Moved to a new area @ 30 weeks, Any tips?(11 Posts)
I've just moved to a new area where we don't know anyone. DP has a new job so is out a lot so I've not really had anyone to talk to since I finished work last week (the commute would have become totally unmanageable so I finished up early) so now I'm trying to find ways to have some interaction during the days as I'm already feeling a bit lonely and isolated.
I've tried to enrol for some ante-natal classes but they're all booked up (which has led to me crying cause of all the hormones) and now I don't know what to do. I don't have any friends who've had a baby so I can't even talk to my friends over the phone about it cause they're still busy and going out all the time.
I know this probably sounds really silly but I'm just feeling a bit lonely and needed to get it off my chest. If anyone's had a similar experience and can give me some advice it would be really appreciated.
first of all congratulations on your pregnancy!
You don't sound silly at all. I am 37 weeks, and don't have any mummy friends. All my family live 200 miles away. We live close to my husbands family but it's really not the same!
Have you tried checkng out your local NCT branch? www.nct.org.uk/branches I haven't been able to get on to any ante natal courses either, but have been to a few coffee mornings and met some lovely people.
hope this helps! x
Have you thought about ante-natal yoga or pilates, or any other sort of ante-natal group? I know you said classes are all booked up which is a shame but if you get to do anything with other pg ladies you might not feel so isolated. You may not make many friends that way but it won't be long until your baby's born then you'll be able to go to mother and baby groups at children's centres and churches (even if you don't go to church, don't believe in God or are another religion)
You can do NHS antenatal classes.
Also second pregnancy yoga or something similar. It's not too late o start!
Your local NCT branch might run bumps events for mums to be (usually coffee afternoons or evenings)
I suggest it might be worth looking up your local Children's Centres - ours have 'bumps & babes' sessions and whilst I haven't seen many bumps, can imagine its really helpful to understand what they offer, where they are, how they work etc before LO arrives. I was lucky to have an NCT group to encourage me out of the house in the early days but otherwise probably would have left it some weeks before venturing out and the kicked myself I'd have missed out on the groups & support. Also, we had some trouble BF, I wish I'd met the lovely peer supporter at our centre in advance so I could have called on her at the first sign of challenge and perhaps made some different choices.
Also, at 38 wks, I found our Aqua Bump class - massively social and I wish I'd found it earlier. The trainer also runs Buggy Fit and I've met lots of friendly ladies through this - we usually have coffee after our work out.
I would second the suggestion that you contact your local Children's Centre.
Also, on a different note: staple your notes from your previous hospital to your notes of your new hospital!! I moved towns at 35 weeks and during labour my two sets of notes were separated - my new hospital notes said that there were no scan pics, but they were all in the old notes. So make sure that they are kept together
where abouts are you roughly?
maybe close enough to meet a mumsnetter for coffee?
or look in [whispers] netmums
or find your local NCT bumps and babes group and take you and your bump along.
Do you have an aqua-natal class. a few of us who were shy before then found ourselves on the same NCT class, along with another girl, due the same time, but not on NCT class. we now have a regular starbucks after our nct class and plan to meet up afterwards with our babies. though many of us are nearly there now and even those least pregnant have < a month!
I sympathise as I knew no one when pregnant with my first. Did meet people through NCT antenatal, but met whole different (much nicer) NCT crowd through their postnatal tea group (which was free run by local Mums). Once you're a member you can access these groups if they're available. Also breastfeeding cafe was lovely in tear-filled first weeks, and pregnancy yoga classes were good although found people didn't talk much.
Its funny but once you have a baby EVERY woman (almost) with a baby same age will talk to you and you'll have no trouble meeting people!
In my area you don't need to be an NCT member to go to the coffee mornings, you just need to email the area contact listed on the NCT website and ask her what's on. Don't know if other areas work differently. At ours pg women are welcome but they are mostly aimed at new parents as they take place in the day when many pg women are still at work.
I moved to a different country when I was pregnant with my first so yes, have experienced a similar isolating experience! Great ideas here. If you are thinking of breastfeeding & it is your first baby it might be worth looking into bf support groups in the area. They may even have a bf workshop for pregnant women & partners to help prepare. I did one & went to a support meeting before I had the baby & it really helped to be a bit familiar with it all as it was one of the first places I went with baby, as they are obviously used to new mums & you don't have to stand on ceremony at all in that kind of environment.
Flowerdems you have been on my mind! I hope things are progressing well for you. I hope you don't mind me resurrecting your thread and posting in case you or others on here find it helpful.
Whilst NCT things aren't the be all and end all for new-mummy-socialising, I don't know if you knew some branches also do post-natal "early days" courses?
If you're still making friends in the area (and, frankly, if it sounds like your sort of thing) you may find something like this helpful: a space to talk through your feelings and get advice around debriefing the birth experience, feeding, sleeping, relationships etc. I am a navel gazer for a living and tend to prefer to "talk things through" rather than "think things through" so I appreciated having somewhere I could go and talk about this in a way I didn't feel comfortable doing so with my new friends, my mum or my DH. I thought the social benefits were somewhat oversold (there were only 3 of us in the end on my programme), but as a way of getting out of the house, normalising my experiences, and having a trained course leader and experienced, independent person encouraging me, I found it helpful.
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