Help/reassurance please!!(8 Posts)
I found out yesterday I am pregnant, been married 3 months and came off the pill about month ago.
Really didn't expect it to happen so quickly, think I was blinded by others (2 friends going through IVF). And now I'm freaking out, dh is remarkably calm and can't wait to tell people, I want time to let it settle in with me, am I being unreasonable???
I am happy but at the moment my overriding feeling is terror!! Can we cope/ am I ready?? Is it normal to feel like this??
To top it off my mum died a year ago, REALLY wish I could phone her....
Any comments massively appreciated, even if just to tell me I'm being daft!
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Really normal to feel pretty scared I think, and it must be very hard that your mum isn't around to talk to I got pregnant with my DC2 quite quickly which I wasn't expecting and I found it really hard for a while - was terrified. It passed soon enough and I was able to start enjoying it.
Thank you. Really grateful to hear I'm not going crazy!!
I think the majority of us first timers are freaking out - hormones and reality setting in at a rough guess, Ive not really told many people yet and I think your being perfectly reasonable wanting to wait - relax, enjoy and spend a bit of time getting your head round the idea of having a baby
I was TERRIFIED when I found out I was pregnant. I oscillated between utter joy and even wondering whether a termination would be better (although never entertained the idea seriously this gives you an idea of how low the low was). I think this is really very normal. I was petrified that my life would never be the same (and it isn't!) but a friend once wisely told me 'the positives always outweigh the negatives' and this HAS been true.
Ask your DH to hold off for a bit and enjoy the secret between you, although be very happy that you have such an excited DH!
Sorry about your mum, can you visit her grave or somewhere significant and have a long chat to her about it (in your head or whatever).
It's completely normal to have some mixed feelings, it's such a huge change to your life. But you will cope, and although it will be bloody hard at times, it will also be amazing and wonderful.
My advice would be not to rush and tell everyone just yet. Take a little time with just you and DH knowing, so that you can start to adjust to the idea. Once you tell people they will have lots of advice and suggestions and questions and it can be a bit overwhelming.
With my first pregnancy I found that I got used to being pregnant quite quickly, the morning sickness set in and I started to show and it didn't seem strange any more. But it took a lot longer to really feel I was going to have a baby- that seemed surreal and far-off. It didn't really sink in until I had bought various things and set up the cot etc.
Oh my god, this is so normal! I was terrified after finding out I was pg. A couple of months before I'd been told I'd need help conceiving so we'd stopped using protection. It really was a shock.
My dp was similar to your dh wanting to tell everyone straight away and he did actually tell all his immediate family within about 12 hours of us finding out. I needed more time and I think you should talk to your dh and agree you'll wait a bit before telling all and sundry.
This is obviously something you wanted so I'm sure you'll get used to the idea and be pleased about it soon.
I was still having major wobbles right till the end but I wouldn't change having my dd for the world. She's by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Good luck with your pregnancy. Xx
thanks so much for all the sensible, non freaking out advice, Im defo going to have a chat with dh, don't think I could cope with all the questions and interfering people at the mo.
Pozzled - completely identify with what you have written, the idea of an actual baby living in my house and needing me seems like a very far away cray silly idea.
It is absolutely something I wanted, now its happened I just feel very weird, I'm going to blame hormones I think
SeñoritaViva - I can go to her grave, have tended to avoid it for lack of knowing the appropriate thing to do, perhaps this is the time to do all those things, just found out I am likely to be due around her birthday so maybe its fate
you are all so wise
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