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Pregnancy

Might be OTT but how come people just get pregnant without planning?

59 replies

Sandra2011 · 05/09/2011 10:21

Even contraception is free in UK.

I'm from Scandinavia where you have to pay for your contraception (not cheap!), still there is no problem with teenage pregnancies and I personally don't know anyone who's children were not planned.

I'm talking about people who were born after the 60's.

Is it because we have sex education in school?
When I was school age that education started at 11.

OP posts:
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Bartimaeus · 05/09/2011 10:46

No contraceptive is 100%.

I know of 2 doctors who got pregnant whilst on the pill - it can happen even to the most clued up people.

I also know someone who TTC for years without success. They decided to give up, but thought they didn't need contraceptive anymore as obviously there was no "risk" of getting pregnant. She did, totally unplanned (which was great news).

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spookshowangellovesit · 05/09/2011 10:46

its called sex, you have it and the sperm joins with the egg. i had sex education from the age of about 9 i knew about contraception i still got pregnant at 17, because young people can be stupid. then i got pregnant 4 months ago while on the pill so that was unplanned, and i was on contraception (double dose, because of the medication i am on) no contraception in 100% not even sterilisation.

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SheldonsBazinga · 05/09/2011 10:49

The only form of contraception that is 100% guaranteed is abstinence.

Why would people tell you if their children were or were not planned? The only time I've ever given out that information is to my MW.

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ToriaPumpkinPasty · 05/09/2011 10:53

I know someone who is a pharmacologist who actually worked on the development of a certain contraceptive implant. Both his daughters were unplanned due to Pill failures. These things happen.

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spookshowangellovesit · 05/09/2011 10:57

maybe they have special contraception in Scandinavia, that they dont tell us about her in good old blighty thats 100% and thats why they have absolutely no teenage pregnancy or unplanned children.

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spookshowangellovesit · 05/09/2011 10:59

sorry there should have been a sceptic face after that Hmm

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RitaMorgan · 05/09/2011 11:00

Sometimes contraception doesn't work.

Sometimes people don't use contraception.

Sometimes teenagers want to get pregnant.

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pantspantspants · 05/09/2011 11:00

As someone who had 2 planned pregnancies and struggled with conceiving. I also was a bit confused how its so common. obviously for some people as no contraception is 100% they will fall pregnant even with the best will in the world. My friend fell with the pill, then the implant and then the coil, 3DCs later doctors have told her she's just in the 1%.

I'm currently pregnant with Dc3 after falling pregnant with the patch. On talking to doctors and the midwife, eventhough I was an ideal candidate for the patch and on it for a while, its a common one to not work occasionally. Even when using it strictly people fall pregnant.

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spookshowangellovesit · 05/09/2011 11:02

dont Scandinavian countries have proportionality higher abortion rates though, so i suppose that would make sense, in the the sense that people are having unplanned pregnancies they are just not carrying them to term...(willing to be corrected)

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motherinferior · 05/09/2011 11:05

Because if you're 36, you've pretty well given up, gloomily, on any prospect of a relationship working out in a manner that provides children, and you take up with someone new who seems actually to want to be nice to you, it is tempting to think 'what the hell, I'm probably too old anyway', take a chance at a point in your (usually clockwork) cycle when the risk is very low, and find yourself up the duff, OK?

It must be frightfully nice to have a tidy life. Some of us aren't that lucky.

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margerykemp · 05/09/2011 11:08

Teenagers are a lot more fertile than 30 somethings. Lots of men inc teen boys refuse to use condoms and girls/ girls parents are often too embarassed to go to the gp for pills. Or they dont want to be pumped full of hormones or have had bad side effects in the past.

The only 17yo i know who got pg was having unprotected sex for months befotehand. It was her route out of her parents house and her crappy factory job.

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MrsTittleMouse · 05/09/2011 11:15

I can understand it. In the real world, condoms split or fall off (it happened to me twice with DH), people don't realise that their medication has interferred with the pill, coils wiggle out of place.

I might out myself here, but I know someone who realised that she was taking Wednesday's pill on Tuesday - so she went to the doctor and got the MAP (very sensible), was told to take extra precautions until the end of the month, so used condoms (v sensible again)... until one broke inside her. At which point she went back to the doctor and got a coil fitted. Four different types of contraception in one month! It was fine as she was a student and had plenty of time to get herself to the doctor multiple times, and pick up the MAP and condoms from the chemist. But if she'd been working, or a single Mum, or somewhere rural with no car and poor public transport, I could easily understand how she might have thought "stuff it, it probably won't happen" and taken the risk.

Talking of taking risks, I do have a lot of sympathy, as after years of religious use of condoms DH and I got engaged, and we were so swept along with lust love that we took a lot more risks. Had we not been infertile, I could have well ended up pregnant for the wedding. Blush

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AngryBeaver · 05/09/2011 11:23

Because, after several vodka and cokes and a lot of fun sex..we weren't quite as careful as we usually are. Hey presto,dc4 is on the way Shock

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MrsTittleMouse · 05/09/2011 11:40

That's true; there is a great one-word answer for this question - alcohol!

So pregnancies are all planned in Scandinavia because alcohol is so expensive that no-one can afford to get drunk. Grin

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Scheherezade · 05/09/2011 11:43

haha, pretty much ditto to angrybeaver!

We'd had a lovely christmas and new year, got very snuggly one cold January morning Grin Afterwards did think "what if" but also thought "ah well, if it happens, it happens". We had discussed having a baby, but weren't planning or had that morning clinically intending to conceive.

Before I met DP, I always used contraception.

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BedHog · 05/09/2011 11:44

I don't know, but I went to university with a lot of Norwegian and Swedish people and they were the ones that slept around the most, and were the least bothered about contraception. One even pierced his own bell end, meaning he couldn't wear condoms for a few months. Didn't stop his sexual activities.

Sex ed in my school started at 7. 11 seems quite late.

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goodnightmoon · 05/09/2011 11:46

contraception used properly is very effective. If someone gets pregnant while on the pill they probably didn't follow the instructions properly.
i too don't understand why people take risks they don't want, even teenagers. They should be using condoms anyway because of STDs.

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aliceliddell · 05/09/2011 11:56

yy MrsTittlemouse
Or you can be 39, on pill, come off pill, go on cap, take 3 kinds of medication known to decrease fertility, be told by gp it is very unlikely you could conceive, wait til trousers don't fit, get test, get no result, get test again, ROFL, 5 months later - have baby. Simples Confused

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MrsTittleMouse · 05/09/2011 12:41

goodnightmoon - did you know that being over a certain weight can make the pill less effective?
contraception.about.com/od/thepill/i/overweight.htm
It's not just about taking a tablet everyday and then you're automatically OK. Even the doctors and pharmaceutical companies didn't know that the pill wasn't as effective for overweight women until this study in 2005. So it would be a bit unfair to blame the women who got pregnant while on the pill. Hmm

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kirsty12321 · 05/09/2011 12:54

I'm 19 and pregnant, so just another statistic.
Apart from the fact I'm a full time (50 hours minimum a week) employee in a career I've trained and studied to be in,
Me and my partner were using the mini pill and condoms and we still managed to get pregnant, not every teenage pregnancy is due to carelessness and stupid thinking!
This is very much a surprise pregnancy but now it's here it's a very much wanted situation, if there was a guaranteed 100% form Of contraception in the UK I would of been using it.

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NormanTebbit · 05/09/2011 13:00

Dd3 was unplanned Blush we justhad an
'It'll be ok' moment and DD3 was the result. A surprise at 35 especially as it took me ages to conceive DD1 at 30.

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AppleyEverAfter · 05/09/2011 13:07

I am 37 weeks (with planned baby) but was pretty shocked to receive some info from the midwife, in a booklet, on post-natal contraception, which states that the natural family planning method is up to 98% successful. Which is basically avoiding sex during the times in your cycle when you're most fertile. This cannot be right, surely? 98%?! It also states that the pill is 99% effective but I don't think this takes into account anomalies, like if the pill fails due to sickness, other medication etc. I am quite surprised about the government advice TBH, especially when there are so many unwanted pregnancies and women who get pregnant while on the pill. Think there is more research needed into this! I know it's easy to say but if you really don't want to get pregnant then you've got to double up... condoms and pills! I defy ANYONE to tell me that's ever failed.

There is also a lot of talk about breastfeeding acting as a contraceptive and we all know how unreliable THAT advice is, just check out some of the 'my kids will be 12 months apart in age' threads on here, written by shell-shocked BFing mums who found themselves up the duff again so soon!

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PeggyCarter · 05/09/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrskbpw · 05/09/2011 13:28

I am SUPER broody and desperate for another baby. My husband is much less keen. I would never, ever stop taking the pill without telling him, but am secretly hoping for a 'surprise' pregnancy. In reality though I know it took 8 months of trying pretty hard to get pregnant first time, and 6 months second time round, so my chances are low...!

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goodnightmoon · 05/09/2011 13:53

mrstittlemouse - they must have known a lot sooner than that because I was on the pill since around 1985 and I was always asked at my check-ups (this was in another country) whether i'd gained or lost weight, so that they could adjust my dosage. That's too bad that some doctors don't know enough to advise their patients.

anyway, i'll put forward one theory - that most girls and adult women have very little idea how their cycle actually works and don't understand that sperm can survive for as long as a week.

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