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Readiness and knowing what you want!

(16 Posts)
CompactDisc Mon 05-Sep-11 15:15:46

Hello everyone,

Call me cookie whatever I don't mind, but hubby and I had talked about having children, baby names, pregnancy etc. way before we actually were pregnant.

So, by the time was pregnant with daughter, we had all her names, doctor and hospital chosen, how I wanted to give birth (epidural with stand-by c-section) and I wanted a private room. Same things for son, names, doctor etc.

Well, let's say some things did not turn out as planned and cause me and hubby health horrors (not getting into that again sorry!), second time around was much better in the fact of less people around but nasty doctors did things to my bits that after over 20 years I'm suffering with.

My niece is nearly ready to pop out, since we are in September I would say about 3 weeks or so to go, with twins - nullipar. Asked the standard questions: decided on delivery yet? answer - nope, wait and see; decided on names yet? answer - nope, waiting till we see the boys?

Come on, either it's arguments or she just don't want to tell me, since I'm just the aunt on her husband's side, but really for me who wanted just to help I feel left out!

Let's talk - Later CD

Crosshair Mon 05-Sep-11 15:18:19


moomsy Mon 05-Sep-11 15:28:47

If your niece is like me... she probably doesn't fancy telling you what she is planning because she cannot bear the family interference help

Specially with names... It's annoying when you say a name and people laugh or crack a joke.

Tell them once the baby is out and they won't have the courage to give their ten pence piece of mind.

Sorry to be harsh.

MissRee Mon 05-Sep-11 16:07:37

I agree with moomsy! I'm actively avoiding baby/birth/name discussions with family as I'm fed up with being told birth horror stories/name anecdotes/how my tiredness is just me being lazy...

feekerry Mon 05-Sep-11 16:17:53

Sorry but I have to agree with the above posters. Frankly I dont see what business it is of my relatives to know all those details and I actively avoid discussing it with them and if i'm asked I just reply with dont know or similar. Maybe its just my pregnancy hormones but it actually really winds me up that relatives quiz me about these things. Sorry but it really gets to me!x

cravingcake Mon 05-Sep-11 16:46:31

I tend to agree with the other posters but would also say that I'm sure she knows you want to help and feel included, but remember so does every other female relative/neighbor/friend/work colleague so she may just be a bit overwhelmed by all the questioning and especially with twins on the way.

To be most helpful perhaps read up on what might be most useful to her once the babies arrive and then once they are here you will know the right things to say and do so she appreciates your input (for example when you visit offer to take her ironing and return it the next day all done) rather than you being another annoying (sorry) relative who just wants to see the babies.

Haribojoe Mon 05-Sep-11 20:06:07

I agree with previous posters.

Also (and this is not a judgement merely an observation) some people really are that laid back, they're just happy to take things as they come and deal with them accordingly be that names, birth, method of feeding etc.

CompactDisc Mon 05-Sep-11 22:28:45

Okay I accept your opinion, that's fine and thank you much appreciated.

We sent them a baby-shower package about a month after they told us they were expecting twins. Got a thank you note!

If I had the courage to tell you the whole truth, you would not want to stand in my shoes for even two days. No I'm not looking for pity, at my age I have done more time getting used to all that's in and out of my life.

Just to say quickly, no birthdays celebrated, engagement party with hubby ruined by sibling, no wedding shower, sibling family did not come to wedding which they ridiculed, jealousy over both pregnancies by sibling.

I'm just curious by nature and do not want in any way to intrude! As far as hubby and I know, we'll probably never see the kids, neither side can afford the travelling cost, only communication is by email.

I love both my nephew and my niece, good luck to them, I'm pulling out of their lives.

Needless to say, I'll help where I can here when you ask and I'll do it, I'm not bitter and am very generous.

Thank you! Later CD

DirtyMartini Mon 05-Sep-11 22:33:18

Weird thread. You're pulling out of their lives? I thought you said before that you wanted to help?


DirtyMartini Mon 05-Sep-11 22:34:25

Oh I put an extra square bracket after the "confused" face, and it looks like it's scratching its head. I'm quite pleased with that.

Unexpected benefit of the weird thread.

RealityVonCrapp Mon 05-Sep-11 22:39:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DirtyMartini Mon 05-Sep-11 23:11:10


Crosshair Mon 05-Sep-11 23:52:59


LoveInAColdClimate Tue 06-Sep-11 07:26:43


sleepevader Tue 06-Sep-11 07:30:05


HoneyPablo Tue 06-Sep-11 07:35:07


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