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Fetal pole but no heart beat, I am so stressed

(13 Posts)
MumHoll Tue 20-Sep-11 09:21:37

I had a scan when I was 6 weeks 2 days and the internal scan dated me at 5 weeks 2 days. At this scan they could only see a sac and no fetal pole. I returned a week later (when I was 7 weeks 2 days) and had another internal scan and it showed a little growth, a small fetal pole dating 5 weeks 5 days. The sonographer said she would have expected to see a heartbeat. They have asked me back in 10 days for another scan to see if the pregnancy will continue. They have also booked me in the same day for an ERPC should it be bad news. They seemed to be quite negative as there is a discrepancy with dates and there being no heartbeat. I am worried sick and don?t know how I will get through the next 10 days. Someone told me that as soon as you can see a fetal pole you should be able to see the heartbeat.
Has anyone been in a similar position and had a positive outcome. I am so stressed out; I feel in limbo and could really do with some advice and support. Thank you.

bigmacandhappymeal Tue 20-Sep-11 09:50:39

Hi there
I haven't experienced exactly that but didn't want your message to go unanswered for too long. I'm so sorry that you are in this position as the waiting is awful.

Reading your message, it is possible that the scan you had at 7+2 (your dates) could have actually been 6+2 or earlier. From my experience of scans, it's often very hard to find a heartbeat that early so there is some hope. I'm really sorry that they have booked you in for an ERPC at the same time as well as that is hardly going to encourage you not to be worried.

Try to look after yourself, avoid googling as you'll drive yourself insane and focus on one day at a time if you can. A trivial point but I have found boxsets hugely helpful at times like this as you can get through the evenings watching them. Please also make sure you talk to those close to you - you need lots of TLC to get through the waiting
All crossed for a positive outcome
xx

goodnightmoon Tue 20-Sep-11 10:00:58

sorry to hear this. I'm always negative after my own experiences along these lines, so I'd say prepare for the worst. After a week there should have been more growth, and a heartbeat. I actually had one pregnancy where they re-dated me by two weeks and there eventually even was a heartbeat but I knew those dates couldn't be right and I miscarried a week or so later. There are some miracle stories out there though and it's not over until it's over.

mumt1 Tue 20-Sep-11 10:07:32

Just to pick you up a bit, exactly the same happened to me. I was cramping so had a scan, showed no heartbeat, had one 10 days later and there it was flickering away. So just stay positive I no the waiting is absolutely dreadful! Relax the best you can tho. Best of luck!

kat2504 Tue 20-Sep-11 10:07:41

I'm so sorry that this is happening. The waiting is torture but unfortunately it's the only way to find out if your dates are out or if the pregnancy has failed. Sadly it doesn't sound great as there was not enough growth between the two scans. Obviously there is some hope until you have your next scan but I think you should be prepared to get bad news. It's no comfort that this is a very common thing to happen (I have had 2) as it doesn't make you feel better that it is happening to you.
How possible is it that your dates could be a week and a bit out? When I was in this situation I knew it was impossible due to when I got my positive test, so I was prepared for the second scan to be bad. However, if your dates could be out there is still a fair chance.
Bigmac is right, distraction is what you need to get you through the waiting and lots of support from your family.
A final thing, if it is bad news, you don't have to have the ERPC if you don't want to. It is the right choice for some people but there are other options too.

MumHoll Tue 20-Sep-11 10:35:45

Thanks all for your supportive messages. I am fearing the worst but there is still a little light of hope shining. I feel like I'm being mentally and emotionally tortured.

mumt1 did you see the fetal pole before thy heartbeat?

I haven't told anyone about this only my husband. I can't tell my family as my sister gave birth last week and I don't want to upset or worry them.

themightyskim Tue 20-Sep-11 10:55:33

if you google it then there are some stories like mumt1's fingers crossed that you just have a lazy baby and everything will be fine, I hope time passes quickly for you, the not knowing is the worst bit x x

Catsycat Tue 20-Sep-11 11:42:21

I'm sorry MumHoll. I had a very similar experience at the end of June, and I'm afraid it didn't end well for me.

I believe it is possible to miss a heartbeat on a fetal pole that is only 3 or 4 mm long. However, the size and date discrepancy, and the lack of growth, is a big worry. The nurse at our EPU told me they never say never until the last scan, because things can happen that aren't "textbook", but I too would advise you to prepare yourself for the worst.

The waiting is truly horrible, and I agree it does feel like torture. When I was in that position I went out shopping (when I could bear to) and wasted lots of time on MN, talked it over with DH and good friends (my friends didn't know I was pg until then, but I needed their support and they were happy to give it), also spent a good bit of time crying and sleeping, TBH.

Personally, I would want the support of my parents and sister. This is a happy time for them, and it is very selfless of you to want to protect them. However, you also need to protect yourself, and with a new baby around there is so much potential for you to be upset and reminded of your own worries. Knowing that you are going through a hard time shouldn't take away the joy of your sisters baby for them, but it might make people think before they unknowingly say anything insensitive to you, and will explain if you are suddenly in tears round the baby etc. Think of yourself too - don't be a hero if you do need their support.

I have my fingers crossed that everything will turn out well. Take care x

goodnightmoon Tue 20-Sep-11 11:46:24

if possible, you could also book somewhere for a private scan a bit sooner - things should be pretty obvious within a few days if they dated the fetal pole at 5w 5d. HB usually starts around 6 weeks.

MumHoll Sun 02-Oct-11 19:34:27

I just wanted to update you, and to thank everyone who answered my post. Sadly, it did end badly for me at the scan 10 days later. The fetal pole that was there earlier had gone and the pregnancy had failed. I had an erpc later the same day. It has been very emotional and very sad, but we will try again when we feel ready. Thanks again for those who took time to post, very much appreciated. Thank you. Good luck to all those pregnant ladies out there, I wish you a problem free time, I hope to join you soon, take care x

bigmacandhappymeal Sun 02-Oct-11 19:40:34

I'm so sorry to hear this news holl. Take care of yourself and hope to see you very soon back on here
x

Midgetm Mon 03-Oct-11 20:55:06

holl I just wanted to send you some virtual love. I have been through what you describe and I really feel for you. I know it is no help right now but time is a healer (corny but true) Be kind to yourself and let yourself howl. I am just reeling from a suspected ectopic but I will try again. Because hope keeps me going. You will find your way through. Lots of love x

notlettingthefearshow Tue 04-Oct-11 00:16:25

You must be so stressed, you poor thing. Everything crossed for you. x

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