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Does anyone else feel silly & uncomfortable talking about their 'news'?

(42 Posts)
MrsRV Wed 24-Aug-11 20:01:55

Ok so I'm just coming up to 12 weeks, everyone has known since really early, tried to keep it a secret but not drinking at various social things soon soon gave it away!

I let myself indulge in browsing online, looking in catalogues and posting on here every so often... But I've found myself getting really embarrassed talking about my pregnancy or the baby and clamming up and feeling silly! It's totally unlike me too! Anyone else feeling like this? I've come to the conclusion that it's because of what other people think and in the back of my mind I think they're thinking "she's not even 12 weeks yet or had her 12 week scan". I'm not stupid, I know what could happen but I'd rather not think about it and be happy, positive and enjoy every minute!

Dont know where all of that came from... Sorry ladies... Just letting it all out! x

CoffeeOne Wed 24-Aug-11 20:10:56

I'm 14 weeks and since we announced it I've found myself saying the same things over and over and over! I feel a bit silly talking about it because I assume people are only asking to be polite (everyone says the same things) and I think they can't actually care! But try not to worry too much about what other people are thinking and just enjoy yourself smile

Blueberties Wed 24-Aug-11 20:13:06

Yes but for different reasons. I hated the announcement. It was like telling people you'd had a great shag.

TheOnlyWayIsEnfield Wed 24-Aug-11 20:20:01

I am 20 wks. I keep seeing people I haven't seen for ages and just blurting out 'I'm pregnant, obviously,' as it seems bloody obvious to me! I have a big belly and none of my clothes fit me ffs! I feel like my bump announces itself, but people keep reacting in a surprised way...
I'm really happy to be pregnant, but you do feel a bit sort of attention-seeky telling everyone, don't you? As special as it is for you and your family, we aren't the first people to ever have a baby are we?!
Congrats, btw. grin

alisonsmum Wed 24-Aug-11 20:21:25

oh god i hated the announcement too n im 39+4 and still cringe when ppl ask when im due n all the "oooooo not long now till u pop" comments.
tbh the thought of ppl thinking about me in that popping situation at the hospital makes me cringe beyond all reasonableness lol ( just made that word up i think) ....

cluckypoo Wed 24-Aug-11 21:03:15

I felt uncomfortable telling people and put it off until quite late; i didn't start showing until 5 1/2 months so it was easy to do. I had two early mmc with my first 2 pregnancies so telling people about this one seemed risky, like i might jinx the pregnancy. I even found it hard to tell my mum.

Even now I'm 34 weeks, i wait for people to ask me rather than bringing it up myself; i just don't want to be that woman who can talk about nothing else than her pregnancy/baby (even though i often don't want to talk about anything else).

i think people, especially women who have already had children, are interested in pregnancy and how you're getting on, i don't think its just politeness.

MissRee Wed 24-Aug-11 21:10:12

If one more person asks me what "flavour" we're having, can I feel him/her move yet or do I feel sick all the time, I might scream.... of course that's probably just hormones grin

SaulGood Wed 24-Aug-11 21:15:49

I'm 36 weeks. I've told nobody. If they ask I nod and change the subject. I just cannot bring myself to talk about it. DH's best friend asked me if I'm excited the other day. I confirmed I was, yes, as Christmas isn't too far away. To me, it's just a discussion about the fact that I had unprotected sex and now my body's doing all sorts of things I just don't want to chat about over a cup of tea.

NorthernChinchilla Wed 24-Aug-11 21:23:26

I felt exactly the same, and it only wore off at around 20 weeks when it was clear to all and sundry.
It does feel weird- you don't want to initiate a conversation about yourself, and you don't want to be 'show offy' as one person said. As for making an announcement at work- forget it! I ended up sidling up to individuals when I could get them on their own and sort of mumbling it under my breath, like I was admitting an embarrassing and smelly personal problem.

It may be partly related to the fact that both my Dad and DP were a bit underwhelmed in their reactions at first...plus it's the whole cultural thing of 'one mustn't make a fuss'!

I think/hope it will get better post 12 wk scan...

gonerogue Wed 24-Aug-11 21:47:26

I was the same about the announcement - wel in work anyway. So inthe end I just told one person who I knew wouldn't be able to keep it quiet and they told everyone else for me grin

I was so mortified about people knowing I was pregnant again but thought it was a silly thing to worry about until now

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Wed 24-Aug-11 21:50:20

i find it a bit embarrasing, as others have said it seems a bit like drawing attention to myself. I'm sure friends would piss themselves to hear me say that as i'm a gob all...but i hate saying stuff that is "supposed" to elicite a particular, emotional, response. I feel like i'm being manipulative! Might be oversenseative about that though as my mum is manipulative in that way and i hate it.

Mondayschild78 Wed 24-Aug-11 21:53:47

I found it really awkward too and made DH tell family and some of our close friends from about 14 weeks which he generally blurted out 'Wifey's up the duff' or something similar clearly showing he wasn't quite comfortable either. Then we generally just texted some friends to tell people and others found out on the grapevine, we were rubbish at announcing it! Don't know why really as we are very happy but just don't feel the need to talk about it so much. I guess the way I see pregnancy is it is a journey and a means to an end so I'm sure once little one is here safe and sound we'll be shouting it from the rooftops! grin

notlettingthefearshow Wed 24-Aug-11 22:06:29

I found it awkward too! We are delighted, of course, but I'm very aware that not everyone is excited/interested. Now that most people know at 22 weeks, I tend to wait for others to bring it up and ask me about it. I could talk about it all day, naturally, but nothing worse than a pregnancy bore!

Beesok Wed 24-Aug-11 22:14:22

Same here! I feel bad sometimes because close friends ask questions etc out of genuine interest but I just don't feel like talking about it confused happy to discuss certain stuff with pregnant friends or those who recently gave birth as I feel we have "this" in common and they are sort of on my wave length but not general chit chat with other people ;)
But I think this is more to do with the crappy mood I've been in lately (probably hormones) and the fact that I can't sleep properly and am at home on M/L so pregnancy is beginning to really really bore me smile
And I went to Zara and picked up a way too small skirt in the vain hope that I will regain my slim figure quickly and be able to wear it - I am in denial and will not buy any more maternity stuff! ;)

WeLoveHaribo Thu 25-Aug-11 11:38:55

I found the anouncing really hard, like meantioned.. Look at me ive had sex! I already have one DS who's 2 so its not the 1st time!!!
I'm 16wk and still not told alot of ppl, i figured they'd find out soon anyway. All family and close friends know.
I dont know why feel like this as was planned and we're over the moon....

bigeyes Thu 25-Aug-11 13:00:06

Yes I feel funny and I dont know why, plenty people know we were trying. Ive just had confirmation of low risk downs from combined nuchal scan/dating scan (I am 14+2).

I also indulge myself by looking at websites etc but wont buy anything, and dont think I will until quite late. Last time with DS I had bought a ton of stuff by now and we about to decorate the nursery room.

DH is excited and has told people at work and via txt. We havnt told DS yet I feel its too early but DH wants to tell this weekend.

But also, I see someone (and their DH) who has concealed their bump, is so obviously pregnant but havn't said anything. We are not particularly friends but last time they did tell us, but it ended v sadly for them, so I think they are being quite protective about their pregnancy. Its weird seeeing them knowing we in the same both but neither has said anything.

ToriaPumpkinPasty Thu 25-Aug-11 13:38:20

I was desperate to tell everyone, very excited about the pregnancy itself and love talking about it (though admit the same questions do get wearing, if one more person says "Oh, not long now" then looks shocked when I say "Two months actually" I will beat them. Also "Is DH looking forward to being a dad?" "Well he either is or I'm not going to want to talk about it!" I'll bea them with their own shoes.)

However, I found it very hard to make the announcement, even at work where everyone knew we'd been trying (part of a team of six women, five of whom have children) I got awkward and clammed up.

It's not so bad now I have a massive bump and people are less concerned about offending me, but I still don't want to spend every waking moment talking about it!

Stateofplay Thu 25-Aug-11 14:10:55

Yes yes, I feel like for my second it's not a big deal at all for anyone (and barring very close friends and family, that's probably true) so feel awkward saying it. I'm sort of slipping it into conversation quickly whenever I'm catching up with a particular friend, but I wouldn't get in touch with a friend just to tell them I'm pregnant. It's bizarre isn't it.

Maybe it's because I'm not excited this time. Not like the first time.
(I am happy to be pregnant, and it was planned, but I have so much on my plate right now, including starting a new job this month). Am 10 weeks.

Someone on another thread recently said 'telling people you're pregnant is a bit like telling them it's your birthday, they're obliged to say something nice to you'. I don't like telling people it's my birthday either, and rarely do in fact!

Good to read this thread and see I'm not alone in feeling this way.

HardCheese Thu 25-Aug-11 14:32:15

I'm ten weeks, and haven't told anyone yet, and am planning to hold off for quite a while, especially if the nuchal scan indicates high risks and I need further tests. But even if that's not the case, I'm not planning to do mass 'stope the world, I'm expecting' announcements.

I'm 39 and this is my first pregnancy - having never planned to have children - so I think family and colleagues in particular will be extremely taken aback, not to say gobsmacked. It wouldn't surprise me at all to find some people quite condemnatory or hostile at my 'selfishness' in not having a baby much younger, especially my in-laws and older female relatives, and I anticipate quite a bit of covert gloaty 'Ho, ho, now the career-woman will see what it's like for the rest of us' from my partner's older sisters, who all had lots of children apiece in their early twenties and are SAHMs. I don't think any of them would have the gall to say it to my face, but there might also be quite a bit of sniffing about the fact that my partner and I aren't married.

I don't think there's anything bizarre about discretion, and am very glad to find this thread. Despite also feeling ambivalent, I am terribly interested in and excited by being pregnant, but I also have a demanding full-time job, a book deadline and a full life that doesn't revolve around my biology - I'm not planning to turn into some kind of brood mare discussing the state of my cervix with people at bus stops. I will talk freely with one or two close friends, and I hope my reputation for being a sharp-tongued person who takes no prisoners will prevent people who know me from asking inane questions about the pregnancy. If a stranger tries to pat my belly, they will quickly wish they hadn't. Me being visibly pregnant does not equal being public property.

So hurrah for discretion and not making a big deal out of announcements, for those of us who feel this way!

GeneralDisarray Thu 25-Aug-11 14:33:13

I just worry that people think I'm a silly bitch for getting pregnant at 21 or that I'm wasting my life. I don't feel like that, I'm over the moon so I don't know where it stems from really sad

bigeyes Thu 25-Aug-11 14:44:02

hardcheese I am 36 with my second, there are many advantages to having a child older so when you suspect them other of being snidey just remember, you are older wiser, likely to be more patient, more likely to be financially secure and in a stable place ie yourself/relationships, are more educated about your own health and look after yourself better. These are what I read in my preg n birth mag the other month and it made me feel lots better.

But there are many advantages for having a child younger, phyisically younger, less risks for you and child and more energy etc. So general you having yours young but not v young, and you will have lots of time to do other stuff later. I must admit I dot get envious of people in my age group who have grown up kids and have a lot more freedom, but its mainly holiday related stuff.

hardcheese and general anyone who judges isnt a true friend, and you just have to show them otherwise. smile

HardCheese Thu 25-Aug-11 15:01:47

Bigeyes, you are quite right, and thank you - and my fundamental attitude is that I don't give a flying shite what anyone else thinks. I think what annoys me about the response I anticipate from some people (I could be being unfair, but I don't think I am, as I've known them for 20 years!) is that they'll think that somehow now they've finally got me where they want me, in an area in which they have experience and I have none, so I'm at a disadvantage and a bit pitiable.

GeneralDisarray, at the moment I find myself envying the pregnant early twenty-somethings in the waiting room at the midwife's, and muttering to myself about the lowness of their risk factors for all kinds of chromosomal disorders etc. and also that you guys are doing this at exactly the right time for your bodies! It says a lot, doesn't it, that society disapproves of women getting pregnant at the time when their bodies are best equipped to handle it? Also, it's lovely you are thrilled - congratulations!

candr Thu 25-Aug-11 15:39:01

I got my boss to announce it on a day when I wasn't in cause I worried that every one would think I wanted attention if I did it. I now answer peoples questions (am 36w) but don't bring it up as I too don't want to be all about the pregnancy but it is nice when people are really interested and I can gush a little bit. I also am aware that my sis has wanted children for ages and kind of feels I beat her to it so don't want to make hr feel bad. It is very weired when people say 'well done' when they hear you are pregnant as it always makes me think that they wil then realise it means they think about you having sex. I love being on here so I can share highs and lows without being all 'look at me I'm pregnant'

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 25-Aug-11 15:41:30

Definitely. I couldn't wait to tell people and then when it came to 12 weeks and I could I went all silly about it. I'm 21 weeks now and even though I work in a pretty close knit office, half of them don't know. I just didn't see how I could go in and announce it, it was like assuming that people were interested IYSWIM. It's slowly filtering out but not because I've said anything.

PinkFondantFancy Thu 25-Aug-11 15:41:58

I so agree with people on this thread-I feel awkward and ridiculous announcing it so just waited for people to notice. Good to know other people feel this way too.

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