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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

A short rants about midwives........

44 replies

themightyskim · 23/09/2011 13:40

at what point did midwives become the biggest bunch of grumpy horrible non-understanding harpies alive????

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Crosshair · 23/09/2011 13:45

All the ones I've seen(about 5) so far have been polite and if anything a little too nice. :)

Whats up?

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tigercametotea · 23/09/2011 13:52

I don't know about grumpy, but some can seem quite blunt or abrupt at times. They might have had a bad day, I don't know.

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reallytired · 23/09/2011 13:55

Are you sure you not got an over dose of pregnancy hormones?

Most midwives I have seen with my two children have been lovely. I have only met two horrible ones.

When I moved from Newbury at 35 weeks pregnant there was a stupid women who made out I was high risk because I registered late in Hertfordshire. She did not acknowledge that I have had ante natal care in Newbury. There are plenty of healthy babies in Berkshire so it can't be that much of a disaster. She had me in tears because I had not had anti D at the dates West Herts dicated.

The second horrible midwife refused to look after me in labour. I had flu and she didn't want to catch. I had the ward sister come and look after me instead and she was lovely. I had lovely midwives on the postnatal ward and fanastic care with dd.

I feel your comment is totally uncalled for. In my experience 90% of midwives are lovely and prehaps the other 10% are stressed out and human. None of us are perfect.

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Grumpla · 23/09/2011 13:57

The midwives who delivered my son ROCKED.

Yes one or two of them might be very stressed / grumpy but I think the vast majority do an amazing job.

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coccyx · 23/09/2011 13:59

I have 4 children and never met a midwife as you describe. That said they are human and allowed to be grumpy

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GetOrfMo1Land · 23/09/2011 14:00

I loved all the midwives.

Don't get me started on health visitors though...

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BikeRunSki · 23/09/2011 14:00

I have seen the same Community Midwife in both pg. She's bonkers, lovely and very comforting. I like her a lot. Not enough to have another baby though, but will be a little sad to wave her good bye in a few weeks time.

My hopsital midwives have all been lovely too. I was in for a week with DS and they were super.

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notcitrus · 23/09/2011 14:00

I must have seen 50 midwives by the time ds and I were discharged in my first pregnancy, and they were all fine, many outstanding even, with the exception of one agency one brought in on the night shift who was both nasty and rude (and has been apologised for by several other MWs then and in my current pregnancy)

Sadly it's not the 49 good ones who triggered nightmares for months.

Hope you can see another one and get some understanding soon OP.

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themightyskim · 23/09/2011 14:03

Not so much whats up, well yes something has sparked me off, had a big bleed last night so got sent to the early pregnancy unit, had also been referred and seen an tuesday for a different issue and despite me bleeding away and being clearly distressed by the pain im in she has told me not to go back unless I bleed for a fortnight or pass a fist size clot because thats the baby coming out and then they would be worried! not impressed

Apart from that Ive just generally noticed that in my area they seem annoyed and pushed for time all the time, we had a 'group meeting' and they were so short with the various mums there it bordered on rude, ive tried on three seperate occasions this week to get hold of mine and shes never there, nor has anyone been at the office and dont get me started on the lecture I got for saying no to home birth!! oh and because im not married Ive been listed as single and they didnt even want the babys fathers details at first despite him being there Ive just found it a difficult and disappointing start to what should be a magical time for us

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Sandra2011 · 23/09/2011 14:04

I've only dealt with two midwifes.

My Community Midwife is great. Now in 2nd pregnancy I'm glad to be able to see her again.

MW that delivered my son was amazing. We even sent her a thank you card after we got home. And she sent us a card thanking about her thank you card and wishing us all the best.

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themightyskim · 23/09/2011 14:09

and really tired my comments are true of the five ive met so far, BF was so upset by the comments made today that he has complained so no, not just my pregnancy hormones, and nothing makes that lad mad hes so laid back that hes horizontal the majority of the time

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RamblingRosa · 23/09/2011 14:10

I agree with others that all the midwives who dealt with me while pg were brilliant. there were a few slightly dozy ones when I was going for antenatal check ups but the ones involved in delivery were all brilliant.

I think your point that they seem "pushed for time" is the key isn't it? They are pushed for time. They're chronically short staffed and working long shifts. Did you see that panorama a while back about the shortage of midwives? The Royal College of Midwives estimates that there's a shortage of 5000 in England. There's an e-petition to government to recruit and train another 5000. Rather than blame individual midwives, why not do something positive and sign that petition :)

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thisisyesterday · 23/09/2011 14:15

all mine have been lovely

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MerylStrop · 23/09/2011 14:17

All the midwives I've ever dealt with (3 pregnancies) have been fabulous.

I am sorry you are having an anxious time. It seems like the midwife you saw might have needed a wee bit of work on her bedside manner. Hope everything works out ok for you.

But it is not their job to make it a "magical time". The midwives I know are quick and matter of fact with people in early pregnancy (unless there are big ishoos) so they can prioritise spending time with women who are further along or who are in greater need.

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Crosshair · 23/09/2011 14:19

Sorry your care so far has been awful themightyskim. Im glad you decided to complained and hopefully things will improve for you. :(

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Mum1369 · 23/09/2011 14:24

Have to say I'm with you themightyskim, problem is obviously that it all depends on personal experience - and in mine they were absolutely dreadful. Have since met some nice ones, but on average pretty grim unfortunately. Of course you get good and bad in everything - just that in pregnancy when you get a bad one, it can be disastrous - or just plain old irritating

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themightyskim · 23/09/2011 14:30

thanks its nice to know im not alone, I am a nurse and I work for a team that is chronically short staffed but no matter what I ensure that even on my worst days I have a smile for my patients, I wish I could say the same of the people Ive met so far, hopefully the bleeding will calm down now and Ill have very little need to spend much more time with the midwives ive met so far

And for those of you lucky enough to have had a positive experience id say just that, your lucky and try to imagine how you would feel with the shoe on the other foot- im not after a group of sycophants, just some plain old manners, courtesy and information when I need it

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Crosshair · 23/09/2011 14:34

Did they do a scan or take bloods?

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Mum1369 · 23/09/2011 14:36

By the way - might not be a popular opinion,, but if you are bleeding and you are worried - go to the hospital. You are the person in charge of your body and your baby. They aren't always right.

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themightyskim · 23/09/2011 14:42

Ive been to the bep clinic today and been scanned (and told to worry when the fist sized baby clot appears!!) couldnt get hold of my midwife so the alternative number was the delivery room and thats where they sent me, aparently its my cervix thats bleeding, baby was wriggling away unconcernedly :) hopefully this dreadful pain will stop soon, the bleeding is just starting to slow down now

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thisisyesterday · 23/09/2011 14:50

glad baby was ok.
2 of my friends have had really, really big bleeds in pregnancy and both went on to have happy healthy babies. really worrying though

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themightyskim · 23/09/2011 14:53

thanks, and yes it was frightening, and of course it had to happen yesterday five minutes before the school run, fingers crossed though its just one of those things, the midwife has told me that ill more than likely have several more yet so much to look forward to

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Crosshair · 23/09/2011 15:03

Glad the baby is well and I hope things settle down for you.

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gluttom · 23/09/2011 15:09

I agree that most I have met in my 3 pregnancies have been surly - I'm a nurse too and always make time and never show I'm too busy to help.

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mankymooandsqualfie · 23/09/2011 20:05

I have to say that so far I have had two appointments with two different Midwives and haven't been impressed with either.

The first one at my booking in appointment appeared to be bored by the whole thing and whilst it may be routine for her it would have been nice to have shown some interest.

The second, who is going to be my usual midwife, chose to take a phone call on her mobile phone whilst I was still sitting in the room waiting to ask a couple of questions and just dismissed me without actually answering them. She also sent me to reception to ask about my MatB1 form and they didn't have anymore of a clue than I did.

However I do accept that maybe I was just feeling a bit sensitive and will go to my next appointment with an open mind.