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happy to be pregnant but having dreams of the son i lost.xx

(4 Posts)
talktalktalk Wed 21-Sep-11 07:41:14

6 years ago now i lost my baby boy, he was 18 month and had struggled to stay alive his whole life.luckly i had his twin brother to make me carry on. a year later i had my baby girl,i had all the normal feeling's of guilt and that i was a bad person for moving on but i got past it. we'r now expecting again and i keep dreaming my son didn't really die! he's still at the hospital and for some reason i stopped visiting him. in some dreams i get to hold him and see him smile again witch is nice and heart breaking at the same time.some time's i'm just trying to get to him.anyone had this happen to them? xx

Purplebuns Wed 21-Sep-11 10:21:49

That sounds awful and I think it is natural to feel how you do.
The closest I have in experience is my current pregnancy is making me go over a lot of my feelings about my mc that I thought I had resolved. I think in some ways it is going through things that perhaps you need to heal.

Someone who was a bit woo might say he is giving you his blessing.
I would just say it is obvious you haven't forgotten about him and that maybe with this pregnancy you hope to reconcile some of the loss you are feeling. I hope your ok and give yourself the time to grieve again if you need to. smile

AKMD Wed 21-Sep-11 12:49:06

I am obviously in a teary mood today because our post just made me cry. I'm really sorry for your loss and I'm glad that you are expecting again.

I had lots of vivid dreams when I was pregnant with DS (sometimes a bit too vivid blush), including nightmares about leaving the baby outside in a cardboard box when it was raining, stupid things like that. If the dreams you're having are comforting to you then I think it's great smile

talktalktalk Wed 21-Sep-11 14:12:47

my dreams are alway's very real when i'm in them, i even suffer from sleep parliysis at time. the dream are lovely when i'm there smile i can even smell him. it's just hard to wake up and carry on with every day life.i often dream of him but never that he didn't really die ( witch is odd) maybe it's just my brain telling me i need to go back and grive a bit befor i can move on again. i think because he lived in hospital for 15 months and i only managed to get him home for the last 3 make's my mind think i should just go visit him like i used to. xx

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