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WTF?! Outspoken comments on your pregnant body

(54 Posts)
HotPinkGingham Mon 05-Sep-11 13:30:23

So, one of the cleaners at work just came up to me, pointed at my arse and said 'hey, you got fat!'.

I was a bit dumb struck, then she said, 'well you are pregnant aren't you?'. I'm only 11.5 weeks and we have told no one at all, I'm not even showing (apart from a bit of tummy bloating when I have bad gas, but you know). At last weigh in I had put on 1kg since pre-pregnancy so I've hardly ballooned. When I asked her how she knew she said, 'I'm a mother, eh? Anyway, I don't know why you're upset - you're pregnant, you are going to get REALLY FAT so you'd better get used to it'. Erm, thanks!

So, what was your best/worst personal pregnancy remark? Any witty comebacks?

Flisspaps Mon 05-Sep-11 13:32:01

If she says anything else, say to her "That came across as being rude, did you mean to be rude?"

Besides, if she had any sense, she'd know that it's not fat, it's a BABY. It's not like you spend 9 months retaining cake and then it magically turns into a human being on the way out.

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 05-Sep-11 13:33:09

WTF???!!! I'm sorry, but that's just not normal behaviour! I was outraged when someone at work congratulated me on my bump before I'd made an announcement but your experience takes things to a whole new level of rudeness!

mummyplonk Mon 05-Sep-11 13:37:05

oh How rude Gingham.

I had "Oh, you are finally going to get some Boobs at last I bet your pleased" hmm

moomsy Mon 05-Sep-11 13:44:48

I found that I put on most of my weight at the very start and first trimester. Remember you retain a lot of water and your shape changes so don't be so stuck on weight numbers.

It's one time when you have to keep cool about buying clothes and pants of sizes you never ever browsed before because you know they will be comfy.

I have only had one person saying that ' I put on too much weight' but she is anorexic, had children over 30 years ago and is a total numpty. I didn't even bother saying anything back.

I loved the shape I had from when I started showing until about 7/8 months. I always wore very tight tops and dresses, low cut at the bust and the occasional high heels when I could bear it.

Can't say I love it now that I am 40 weeks though but we can all diet and excercise back to a shape we are happy with once this is all done smile

Enjoy your time!!!

goodnightmoon Mon 05-Sep-11 13:48:50

some cultures see fat as a good thing, particularly in pregnancy, so try not to be too offended! At least she was correct in her observation.

I haven't had anyr eally awful comments, but when my osteopath asked how much i'd gained in my first pregnancy and I said 25 lbs or around 2 stone--which is quite modest--she made an exclamation about how much it was. apparently she gained a mere half-stone herself - NOT HEALTHY! (she is skinny)

she went on to ask me if I'd ever been extremely overweight, which I also found odd, since I'm a totally normal weight both pre and mid-pregnancy!

YouDoTheMath Mon 05-Sep-11 14:07:25

I think it's strange how people think they can make fat comments just because you're pregnant. Under any other circumstances, you wouldn't just walk up to someone and mention their weight, would you?

I'm not the sensitive type at all - my friend addressed me as "Fatty" the other day, and whilst I didn't mind, it occurred to me that if I said the same to her if she was pregnant, she'd be upset.

The other one that REALLY gets on my nerves (slightly off topic) is when people assess the shape/position of your bump and declare what the sex of your baby will be, despite that fact that even YOU don't know because you chose not to find out.

hawthers Mon 05-Sep-11 14:12:28

ooh YouDoTheMath the head of room at my son's nursery took it upon herself to fondle my bump and declare loudly that i'm having a girl - humph not impressed.

Felt like fondling hers and declaring she was clearly having a supersize bic mac and fries....

YouDoTheMath Mon 05-Sep-11 14:19:18

hawthers it is really annoying. I know they mean well and it's a bit of fun, but it's not their business to ram their opinion at you just because they've given you the once-over and you're carrying similarly to how they did with their DS/DD.

I mean seriously, unless you're literally psychic or you have ultrasound capabilities, how could you possibly know? hmm

moomsy Mon 05-Sep-11 14:20:07

Youdothemath & hawthers LOL!!!

I know the sex anyway (girl) but for months I have had all the oldies around me giving me this crap and saying I have a boy bump. I have even had someone saying that I must be having a boy because I don't have a fat nose... WTF!!

If I didn't know the sex that would be driving me nuts!

kenobi Mon 05-Sep-11 14:28:12

When I was 6 months with DD, I went to a party and bumped into an ex boyfriend of mine who I'm normally quite fond of.
He went on and on at me for about 10 minutes. "Wow you're so big! Look at you! You're Huge!" etc etc. The clincher was when he went "You're even bigger than my wife when she was at full term!"

Then just to make sure I felt really shit, heis brother came over and said, "Hi kenobi, are you having twins? HA HA HAAA!"

I never wore that top again sad

cravingcake Mon 05-Sep-11 15:17:01

My OH started telling me I was getting a fat belly in my first trimester, I simply explained to him that it was not fat but a Maternal Storage Unit. He then asked how does that explain my fat bum, to which I told him thats the counter balance so I dont fall over!

Empusa Mon 05-Sep-11 15:20:34

"Felt like fondling hers and declaring she was clearly having a supersize bic mac and fries...."

I'm saving that one!! grin

PottyRefusnik Mon 05-Sep-11 15:26:03

I remember having one day where I went into somewhere like M&S in the morning, woman on the till asked how far along I was and replied with 'gosh, isn't your bump small!'

The same day I also went into Asda and had the same conversation at the till and the woman replied 'wow, you're bigger than I was with twins!'

So in M&S I was small for dates and in Asda later that day I was bigger than a twin pregnancy!

AuroraLeigh Mon 05-Sep-11 15:30:13

When we told my aunt, she said "Well you've left it a bit late now, at your age..." (I'm 35). I tried to explain that not everyone has their children in their twenties and that this is considered ok, but she didn't believe me. Am also sick of people saying "What a big bump! Are you sure it's not twins? Oh, dear...". Yes, it's a big baby. I can't help it.
Actually, being pregnant has made me much more stroppy than I was before. I quite like it smile

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 05-Sep-11 15:30:47

I've never been pregnant, but from everything I hear it does seem to me that a pregnant woman's body is considered fair game for all sorts of comments. Not surprising really seeing as women's bodies in general in our culture are treated as something to be scrutinised and criticised.

I really hate this use of the word 'fat' for when someone's pregnant and I love craving's term – Maternal Storage Unit. A friend of mine in late pregnancy moaned to me and DP 'I'm so fat!' I had to bite my tongue not to yell at her in sheer frustration. Luckily DP said very sweetly 'That's not fat, it's a baby, it's beautiful'. He is a much nicer and less impatient person than I am. grin

BumpinBlue Mon 05-Sep-11 15:31:01

I dont understand why being pregnant automatically means your public property. Iam 29weeks and the amount of people who have made their own comments/tried to touch the bump has been unreal.
I've had the whole 'Are you sure theres not 2 in there?' which gets a bit boring after a while.
'My goodness your BIG!' 'Yes, yes I am. Iam also pregnant, whats your excuse?'
A lady I worked with said my bump was 'disgusting' and it freaked her out, every day was new comments at the size I was growing, she said the only thing worse than a bump was breastfeeding and that she cant stand women who 'feel the need' to do it in public. I had to walk away before saying something I would later regret. Now that iam not at work and dont plan on returning Iam kicking myself for not saying anything to her. Nasty old cretin.

MistyMountainHop Mon 05-Sep-11 15:37:44

haha i had that when i was about 8 weeks pg with dc2, i told a couple of people at work and and one them went, "yeah i thought you looked a bit fat" shock i was still bloody stick thin the cheeky mare!!

FairyArmadillo Mon 05-Sep-11 15:39:07

Your colleague sounds charming, Bumpinblue!

The worst response to my pregnancy was by a cleaner and complete stranger at a place I was temping in. I was hoping she was kidding but she was completely serious about suggesting I have an abortion before it was too late because she couldn't stand her kids. It wasn't just dry Scottish humour and I was too taken aback to reply!

Insomnia11 Mon 05-Sep-11 15:41:32

My female boss addressed me as "Fatty" quite often when I was having DD2, but we know one another well enough for it to be funny.

I really hate this use of the word 'fat' for when someone's pregnant and I love craving's term – Maternal Storage Unit. A friend of mine in late pregnancy moaned to me and DP 'I'm so fat!' I had to bite my tongue not to yell at her in sheer frustration.

First pregnancy I put four stone on. I definitely moaned about being fat every now and then at the end, you know it's because of the baby in there (though it could have something to do with chips and cake as well smile) but still feel immensely fat. Especially as it was 30-35C in the last few weeks.

Secong pregnancy I put on two and a half stone, but I was heavier to start with. I was exactly the same weight at full term, and each pregnancy lasted just over 41 weeks. Didn't feel half as uncomfortable at the end though as DD2 was born in the heavy snows and it was like having my own central heating.

MadamDeathstare Mon 05-Sep-11 15:48:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thesurgeonsmate Mon 05-Sep-11 15:50:23

The bathroom at work is at the bottom of two flights of stairs. Needless to say that towards the end of my pregnancy I was a well kent figure to the chap manning the reception desk that is at the top of the two flights. His comment one day was well-judged, I thought. "You're getting slower up those stairs!" Undeniably true, and not judged by anyone else's size speed or shape.

Africagirl1 Mon 05-Sep-11 15:51:23

Oh yes! Our receptionist said "wow you;ve put on weight. being fat looks good on you". WHAAAAATTTTT?

Fluter Mon 05-Sep-11 16:44:59

I seem to have pretty much escaped these from random people I don't know commenting, or people who I barely know being rude - OH occasionally exclaims that I'm enormous or huge or I've grown overnight, and if I moan about my spreading backside, he's the one that says it's only to act as a balance to my bump (which is a twin one...), and points out that it'll all go... Bless him. I knew there was a reason I married him smile

The physio did say I was big even for twins though. But I'm assuming that was a professional observation grin

pregnantmimi Tue 06-Sep-11 05:08:51

I have got a massive bump for 24 weeks and have put on 2 and a half stone. But 5 months before I got pregnant I lost 3 stone so Im still thinner than then but I get called "fatty" at work but no one said this whe I was 3 stone bigger I also get "sure theres not two in there" it made me laugh by now Im sick of hearing it. Also the "your huge" is starting to grate on me. Not everyone has a tiny bump. Oh I got the "your big all over" comment a few times. I would never say that to a pregnant woman. I just respond with "im not fat im pregnant" lol

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