38 weeks today - worried about coping after the birth, sorry a bit ranty!(6 Posts)
I live with my DH in Manchester, quite close to his family, but mine are in leicester. We had initially planned for my mum and dad to come up in the week after the birth for a few days (staying in a hotel near us, because we have a pokey house!) to meet their first grandchild and just generally help us both out.
My Dad has been really unwell and ended up in intensive care after what should have been a routine operation on his heart about 3 weeks ago. He's getting better, and is finally back at home. After speaking with my mum on the phone earlier told me he's not going to be well enough to come and visit, and she can't leave him at home alone overnight, which I totally understand.
Not really very close to the in laws. (Mother in law came round at the weekend for tea and didn't even ask me how my Dad was?! I've seen the in laws maybe twice in entire 9 months.) I'm dreading them coming round to visit when i know mine won't be able to for a while.
Feeling pretty lonely and tearful. Anyone had a similar experience or can offer some kind words?
im sorry about your dad, glad that he is getting better as far as being worried after birth you will be fine, you will have your husband, its a shame your parents cant be there but alot of women manage to cope completely on there own (single mums) and they do an amazing job, my mum was there with me in labour, (her inviting herself along) but as soon a dd was born she went home, saw her the next day for 20min then didn't see her for another 2weeks after that, i managed fine and DH had to go back to work 3days after we got home from hospital, i admit i was a bit nervous being completely on my own, but looking back not sure why.. DS due in 14weeks DM will look after dd while in labour, but as soon as we discharged from hospital we will pick dd up and go home on our own. DH and I are only 23, we can manage and im sure you will to! i wish you all the best
Sorry to hear about your dad, that must be really stressful but glad he's on the mend
I don't think you need to panic - you'll be fine, honestly. There might be some things that go a bit to pot for a bit (like your ironing mounting up) that your mum might have been able to help with, but you and your husband will work as a team to get the vital things done.
I can totally empathise though, I'm due to be a first time mum too, my parents live far away and are coming for a quick visit just after the birth but not staying, my MIL the same but she's pretty elderly and can't do much anyway. My DH may be working so I perhaps won't even have him around! I am totally bricking it but once I (and you) have done it it will feel like it's a major achievement and like we can cope with anything
Thanks ladies! I think I just need a kick up the bum to pull myself together and get on with things!
I assume that your DH will have some time off when the baby arrives? IME you'll cope fine while there are 2 of you around. If you start mixing grandmas in you might find that DH feels like something of a spare part!
I suggest you have some friends on standby for when DH goes back to work, who'll drop in for coffee/baby-holding/ironing.
I've had 3 DC and managed them all without anybody coming to stay. You can do it.
You will be fine, my parents live in NZ and I will be relying on phone calls and skype until I can see them. I am slightly nervous about it all (we also have 2 dogs which love to bark at anything new) so am preparing myself for our house to be utter chaos. My OH's dad has said he's happy to help out wherever he can (his mum is disabled so not that practical but very good at knitting) but its not the same. We'll all muddle through it just fine, I've found the support and advice on MN to be very good
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