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A short rants about midwives........

(45 Posts)
themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 13:40:18

at what point did midwives become the biggest bunch of grumpy horrible non-understanding harpies alive????

Crosshair Fri 23-Sep-11 13:45:50

All the ones I've seen(about 5) so far have been polite and if anything a little too nice. smile

Whats up?

tigercametotea Fri 23-Sep-11 13:52:27

I don't know about grumpy, but some can seem quite blunt or abrupt at times. They might have had a bad day, I don't know.

reallytired Fri 23-Sep-11 13:55:28

Are you sure you not got an over dose of pregnancy hormones?

Most midwives I have seen with my two children have been lovely. I have only met two horrible ones.

When I moved from Newbury at 35 weeks pregnant there was a stupid women who made out I was high risk because I registered late in Hertfordshire. She did not acknowledge that I have had ante natal care in Newbury. There are plenty of healthy babies in Berkshire so it can't be that much of a disaster. She had me in tears because I had not had anti D at the dates West Herts dicated.

The second horrible midwife refused to look after me in labour. I had flu and she didn't want to catch. I had the ward sister come and look after me instead and she was lovely. I had lovely midwives on the postnatal ward and fanastic care with dd.

I feel your comment is totally uncalled for. In my experience 90% of midwives are lovely and prehaps the other 10% are stressed out and human. None of us are perfect.

Grumpla Fri 23-Sep-11 13:57:41

The midwives who delivered my son ROCKED.

Yes one or two of them might be very stressed / grumpy but I think the vast majority do an amazing job.

coccyx Fri 23-Sep-11 13:59:18

I have 4 children and never met a midwife as you describe. That said they are human and allowed to be grumpy

GetOrfMo1Land Fri 23-Sep-11 14:00:15

I loved all the midwives.

Don't get me started on health visitors though...

BikeRunSki Fri 23-Sep-11 14:00:23

I have seen the same Community Midwife in both pg. She's bonkers, lovely and very comforting. I like her a lot. Not enough to have another baby though, but will be a little sad to wave her good bye in a few weeks time.

My hopsital midwives have all been lovely too. I was in for a week with DS and they were super.

notcitrus Fri 23-Sep-11 14:00:48

I must have seen 50 midwives by the time ds and I were discharged in my first pregnancy, and they were all fine, many outstanding even, with the exception of one agency one brought in on the night shift who was both nasty and rude (and has been apologised for by several other MWs then and in my current pregnancy)

Sadly it's not the 49 good ones who triggered nightmares for months.

Hope you can see another one and get some understanding soon OP.

themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 14:03:04

Not so much whats up, well yes something has sparked me off, had a big bleed last night so got sent to the early pregnancy unit, had also been referred and seen an tuesday for a different issue and despite me bleeding away and being clearly distressed by the pain im in she has told me not to go back unless I bleed for a fortnight or pass a fist size clot because thats the baby coming out and then they would be worried! not impressed

Apart from that Ive just generally noticed that in my area they seem annoyed and pushed for time all the time, we had a 'group meeting' and they were so short with the various mums there it bordered on rude, ive tried on three seperate occasions this week to get hold of mine and shes never there, nor has anyone been at the office and dont get me started on the lecture I got for saying no to home birth!! oh and because im not married Ive been listed as single and they didnt even want the babys fathers details at first despite him being there Ive just found it a difficult and disappointing start to what should be a magical time for us

Sandra2011 Fri 23-Sep-11 14:04:43

I've only dealt with two midwifes.

My Community Midwife is great. Now in 2nd pregnancy I'm glad to be able to see her again.

MW that delivered my son was amazing. We even sent her a thank you card after we got home. And she sent us a card thanking about her thank you card and wishing us all the best.

themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 14:09:53

and really tired my comments are true of the five ive met so far, BF was so upset by the comments made today that he has complained so no, not just my pregnancy hormones, and nothing makes that lad mad hes so laid back that hes horizontal the majority of the time

RamblingRosa Fri 23-Sep-11 14:10:37

I agree with others that all the midwives who dealt with me while pg were brilliant. there were a few slightly dozy ones when I was going for antenatal check ups but the ones involved in delivery were all brilliant.

I think your point that they seem "pushed for time" is the key isn't it? They are pushed for time. They're chronically short staffed and working long shifts. Did you see that panorama a while back about the shortage of midwives? The Royal College of Midwives estimates that there's a shortage of 5000 in England. There's an e-petition to government to recruit and train another 5000. Rather than blame individual midwives, why not do something positive and sign that petition smile

thisisyesterday Fri 23-Sep-11 14:15:33

all mine have been lovely

MerylStrop Fri 23-Sep-11 14:17:37

All the midwives I've ever dealt with (3 pregnancies) have been fabulous.

I am sorry you are having an anxious time. It seems like the midwife you saw might have needed a wee bit of work on her bedside manner. Hope everything works out ok for you.

But it is not their job to make it a "magical time". The midwives I know are quick and matter of fact with people in early pregnancy (unless there are big ishoos) so they can prioritise spending time with women who are further along or who are in greater need.

Crosshair Fri 23-Sep-11 14:19:35

Sorry your care so far has been awful themightyskim. Im glad you decided to complained and hopefully things will improve for you. sad

Mum1369 Fri 23-Sep-11 14:24:52

Have to say I'm with you themightyskim, problem is obviously that it all depends on personal experience - and in mine they were absolutely dreadful. Have since met some nice ones, but on average pretty grim unfortunately. Of course you get good and bad in everything - just that in pregnancy when you get a bad one, it can be disastrous - or just plain old irritating

themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 14:30:50

thanks its nice to know im not alone, I am a nurse and I work for a team that is chronically short staffed but no matter what I ensure that even on my worst days I have a smile for my patients, I wish I could say the same of the people Ive met so far, hopefully the bleeding will calm down now and Ill have very little need to spend much more time with the midwives ive met so far

And for those of you lucky enough to have had a positive experience id say just that, your lucky and try to imagine how you would feel with the shoe on the other foot- im not after a group of sycophants, just some plain old manners, courtesy and information when I need it

Crosshair Fri 23-Sep-11 14:34:44

Did they do a scan or take bloods?

Mum1369 Fri 23-Sep-11 14:36:00

By the way - might not be a popular opinion,, but if you are bleeding and you are worried - go to the hospital. You are the person in charge of your body and your baby. They aren't always right.

themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 14:42:26

Ive been to the bep clinic today and been scanned (and told to worry when the fist sized baby clot appears!!) couldnt get hold of my midwife so the alternative number was the delivery room and thats where they sent me, aparently its my cervix thats bleeding, baby was wriggling away unconcernedly smile hopefully this dreadful pain will stop soon, the bleeding is just starting to slow down now

thisisyesterday Fri 23-Sep-11 14:50:30

glad baby was ok.
2 of my friends have had really, really big bleeds in pregnancy and both went on to have happy healthy babies. really worrying though

themightyskim Fri 23-Sep-11 14:53:37

thanks, and yes it was frightening, and of course it had to happen yesterday five minutes before the school run, fingers crossed though its just one of those things, the midwife has told me that ill more than likely have several more yet so much to look forward to hmm

Crosshair Fri 23-Sep-11 15:03:34

Glad the baby is well and I hope things settle down for you.

gluttom Fri 23-Sep-11 15:09:33

I agree that most I have met in my 3 pregnancies have been surly - I'm a nurse too and always make time and never show I'm too busy to help.

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