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Why such disappointment that it's another boy!?

(31 Posts)
mandoo Thu 18-Aug-11 15:47:06

Had my 20 week scan today and found out we are expecting DS2. The news has been met with 'Oh dear never mind' by most. It's made me feel like crying. Am personally really please it's another healthy baby.

minipie Thu 18-Aug-11 15:51:03

Some people are just idiots.

Congratulations on the all clear.

tinky19 Thu 18-Aug-11 15:53:14

Congratulations, you should be pleased.
I have one DS and am currently 24 + 4 weeks preg. MIL is desperate for a little girl this time and my mum's not much better. I keep telling them I'm having a boy (mother's intuition wink) just to pee them off! grin, childish moi?

Crosshair Thu 18-Aug-11 15:54:53

Congratulations! I think people just assume you must want one of each, it is weird and rude for people to say things like that to you.

sleepevader Thu 18-Aug-11 16:04:29

Ask them if they have hear of the saying if they have nothing nice to say then maybe best to say nothing at all.

CBear6 Thu 18-Aug-11 16:07:13

Congratulations and ignore them, some people just need to engage their brains before they speak.

It's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't because no matter what the gender is people will comment. I have a DS and I'm 36w with a DD. People keep telling me things like "you can stop after this one then" and "how lovely that you've completed your family". Stop? Complete? Just because, entirely by chance, an X sperm got to the egg before a Y sperm? Annoys me because people seem to think the only reason anyone has more children is to try get the magical one of each.

Your DS2 will be just as lovely and loved as your DS1 smile

Sargesaweyes Thu 18-Aug-11 16:13:11

Just ignore. I am about to have ds1 and a few people thought I would be upset it wasn't a girl. I think people get a bit carried away with the idea of shopping for girls and having a mini me which is stupid because no one can determine their childs personality anyway. They might hate girly things! I can't wait to have my son and if he is anything like his gorgeous daddy then I will be happy but as I said I just want him to come out healthy and to be happy. Especially dislike smug mums of girls who assume you are disappointed!

MummyGemx Thu 18-Aug-11 16:55:30

Some people are so insensitive. I have two boys and although part of me always wanted a little girl I was genuinally delighted to have my second son and would never have changed him for the world. My boys are very different but are both wonderful and they adore each other. I just dont think my family would have been the same without my 2 little boys! Having said that I am expecting a girl third time round and I dont think it could have worked out better for us. Not everyone's idea of a perfect family is 1 boy and 1 girl. I dont know why some people assume thats what everyone else wants. After all we always wanted 3 children whether they be pink or blue! Enjoy your boys they will bring you alot of happiness!

mandoo Thu 18-Aug-11 16:59:22

Thank you all. Am really happy we are having another boy and will try not to lose it with the next person who gives me a disappointing response.(although I can't promise wink)

GirlWithTheMouseyHair Thu 18-Aug-11 17:27:31

We've just found out we're having a girl, dc1 is a boy. We decided we wouldn't tell anyone we knew the sex cos I hope people will keep the stupid comments ti themselves once she's here. I am however a bit disappointed not to be having another boy!

Congrats to you!

mandoo Thu 18-Aug-11 17:32:43

Thanks Mouseyhair congrats to you to. It amazes me that people think it's ok to make such comments. I feel really lucky to be blessed with another healthy child, be it boy or girl.

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 18-Aug-11 17:36:16

About a week ago I posted on a thread similar to this, basically telling the OP to get over it, it was just idle smalltalk and not worth getting worked up about...

However, on Tuesday I had my anomaly scan and found out I was having DD2. I am delighted. If I could have chosen, that's what I would have chosen. My mother said, 'ah well, never mind', my cousin said that she presumed we'd be going in for a third to get the boy. And this was my f-ing family.

So I'm with you. People can be arses, they should keep their snouts out or, at the very least, engage their brains before speaking.

mandoo Thu 18-Aug-11 17:38:28

Yes it's mainly been family that have made these comments to me. i think that's why they think they are free to speak their minds.

Sandra2011 Thu 18-Aug-11 18:03:43

I'm having a second boy too! And I think it's fantastic.

Personally I would be happy with a girl too but I think it's also nice that there will be brothers in the house.

Some people just have a problem that their mouth works faster than their brains.

What can you do? smile

Dawnybabe Thu 18-Aug-11 18:34:26

About a minute after dd2 was born my dh said 'oh well, perhaps the next one will be a boy'.
angry
I have never let him forget it.

hayesgirl Thu 18-Aug-11 18:41:46

My mother in law has 2 sons, 2 nephews and 2 grandsons - her reaction when we told her it was a boy "oh, well there's always next time" every time someone asks us if we'll have more children she always pipes up with "course they will we're hoping it will be a girl". We? hmm

PrincessScrumpy Thu 18-Aug-11 19:14:00

I have dd1 and am pg with ID twin girls. Many told me it would be best if I was expecting a boy and a girl - not really as they're identical so that would mean a genetic problem. Also, dh has had sympathy from two guys - one who told him 3 girls would be his worst nightmare. dh is delighted, he adores dd1 and has no worries about not having a boy.

Basically, people are idiots. I don't get the whole boy girl thing at all. I liked the idea of having a girl but was sure my first baby would be a boy called Harry. He was a girl! I'm just delighted to be lucky enough to have healthy babies when so many can't and don't.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xx

Wigeon Thu 18-Aug-11 19:52:05

I have two DDs and thank goodness no one has ever said "oh dear" or "what a shame" or "you must want to try for a boy now". They would get very short shrift!

You can say, with dripping sarcasm of course, "yes, well, of course we'll love him just that little bit less because he's a boy" or "of course our family is less perfect because there are two boys in it".

msbuggywinkle Thu 18-Aug-11 19:57:51

It makes me really cross. I'm expecting DD3 and am over the moon, am getting lots of 'oh dear' and 'I bet your DP is really disappointed' and 'are you going to try for a boy again then?'

DP is happy, I am happy. We both really enjoy raising our girls, and the DDs themselves are really happy to have another sister. People can't seem to get it into their heads that we are having 3 children, all planned and are happy that they are all female.

BerryLellow Thu 18-Aug-11 19:58:05

Another one with two DSs, didn't find out until birth both times, both times utterly delighted. We've had our share of inane comments, even while holding DS2 in my arms. Twats. These are the the same people who comment on the size of bumps too I find.

Catsycat Thu 18-Aug-11 19:59:55

I have had daft comments too... We have two DDs, and usually if I am talking with anyone about ttc #3, they say "are you hoping this one will be a boy", or "are you going to carry on until you have a boy". WTF??? My mother has made some classic comments, like "it would have been good if you had a boy first, as then you would have an heir" (yes, to my sprawling estate, and we do live in 13th century society where girls can't inherit). She also told me the "right" way to do it was to have a boy first, then a girl (because that's what happened to her parents and to her) - like we have a choice!!!

Smile and ignore, everyone.

RosieBP Thu 18-Aug-11 20:00:04

My friend went through long labour, epidural and then c section to have her DS. Her DFIL greeted her with 'shall we have a girl next time?' on first seeing him. I don't know how she didn't hurt him!

m1nn1em0u5e Thu 18-Aug-11 20:11:56

I had a gender scan yesterday which told us we are expecting our 3rd little boy! smile Although I would have liked a girl to experience both genders, I am over joyed at the prospect of another gorgeous boy in the house!..

I am so annoyed by the responses of some people, one person even texted 'oh no, are you ok?'....when I announced our little boy!....Somebody else said 'sorry its not a girl'....really? Why be sorry? Im not sorry! Grrrrrr blame my hormones maybe but im really sensitive about people seeing our baby as 'less special' because its our 3rd boy (5th Grandson for my parents, no grandaughters & 4th Grandson for MIL, no grandaughters)

The reality is that my son will be adored & cherished & im afraid im very close to losing my temper at the next careless comment I hear!..

notlettingthefearshow Thu 18-Aug-11 20:20:15

I can't understand it either. IMO it's quite shallow to have a strong gender preference, and it's quite rude to project that onto others.

notcitrus Thu 18-Aug-11 20:34:00

I'm getting these same comments and I'm not even having the scan for another 7 weeks! Even then I think MrNC and I will claim they couldn't tell the sex - I figure that it's a bit like names, every name you mention pre-birth, people tell you about a horrible person they knew with that name or criticise, but afterwards they generally go "awww, lovely!"

I think I'll be a bit sad it's not the other one no matter what sex it is - I was last time - especially as this should be my last pregnancy. Given that ds manages to be amazingly like me despite being male, I figure any child will be different and equally fascinating and wonderful.

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