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Breast feeding???

(22 Posts)
steph01 Sun 04-Sep-11 12:17:21

want to try breast feeding but not sure cos i dont want to breast feed when im out and i dont like the look of a breeast pump and having to pump milk out all the time. what to do????
think i'd prefer formular milk, what bottles to buy????
so much to think about!!!!!!!!!!!

Flisspaps Sun 04-Sep-11 12:22:07

You're better off not expressing (manually or using a pump) and then bottle feeding BM (or mixed feeding using BM and formula) for the first few weeks as you need to allow plenty of time for your supply to build up and produce the right amount for your baby, and for you and your baby to get the hang of what you're doing.

My big fear with DD was BF when I was out and about and I abandoned it at 7 weeks because of the fear of embarrassment. I am determined next time that I won't let my worry of other people's feelings stop me BF in public.

Why not give it a go (even just at home, you might be one of those people who get the hang of it straight away) and then if you don't feel comfortable, then think about bottles and formula? smile

FetchezLaVache Sun 04-Sep-11 12:22:47

Hi, good on you for considering it! FWIW you don't have to bother with a breast pump at all if you don't want to and you don't even have to feed out and about if you don't fancy it, once you start to get into some semblance of a routine you can time your outings around feeds. It makes it a lot easier if you do, though. To start with I mainly sat in the car to feed DS, but I stopped giving a shite what other people might think quite quickly- largely because I only ever got support from other people when feeding in public- broad grins, thumbs up etc.

Give it a try- you can always swap to formula later if it doesn't work out- much harder the other way round!

mistressploppy Sun 04-Sep-11 12:27:45


Good advice from Flisspaps. It'll probably be a little while after the birth that you can be bothered to go out anyway, so I'd give breastfeeding a go and see how you find it. It can be hard at first but usually gets easier quite quickly, and it's SO much more convenient than bottles!

You can always buy some formula and bottles later if you want to, same for a breast-pump.

I quickly found loads of places to breastfeed when out (like changing rooms in Marks and Spencers!) but I soon found I didn't care, and was happy to do it on a park bench. No-one can see anything anyway, most people didn't even notice.

Fresh01 Sun 04-Sep-11 13:19:14

Hi, took me about 7 weeks to have the confidence to try breastfeeding in public with my first. You quickly get the hang of doing it discretely so most people wouldn't even know you are feeding. I always wear a vest under my top so you lift up top and slide vest down under side you are feeding from, exposes very little flesh. I just lean over baby when attaching then sit up straight again and noone can see anything. You feel more vulnerable without the vest as you have a flabby tummy to hide too : )

Remember there is always you can you can go back to if you don't want to feed in public, comfy seat and radio.

Fresh01 Sun 04-Sep-11 14:18:21

Sorry car to go back to!

nannyl Sun 04-Sep-11 14:31:35

would a bebe au lait make you feel any more comfortable when feeding out and about.

you can see baby, but no one else at all can see baby or your breast?

FetchezLaVache Sun 04-Sep-11 14:50:06

Mistressploppy- I'd forgotten about the mother & baby rooms! In my town, M&S, Debenhams and Mothercare have them. A godsend.

bigeyes Sun 04-Sep-11 15:06:15

I breastfed my DS until he was 4 weeks. I gave up because one nipple was very sore and had turned white. I was upset, tired and it was late at night when I handed him to DH for formula feed.

A health visitor turned and said to her trainee only a few days beforehand 'look he's flattend the nipple' and told me I didnt have my positioning/latching on correct. Despite being told by others before leaving hospital that he was feeding fine. DH commented that nipple had always been shaped like a pear drop blush which is different to the other one - which was sore but not very and not white.

I can also remeber nearly being in tears on the way back fromt he shops as DS wanted a feed and we had to race back to get him in the house and fed.
So like you steph01 I did have a fear of this and I am determined to be more proactive, it also helped being around someone last year who BF all the time when out and about usually at play places etc.

My plan this time is:

Go to the BFeeding classes before birth
Joing a BF support group afterwards and take any other help
I will discuss my nipple shapes blush! with my MW and whoever
I will identify places that have mother and baby rooms until I get used to the hitch up n latch on when out and about
I want to learn how to express using a pump when BF established
Basically learn more from wherever I can

I can also remember concentrating on how to 'do it' last time before the birth of my DS and did not appreciate the commitment from an emotional/mental point of view in terms of planning out and about. I keep thinking how I will get BF's done either side of the twice daily school run.

Thanks for starting thread, hopefully more pro's will be along with more advice too.

G1nger Sun 04-Sep-11 15:24:17

This might help:

steph01 Sun 04-Sep-11 18:06:27

what about when my partner wants to feed him?

lollystix Sun 04-Sep-11 18:22:19

I felt very conscious feeding out with ds1 for the first few weeks. Took 3 weeks to get bf established and all my boobs needed to be out so I expressed bottles for out whilst I got the hang of it.

Persevere though and you won't regret it. I got to the point I didn't care what people thought and you do get alot of positive smiles when you're out.

Bf when out is SO much easier than bottles. Baby starts crying, find nearest chair and shove boob in. Instant peace. Versus flapping to find nearest coffee shop to get hot water to heat bottle (very slowly) in cos the won't microwave it for u due to health and safety. Obligatory purchase of coffee, fanny on with powder. Meanwhile 20 mins of pure screaming and everyone feels stressed.
Feeding also cheaper and the weight literally drops off. I got all my 3 on bottles of expressed from about 3 -4 weeks old so dh could also feed and we wouldn't have issues at 8-9 months with getting them off your boobs.

Flisspaps Sun 04-Sep-11 18:49:28

Steph01 Well, if you plan to EBF then your partner simply can't feed for the first few weeks really, as you need to establish feeding first. After the first few weeks when you've got your milk supply sorted, you can express and DP can then feed with EBM from a bottle.

Until then, he could do something else that's just for him to do - bathtime, massage and even a bedtime story (you can BF and he can sit near and read a book to baby for one of the evening feeds), or the three of you can snuggle up on the sofa while you feed baby.

MiauMau Sun 04-Sep-11 19:25:37

I'm definitely going to breastfeed and not care about what others think (it's their problem if they don't like it), it's the most natural and beautiful thing in the world. It connects you to your child in a way that no fancy bottle can.
My mum breastfed me and my two much younger siblings, so I remember seeing her doing it in public with no care in the world.

Moulesfrites Sun 04-Sep-11 19:37:29

steph, you should have a look at the bf/bottle feeding section on here, there is loads of advice.

I am bf my ds who is 7mo. I have fed him in pretty much every cafe/park/shopping centre in my local area. I am quite self conscious and was worried about feeding in public, but I think once he was born I just stopped caring what people thought - he is hungry and needs to be fed, that is that! I have never had a funny look or comment from anyone - you can't see anything anyway - a screaming hungry baby is far more noticeable.

WRT your partner - there are plenty of other things he can do with the baby - cuddle, sing to, talk to, bath, change, massage, etc. BF is so beneficial for your baby and I'm sure your partner will be mature enough to see that the benefits of bf outweigh his own desire to feed the baby.

I would give it a good few weeks before expressing at first. Then you can see how well you get on with it. I can't really be bothered with it, find it a bit of a faff and much easier to feed, although on the 4 nights out I have had since my ds was born, he has taken ebf from a bottle no problem (although this might be unusual).

Def find out if there is a bf group near you.

Astronaut79 Sun 04-Sep-11 19:37:53

Give it a go and don't put the negatives in the way.

Expect it to hurt like hell for about 4 weeks, then it will click and you will feel triumphant. Keep paracetamol handy.

Pester the midwives etc to keep checking your latch and that you're doing it right. Join a support group so you can whinge all you want, to others that totally get it.

Get someone to come with you the first time you BF in public. I was already for a fight, and no-one even noticed! Taking a toddler out is much more stressful.

Don't be put off by having to feed in teh night whilst ff babies sleep through - you get usd to it v quickly and it beats having to make bottles up.

And if none of that works, think about the calories you're burning!

why5am Sun 04-Sep-11 20:16:54

I think it's worth taking your time, giving it a go and getting support on any and every aspect and then making a decision about what works best for you and your baby.
For feeding in public (if it is something you later want to do) try going to a local baby and mum coffee morning/tea group where you'll never be the only one feeding or you're in someone's home.
I'm also an advocate of the vest top underneath that pulls down and a top over it that pulls up - very discrete.
I was terrified the first time I fed in public and then had a feeling of real liberation and elation afterwards. You can plan roughly where you can be and plan out your day around access to parent and baby rooms or cafes with quiet corners with your back to everyone else.
The first few weeks are definitely the hardest so if you can get through that, you can do anything re breastfeeding.
Good luck and if you decide to not to breastfeed then don't be rattled by anyone else's view (in either direction). As a wise person once said to me - 'just be really grateful there's an alternative to breastfeeding- it's a relatively recent thing...'

notcitrus Sun 04-Sep-11 20:38:24

I'd say give breastfeeding a go, because my experience is about 1/3 of women find it really easy - as my SIL said, she just stuck her breast in her ds's mouth and it worked great! Another 1/3 find it a bit painful and tricky but with a bit of help can get it to work. The rest if they get enough help may be able to get it to work but that help may not be available when they need it.

I was in one of the last two categories, but sought out help and by 6 weeks was willing to try feeding outside of the house - I wasn't going far before that so just went home when feeds were likely. Maybe think about where might be a secluded place or somewhere you'd feel comfortable to try feeding outside the house? After that it was great being able to go out to cafes etc and not have to worry about taking milk with me, though I did use the odd bit of formula too.

I never had any funny looks or anything about breastfeeding - anything that shut up a screaming baby seemed to be approved of!

Your partner can do so many other things for the baby, cuddling, winding, rocking, nappy changes and getting dressed, entertaining, bathing... it's only 6 months before baby will be trying food and he can feed the baby then.

Good luck!

cowboylover Sun 04-Sep-11 23:23:50

Some good advise already here so to echo that.

I was very uncomfortable with the thought of feeding in public to start with but it's fine and gets easier. My DH said he thought I should go in the toilet to start with but we both soon got the habit of it, it's so easy and quick!

With regards to partner doing feeds I agree that theres lots of other things he can do. Mine is a champion burper so DD gets fed and handed over for a cuddle and a burp.

A great tip I had was give yourself plenty if time to get used to in the comfort of home so restrict visitors ect when needed

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Mon 05-Sep-11 04:27:55

give it a go. You can change to formula if you want but it's much harder to do it the other way round.

Mentally set aside the first 6 weeks to snuggle and feed (and eat cake). Restrict visitors! If you get out it's a bonus. Trying to "get back to normal" is a recipie for disaster, esp re bf. Take the pressure off.

You may be suprised to find you don't care about bf in public. Certainly no one will notice.

Look on the bf board and check out the bennimo.s to you and the lo...they go much further than people realise imo.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Mon 05-Sep-11 04:29:46

benefits sorry...typo error!

LoveInAColdClimate Mon 05-Sep-11 08:07:11

shock at your DH's suggestion of feeding in the loo, cowboylover! Was he trying to shield your modesty grin?

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