DH and I had vaguely talked about DC 3 for a couple of years and had set this summer as the absolute deadline (am 40) but generally come to the conclusion that it was time to move on and that we were really fortunate and there were too many reasons not to spoil what we have.
Was feeling slightly sad but suprised at how relieved I was too and how easy it was to move all the baby stuff into the garage.
Well one (yes one) reckless night when we were both feeling whimisical about the whole thing just 9 days ago and already have a clear as custard BFP. Was not at all the right time in my cycle and took nearly 2 years to fall with DC2 so am gobsmacked.
Financially this is a bad thing - the main reason we had decided not to go for it in the end. My job, which I absolutely love, is contract based and won't be renewed if I am unable to be the key player next summer (vaguely Olympics related). Its a very specialist field and realistically I am now out of the market. I really am not a very good SAHM (I wanted to be but tried and failed) and not really sure what I can do now.
Its a baby and I always imagined 3 but I will miss my job and the fairly limited comforts it brings (DH decent salary but we pay a fortune to live with 1 hr of his London office which means I pay for family holiday, anything unneccessary which makes life more comfortable). We'll have to move to smaller house when we need bigger and move further away from his work when ideally we'll want him around more.
When will I stop thinking this way and think yay!!!!!!!!!!!
(I do understand I am extremely, extremely lucky too - the baby will be much much loved - its the selfish part of me I need to sort out so I can face the world with happy news)
Give urself time. The older u get the more u focus on the what ifs, it's natural. U say it will be loved and wanted and so whilst it's a shock it sounds like you will be fine and fine all together. Share the shock, might help!