reason we moved back to my parents was to save money to get our own place but that has not planned out well at all as there always seems to be one big bill followed by another. In addition the fees for renting seem to mount up and we do not have much saved. I have tried to apply for social housing but we are on the lowest band and we cannot afford to by our own property.
My DH is looking for a second job and I am putting a lot of pressure on him but I feel I need to?
I have been looking for work since June this year. I have also been to the Citizens Advice Bureau and I was not told anything I did not really know- stuck! sad
I feel so helpless. As everyone else has their own place to live. I feel as if I have done things the wrong way round. I am sure I would better about the pregnancy if we had our own place and a sense of direction. I am in denial and stressed out. I want to cry but cannot.

FrogGreen Mon 26-Sep-11 08:54:20

Hi Dream, I don't really have much helpful to say but I didn't want your post to go unanswered, you sound pretty low.

Trying to think of unconventional solutions that might be helpful in tough times. Could the four of you, ie you and your DH and your parents, afford to all move together to a bigger place?

I think you can stop beating yourself up by looking at what "everyone else" is doing. "Everyone else" is also living in tough times, and maybe stretched more than they're letting on. My DH and I rely a great deal on my parents for financial and practical support, we're also early 30's but we don't really stand on our own feet.

Sorry not very helpful.

LorelaisMommy Mon 26-Sep-11 14:20:08

I know how you feel. I was in a terrible job and ended up having some-one falsely accuse me of racial bullying. The company took his side and the CAB said I couldn't prove otherwise so I literally managed to quit the day before they sacked me for gross misconduct. Two weeks later I'm pregnant with number 2, a crippling mortgage and no hope of finding a job what with number 1/rural location/can't drive/expanding waistline!!!! Then to top it off, had to argue for JSA as I had actually quit, not got sacked. We seriously looked into selling the house but have so far managed to struggle along. Serious belt-tightening going on though.
I don't know what advice to offer, have you spoken to the council about housing? Maybe your parents could 'evict' you? If you were working you should be able to claim maternity benefit, the same as maternity pay if you are out of work, ask at the job centre.
Just hang in there!!!

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