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Feeling blue at 31 weeks

(10 Posts)
sophie8987 Wed 14-Sep-11 14:00:19

I'm feeling very low at the moment and wondering if anyone else is experiencing this - whether it's normal pregnancy hormones, or if I'm down for other reasons. I don't feel like picking up the phone and talking to friends or family, I just want to hide away.
I also don't feel very supported by my partner, and I think this is finally beginning to drag me down. His stresses and strains have been paramount over the last seven months, whether work- related, or moving house-related. He's also a bit of a hypochondriac, so barely a week goes by without him feeling ill and if not, then he's tired.
I feel I've not been pampered or looked after at all. I don't want much really, but I'd love to be made to feel a little buit looked after. For example, I'd love to be brought a cup of tea in the morning while I'm getting ready for work. Instead, I always make the tea and bring it to my partner in bed while I'm getting ready. Stupid example, I know, but it's just to illustrate a point.
I've been really lucky with my pregnancy and not really felt ill at all, but I do now have a sore back and my legs go from under me when I get out of bed, or if I've been sitting for a long time. I feel this is not even acknowledged by my partner - I don't go on and on about it, but it's a problem for me. I think that because he exaggerates illness, etc, that he assumes me to be doing the same and doesn't take it seriously.
I'm really waffling. I suppose that I'm just giving a couple of examples because I want to know if I have lost all perspective becuase of my hormones and that's why I'm down, or if I have reasons to feel down.

largeginandtonic Wed 14-Sep-11 14:06:48

Poor you love.

Your partner sounds like a nob grin I couldn't bear the hypochondriac witterings, you are doing well to take it.

I think it is probably nearing the end and the pregnancy is catching up with you. You SHOULD feel pampered and be made to feel special. Could you leave some magazines open with the pregnancy issues illustrated in them, maybe order him a book to read about how pregnancy affects your mental and physical health.

I think if he became a bit more considerate you would feel much better.

largeginandtonic Wed 14-Sep-11 14:08:26

Oh and STOP making him tea. Ask him to make it.

roz1982 Wed 14-Sep-11 14:25:06

I'm approaching 31 weeks and am starting to feel very fed up and quite down from time to time. I have a sympathetic partner who does look after me and I still don't think he does enough!! If my dh was goin on about about his ailments all the time it would proper piss me off! Have a word, tell him how you feel and tell him what you need. You're pregnant and you deserve it.

CollieandPup Wed 14-Sep-11 14:27:51

I agree with, ginandtonic... poor you!!!

I am not one to particulary milk being pg, DH is busy doing DIY around the house so I don't expect everything else to be done for me, but a bit of pampering every now and then goes a long way! I used to get annoyed at him when he would insist on carrying things, but now at 30wks I'm grateful. I totally agree that you should STOP making him a cup of tea in the morning! I can't actually believe he let's you do this every day without it occurring to him to do it....pregnant or not!!

I'd be dropping lots of not so subtle hints of things he could do....or do you get on well with his mum, maybe she could suggest something to him?

I think at this stage, feeling emotional is understandable. Being pg, regardless of illness, is hard work! You're looking for support and appreciation and there is nothing wrong with that.

I think feeling blue isn't uncommon at this stage.... ive spent this morning blubbering and feeling sorry for myself as a result of being sleep deprived! smile

SmileyMS Wed 14-Sep-11 14:33:17

Hormones are horrid things...I'm not at all sure that my partner could be any more helpful, understanding and loving but on occasions I still have days where I just find myself irritated, annoyed and sometimes just plain upset with people over pretty much nothing.

My partner + 1 or 2 close friends is about all I can muster time for and my tolerance levels are at an all time low. If your partner is bugging you perhaps it would really help to let him know so that he can be more supportive...my only caution is that you might well keep feeling low and irritated anyway grin

LauraMysak Wed 14-Sep-11 22:05:56

I'm sorry to read you're feeling depressed. I feel a little bit like that too at times- 30 weeks pregnant. I don't know if it's hormones or if the whole pregnancy thing is such a huge thing that's going to change so many things in my life. It's just such a new thing and very difficult to get used to. I find myself worrying about the birth and how it's going to be, about whether everything will be okay with my baby, about if I'm going to be able to breastfeed and how I'm going to cope generally. I'm sorry to hear your other half isn't being very supportive. I'm sure he'll realise the enormity of it all soon enough though. He's maybe not been aware of the things you may be feeling because you've had such an easy pregnancy so far and you've not moaned about anything. Don't worry. He'll come round when he realises he's going to be a daddy!

QuiltySecrets Wed 14-Sep-11 23:18:33

Just to say I'm now 35 weeks and a couple of weeks ago I went through a really weepy stage where I just felt emotional and tired and lonely and sad all of the time. I'm sure it is the hormones - and for me it has passed (mainly!). It will get better. Your body is going through massive changes and it is bound to take its toll. Don't worry.

susiedaisy Wed 14-Sep-11 23:24:51

Although my youngest is now ten just wanted to add a comment, when I had both my dc I experienced feeling really fed up and teary at around 30 weeks right up until I gave birth and then had awful baby blues, when I discussed this with my midwife she said that studies had shown women can start to suffer from baby blues b4 the babe arrived and the most frequent time that this started to happened was at 30 weeks, sorry don't know proper terminology it was a long time ago might be worth asking midwife about it.

sophie8987 Thu 15-Sep-11 11:11:43

Thank you for your support, everyone. It looks from your responses that it's probably a mixture of hormones and feeling unsupported. I do feel better today - so probably in a postition to be more assertive with my partner. I'm not ususally a doormat, but can find it difficult to assert my thoughts and feelings when I'm feeling down.
I really appreciate all the feedback xx

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