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Feel really down and teary after my day at work

(19 Posts)
worldgonemad72 Tue 23-Aug-11 19:56:11

Im nearly 12 weeks pregnant, had vile sickness since about week 6 but haven't missed any time from my full time job. Finally got some anti sickness tablets of my doctor but they ran out on sunday night, he told me to see how i went before going back incase it had started to ease off. had a really rough night last night and have been throwing up on and off since about 4 am. Anyway went into work and managed to do 3 hours, during that time my boss and his second in command repeatedly told me 'dont expect any sympathy' and my boss even said i should of used contraception so i didn't get myself into this 'mess'. After that comment i went home, ive been really teary ever since and never want to go back. Its just a rant really, as i arnt going tell my dh, he would go mad.

figgygal Tue 23-Aug-11 20:11:09

What type if company do u work for I would report both of them tomorrow in writing as that sort of attitude is not on in this day and age.

Besom Tue 23-Aug-11 20:16:18

Oh you poor thing. What total cunts. I agree with figgygal - you should report this.

Squiglettsmummy2bx Tue 23-Aug-11 20:17:44

Your dh is right to go mad & I think you should tell him. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that & definitely shouldn't have to put up with that attitude for the next 28 weeks. I would call in sick tomorrow due to stress because of this disgusting treatment & make a formal complaint.
Sending you hugs x

Beesok Tue 23-Aug-11 20:20:12

I'm sorry you had such a bad day and your bosses are twats (sorry!) I know it's easier said than done but do not let them treat you like this! That comment was so wrong on so many levels and can be grounds for a harassment claim. You have rights as an employee and specific ones when pregnant. If this is the way they are behaving at the beginning of your pregnancy then it doesn't bode well for the future months - that 's why I would tackle tis now and nip it in the bud. Can you contact HR and talk to someone? Maybe it's worth scheduling a meeting with your boss first (when you feel better and are up for it) and tell him in a professional manner that you will not tolerate this kind of attitude.
I know I sound really harsh - but had similar situations with my manager and had several unpleasant meetings with her but I put my put down and made it clear that I will report her comments to HR - she must have spoken to them first and they must have put her straight because she actually came and apologised for the way she spoke to me! We had a very passive-aggressive relationship after that and both avoided each other but at least she backed off and I am so relieved to be on M/L finally!

Good luck and hope you feel better! smile

GwennieF Tue 23-Aug-11 20:20:16

I'd speak to your boss' line manager; he should not be speaking to you like that. I'd also tell my DH if I were you, you'll feel better once its off your chest and you should get sympathy and hugs...

Beesok Tue 23-Aug-11 20:21:12

sorry for spelling mistakes blush

Beesok Tue 23-Aug-11 20:23:46

And yes, tell you DH! You need the support and he is absolutely right to get mad smile Honestly, stress is bad for you in general and esp when you're pregnant and this is obviously causing you a lot of distress (rightly so) so don't let some idiot who can't read a maternity policy get you down!
I second calling in sick - in fact get a note from you GP and take the week off!

Ivortheengine8 Tue 23-Aug-11 20:26:59

Thats awful. You should report it to higher managment. Was it a male or female? (nothing indicated was just interested to know! smile )
Sorry you are feeling so rotton. x

metalelephant Tue 23-Aug-11 20:38:16

Tell your DH, you need the support. Make
an official complaint to HR and demand an apology. What about when you will need to take hours or days off for midwife/doctor appointments? What if you need further rest in the next few months?

You do not need the extra stress of some dick bullying you for having a baby. They need to be reminded it's not the 1950's and as a pregnant woman you have rights. It won't just go away on it's own, talk to your DH, you'll feel so much better.

And congratulations!

worldgonemad72 Tue 23-Aug-11 21:11:13

Thanks for all the replies, its a small family run business and it was the owner/managing director that said that, he's male for those that asked. we haven't got a HR department and its pointless complaining really. Ive already told them i wont be going back and i wont be claiming smp through them either, so maybe thats why he's being so vile.
Anyway my dh is home now, he knows what they are like at work so i think this would be the final straw tbh. Again thanks for taking the time to reply to me, it makes me feel that i arnt in the wrong for thinking he is out of order.

Ivortheengine8 Tue 23-Aug-11 21:25:16

How much longer have you got to work there OP?

worldgonemad72 Tue 23-Aug-11 21:31:30

Just until mid jan, so not long now, im hoping i will be able claim ma after i have resigned but not really sure.

diddygirl Tue 23-Aug-11 21:35:21

OMG how utterly rude and disgusting. Go back to the docs, get your meds and a sicknote for 2 weeks. I was off work with hyperemesis and my boss and colleagues were so supportive and understanding - this should be the norm.

You look after yourself and your baby, that's what matters.

diddygirl Tue 23-Aug-11 21:36:17

PS - don't shed another tear over them x

tiredchocoholic Tue 23-Aug-11 22:45:33

Hi, I'm really sorry you are having to put up with this. For what it is worth, I'm a qualified HR manager....albeit a bit rusty these days!....and my husband is co-owner / MD of a small family business (along with his father) - they don't have an HR department, either, but size / set up of the firm doesn't exclude them, or your employers, from the law! Ignorance and / or being an arse in general is not an adequate defense and if I were you I would definitely not let this go. The company should have a grievance procedure and you should follow this - but if not, I would definitely suggest you document your concerns in a letter to your line manager. The fact that you are thinking of resigning and not claiming SMP suggests you might even feel as though you are being driven out - in which case, you might like to advise your managers that you potentially have a very strong case for constructive dismissal.... No way should you be treated like this, and if you carry on feeling as rough as you are now, I'm afraid to say that January will feel like a long time coming (I am pg with DC3 and have had constant nausea 24/7 throughout each pregnancy, which made my job hell - despite the fact I loved it, and my boss at the time....I had to quit at 29 weeks when pg with DC 2 and have taken early leave this time, too). I have never had to get involved with Mat Allowance but pls check this out - I could well be wrong but it wouldn't surprise me if you forfeit any entitlement to it by resigning from a position that qualifies you for SMP.
All the best, hope things get easier for you all round x

pregnantmimi Wed 24-Aug-11 00:20:00

I agree with the time off work hun take care of yourself I know how I felt around that time and it really peed me off when people were so unsympathetic so I thought well stuff them Im looking after myself for awhilexx

MaMattoo Wed 24-Aug-11 00:38:20

Congrats! Tell DH, get support, kick ass!
Be the mommy who fights back smile it's a long journey and kicking ass now will make it more bearable!!!

OrangeGloss Wed 24-Aug-11 06:04:18

Could your dr not sign you off for a bit? Especially if they knew the circumstances. When I had morning sickness I found lack of sleep and/or stress made it worse. It isn't like you're going back so you may as well try for time off (I know you can self-cert but the dr could sign you off for longer) - especially if this man won't be reasoned with. He sounds like an absolute arsehole

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