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Mood swings... please help!

(7 Posts)
Renaissance227 Tue 30-Aug-11 10:57:18

I'm 32+2 today and although I don't have terrible mood swings I can get snappy with my DP over very little. He's currently drinking enough to sink a small ship most nights (and stinking of stale larger almost every day!) which is starting to irritate me so I snap at him a lot and get very short tempered with most things that he does. (Apparently he will stop drinking as much SOON but this is still not happening!)
Anyway, Last night I did just this after HE had had a long soak in a hot bath and he was asking me stupid questions about stuff (not pregnancy related!). I was tired and had had enough of pandering to him, BUT I got a mouthful from him about how I'm a "moody bitch" and should "sort it". I explained about pregnancy hormones etc and how I'm getting tired and have aches and pains all over but he just said this is not pregnancy related just me being a moody bitch who deserves no sympathy. He seems to think that pregnancy hormones just mean that you are either very happy or very sad and crying.

Does anyone know where I can find it written down that hormones and mood swings (pregnancy related) mean much more than just tears and laugher, so that I can show him? I'd be really grateful because I am feeling totally deflated and horrible today.

(Also last night I had a horrible nightmare about him turning into a drunk/psycho who was determined to leave me and I woke up crying. When I told him what the dream was about this morning all he said was that's not scary. Why were you so upset?!)

nunnie Tue 30-Aug-11 11:06:54

Can't help with printing anything off as haven't had to yet. DH seems to take my rants on the chin (used to it, as this is our 3rd). I haven't been getting much sleep at all for the last couple of weeks so he is getting more the angry me than the not so angry me at the moment, think he is seeing work as a nice break.

My DH isn't drinking, but I can see why that would be annoying you, as it is just one more thing to worry about on top of a long list.
Well I have a long list anyway but I am a worrier.

Think you need to talk to him about his drinking if it really is causing you so much concern that you are having nightmares, maybe do this when you aren't in angry mode (but if like me these are very few and far between).

Hope you are ok and your partner understands why you are concerned and doesn't just see it as another rant.

My Dad has even stopped his friday night out as he is my babysitter/emergency contact but I am 36+4 and DS came at 36+3 so he is a little worried he will be needed sooner rather than later and it was his choice to stop.

Renaissance227 Tue 30-Aug-11 11:14:35

It's good that the men in your life understand it all nunnie. I've tried talking about his drinking but all I get is "I'll stop closer to the time". He definitely just sees it as another rant.
I thought the "sort it" and "moody bitch" comments were out of order last night!
Anyway, thanks for commenting.

nunnie Tue 30-Aug-11 11:44:33

Sorry I couldn't be more help.
Has he always had drink issues or is a relatively new thing?

Renaissance227 Tue 30-Aug-11 13:44:25

He's always had drink issues but I this excessive all the time is a recent thing (last six/seven months).
Just wanted to try and find proof that me being moody/sensitive/snappy/happy/sad/crying/laughing etc was all part of being pregnant.
Feel really bad that he aggressively called me a "moody bitch".

cravingcake Tue 30-Aug-11 13:48:29

Renaissance, I really feel for you. My OH although doesnt drink every night, but when he does drink he gets plastered as he cant just have a glass of wine, it has to be a bottle (and then maybe a second...). I too would love to find this somewhere written down so I can point it out to him that mood swings are part of it all as when he is hungover he has a go saying I'm being moody. I have tried to point out that he should try carrying around an extra 2 stone which has been gained in a relatively short space of time, put up with being kicked from the inside & loosing sleep. I'm 31 weeks and have told him in no uncertain terms that he will have a booze ban from 34 weeks as I dont care if I have to get a taxi to the hospital but if he is too drunk to be there to support me when I'm going to need him most and he misses or cant remember his first childs birth then how can he live with himself. Maybe try something along these lines and guilt trip him a bit.

Have you got other friends who have already had children, maybe ask one of them to quietly have a word with him about how hard it is at times (without you being mentioned).

nunnie Tue 30-Aug-11 13:50:48

Don't blame you for feeling bad/angry for his response it was out of order.

The only issue with proof that it is possibly caused by being pregnant is that he may well not take you seriously in what you say.
I think his drinking is a causing problems and is excessive and if he thinks you are only telling him this because you are pregnant and it is a mood swing then he may dismiss your concerns, if that makes sense.
I think you are only being a caring partner by feeling concerned.

I hope you can find a way of getting him to listen to you as something has triggered this drinking. As he spoken to you about anything that could have been a trigger recently?

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