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Pregnancy

Apparently I am preg. Calendar says I'm due 30/4. Husband out of town till Thurs...

15 replies

Momface · 28/08/2011 21:04

I am thinking I should wait until he is back to tell him, but I am wondering if that is insensitive of me.

This'll be a HUGE shock for him, I think. I can tell you that it was a HUGE shock for me this AM when I found two lines. (One was REALLY, REALLY dark). I want to go to the doctor in the morning to see if I can get an appointment to confirm this. We weren't even trying, and I am 38. WHAT. THE. HELL!?!

Anyway, he is out of the country (at his parent's house, in fact). I am thinking that it would be way more special to tell him in person. But I am wondering if it is really fair to have a few days to let it settle in before he gets to know about it.

Also, I am in a state of disbelief, and I am thinking that it might be nice to really confirm this before we get too excited. (And freaked. Again, WHAT. THE. HELL!?!)

Any opinions out there? I'd sure appreciate it. Suddenly, I am having a very hard time thinking clearly! ;)

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melliebobs · 28/08/2011 21:32

tell him! A positive is a positive. When you go to the Drs if you've had a positive home test they take that as it. They don't tend to test again as a second opinion. :) Congratulations

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PotteringAlong · 28/08/2011 21:34

Can you send him a photo of the test?

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Oeisha · 28/08/2011 21:44

Congrats!
Most GPs will accept a positive test as a pregnancy, as a false positive is fairly rare. So don't be suprised if they just launch straight into the "you're pregnant, here's all the info on ante-natal care...the MW will see you at 8-12wks for your booking appointment".

They'll want you to start taking folic acid, and will ask about drinking and smoking and may suggest having your STI, rubella status and rhesus tests asap (I had mine about 6wks, rather than waiting 'til my 12wks to have them taken).

As for telling DH, it's up to you. He'll be excited either way. My thinking would be: as he's with his parents, do you mind them knowing this early? He might want to discuss it with them as they're 'there' and you're not there just to bat stuff back and forward to. He might not...you'd know better than me, but that'd be my worry (i.e. my family getting very excited and overbearing. I was nervous enough as it was. I waited 'til 12wks). But at the same time, would he be more dissapointed to not go through the early excitment with you?

Whatever you choose, he'll be thrilled.

Good luck!

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Momface · 29/08/2011 00:45

Wow...really? If it isn't painfully obvious already: I'm not from around here. (I'm an American living in exile/Scotland).

So there it is then. I'm pregnant. What a crazy planet! :)

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Momface · 29/08/2011 00:46

Oh, sorry! I ajust getting used to these boards. I was responding to this: "When you go to the Drs if you've had a positive home test they take that as it. They don't tend to test again as a second opinion."

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Momface · 29/08/2011 00:51

Thanks, Oeisha, for the heads up about what might happen at the dr's office tomorrow. As I said, I am a stranger in a strange (well, it's not that strange, really!) land. It's nice to know what to expect.

And thanks everyone for your suggestions. My heart is still pounding, head swimming, etc., etc. I will sleep on all of it. Well, I'll try anyway! :)

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GlaikitFizzog · 29/08/2011 00:57

I emailed DH (almost exactly a year ago) witht he news. Again it was a shock and I only did a test at work because I was sure it would be negative! DS is sleeping upstairs aged 17 weeks 1 day, Born 30th April!!

Congratualtions!

PS, I'm in Scotland too, we're not that strange!!!!

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lolajane2009 · 29/08/2011 01:17

Why so surprising because you are 38?

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madwomanintheattic · 29/08/2011 01:23

dh was away when i found out i was pg with dd1 (dc1). it took me two days to track him down and when he eventually called and said 'how are you?' i blurted out 'I'M PG!!!' instead of waiting for an appropriate moment. he said 'oh!'
'oh'....

since then we've had two more and he's managed to be slightly more enthusiastic, but it was a bit of a shock and the last thing either of us were expecting (we were both due to go to kosovo within a few weeks - he went, i didn't.)

anyway, congrats! as everyone else said, the doc will probably just say 'oh, ok' arrange a booking in appt, and pass you some info on general health and pg.

but yes, congrats!

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NorthernGirlie · 29/08/2011 07:58

Congrats!! I'd tell him - especially if it's going to be a massive surprise for him. It'll also give him time to get his head around the news before you see him! When I told my DP I'd had a little chance to get used to the news and was already excited etc - meant I was a tad disappointed by his slow uptake / rather cool reaction. 12 weeks in and we're both excited now but think it'd be more fair for him to know and have time to process the shock / fears etc before you guys see each other again :) Enjoy your news!! xx

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MmeLindor. · 29/08/2011 08:04

Congratulations!

Yes, I would tell him. Can you skype with him maybe?

Is he far away? Any chance you could turn up at your MIL's house?

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Georgimama · 29/08/2011 08:06

Congratulations - around here the indifference of GPs to positive tests is so immense that you get told to make a MW appointment for booking in at ten weeks. GPs don't even want to see you.

Definitely tell him!

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saffronwblue · 29/08/2011 08:11

I'd be inclined to wait. If only because you might want him to share those first few exciting days with you rather than his parents. You don't want him arriving back saying " Mum says we should..." and feel as if everything has been decided in your absence. Depends on your inlaws obviously.

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Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 29/08/2011 08:16

Congratulations!

I'd wait. I don't think he'd feel it unfair that you knew before him, given the circumstances. As someone said upthread, if you tell him now he'll tell his parents, are you alright with that?

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Momface · 30/08/2011 09:07

"As someone said upthread, if you tell him now he'll tell his parents, are you alright with that?"

I'm ok with that, but I do think he'd prefer to have his first reactions with me. Wait, I will. Well, we'll see if I can hold out. I keep wanting to blurt it out when we are on skype ;)

Thanks for the feedback, ladies! I do appreciate it. I've not told anyone yet. I figure if he doesn't get to know, no one else should either.

Oh, and I did manage to get a dr appt for today at 4PM. I think the key may be showing up in person to ask for the appt. Well, that and looking like a completely freaked out American. And it wasn't an act: seconds after speaking to the nurse, I went to the restroom. THE MEN'S ROOM, as I learned upon leaving. That was a first. Is that what they call, "Mom Brain"? ;)