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Friends kids have just freaked me out ... am I non-maternal?

(22 Posts)
Newmummytobe79 Tue 30-Aug-11 14:24:41

Before I start - I'm sure all will be fine - nervous grin - and our baby is very much planned and wanted ... but my friend has just been round with her kids. They did nothing but fight, argue, cling to their mum and put their hands through the cat flap ... oh maybe 200 times to make it bang!

I love my friend, her kids are normally very good but today I wished I could follow my freaked out cat out of the catflap and into the safety of the garden!

I'm due this week and now very scared!

Anyone else feel this way? x

MsChanandlerBong Tue 30-Aug-11 14:27:38

I had a similar visit from a friend with child on Sunday... left me feeling rather worried to say the least!! No real words of wisdom as this is my first dc, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone, and as you said, I'm sure we'll be fine confused grin

BedHog Tue 30-Aug-11 14:29:40

Never base your opinions on other people's children. Other people's children are annoying, whingy, shouty, horrible, spiteful etc. Your own will be completely different when you factor in how much you love them (although other people may view your children in much the same way as you view theirs!)

Good luck - you will be fine.

bagpusss Tue 30-Aug-11 14:30:15

It's nothing to worry about. All children are different, and you'll get used to yours, nomatter how well or badly behaved they are. You'll be fine :-)

lolajane2009 Tue 30-Aug-11 14:30:54

Pregnant or non pregnant I think I would have attempted the cat flap... and I love kids. I really dont think it was you tbh.

PottyRefusnik Tue 30-Aug-11 14:30:59

I, on the whole, do not like other peoples' children. That being said though, I also have a few close friends whose children I genuinely adore.

It has absolutely no bearing on how maternal you are. I think I'm quite maternal, I certainly love my DDs and love being a stay at home mum, I wouldn't want to be anything else now.

But no, sometimes other peoples children have me heading for the hills too!

nunnie Tue 30-Aug-11 14:31:46

I went to my midwife appointment this morning and there were three horrors lovely boys running around screaming, pressing all the buttons on the booking in machine and forcing the older more fragile patients to wait in the corridor behind a closed door. I sat with my DD and DS and thought poop is this what happens when you have 3.

PacificDogwood Tue 30-Aug-11 14:33:45

It will be some time before your baby is able to make the cat flap bang grin!

From somebody who never had any interest in other people's children and now mother of 4, take it from me: your own child is just better different from everybody else's offspring grin.


Newmummytobe79 Tue 30-Aug-11 14:34:48

so glad I'm not the wicked witch I thought I was! grin ... and thanks from my DH and Mum in advance ... without you guys they would have recieved a panic stricken phone call from their wife/daughter asking what on earth she's done! wink x

PacificDogwood Tue 30-Aug-11 14:34:50

Disclaimer: sometimes I want to strangle mine, mind wink, but so far haven't. Not even one. Not even slightly.

Boosaphena Tue 30-Aug-11 14:37:50

Ha ha. I'm a very maternal person, I love being around my children. However Other peoples children do my head in - even my nieces and nephews. I do fear however that other people probably feel that way about my children... I love them, I find them funny and amazing, but if I go and see a friend - especially one in a sensitive state, they save their most irritating, annoying, and BAD behaviour all up and expell it then.
Dont worry about it - her children prob arent that bad, and yours wont matter to you!

ChristinedePizan Tue 30-Aug-11 14:38:30

It is a big mistake to invite toddlers round to your house when you're pregnant. They will horrify you and you will be convinced yours will never behave like that.

But they will grin

Misty9 Tue 30-Aug-11 15:27:32

hehe - I could have written a similar post! Had two recent visits from my brother, his wife and their 15mth old. Both left me thinking 'can I really do this?!' with the amount of mess involved (mostly whilst eating) and the sheer energy required to keep up with a nearly-walking little boy shock. I felt tired just watching from the sofa....and our cat also point blank refused to come in the house!
I'm due on monday, so it's definitely too late to back out... grin. We'll be fine.

Boosaphena Tue 30-Aug-11 15:28:53

Don't forget aswell you build up to that point, you don't get presented with a noisy irritating toddler, it happens over time wink

pommedechocolat Tue 30-Aug-11 15:35:25

It's annoying when they're yours as well. Toddlers are energy suckers.

You do get the lovely cuddles at bedtime and nap time or -watching the telly- other cuddly times when they are yours though. You also get to be ridiculously proud of their growing collection of words and communications tools.

BaronessBomburst Tue 30-Aug-11 15:35:42

Whilst still childless, I was, on one occasion, rather 'overwhelmed' by my cousin's children. "Don't worry," she said, "they don't come out like this. They get progressively worse, but it gives you time to get used to it." grin

keepmumshesnotsodumb Tue 30-Aug-11 15:50:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HPonEverything Tue 30-Aug-11 16:19:33

I avoid other people's children generally, but especially whilst I've been pg, because I know I'd feel exactly the same as you!

aStarInStrangeways Tue 30-Aug-11 16:23:39

When I was 38 weeks pg with DS (much longed-for pfb), we visited SIL and BIL and their 3yo son. DH and I spent the car journey back in horrified near-silence, occasionally muttering 'what have we done?'

DS is 3 this week and behaves just like DNephew did grin And, btw, DNephew is now nearly 7 and lovely.

Newmummytobe79 Tue 30-Aug-11 17:05:20

hahaha! Very funny comments indeed - and they make me feel so much better than I did before! smile (ok ... a bit more normal!)

I keep expecting a post to pop up along the lines of 'I took my kids round to see my pregnant friend earlier and you should have seen her face! She has no idea what she's letting herself in for!'

But like many of you ... I know I'm growing the best behaved genius in the world in my tummy! wink x

feedmecake Mon 05-Sep-11 20:16:49

I've also been worried about this but my mum tells me that you like your own!

I'm counting on it - otherwise they're going back.

redexpat Tue 06-Sep-11 12:43:12

Oh god I feel like this every time DHs cousin and her kids come over. The younger two are little devils. DH and I just tell ourselves 'ours won't be like that'.

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