2 x C/S previous and seeing consultant for pg #3 tmw - help!

[sunchild77]

hi, Im pg #3 and have had 2 emcs previously - both for failure to progress, malposition and fetal distress. I do not want to try Vbac this time - I tried damn hard for that with baby #2, you name it, exercises etc etc and it very disappointingly ended in repeat emcs. I really don't want to tryvbac again, I wanted a "normal" vaginal birth, but it seems my body doesnt cooperate, and I can't afford an independant midwife or doula to help me. Anyway, I've mostly made peace with myself over this. But I have many guilty feelings about taking a so-called easier elective option.

I also know that my local Maternity unit are trying hard to reduce the number of elective c/s and I'm worried that I might be up against it when I see the consultant tmw.

I will be v v upset if he makes me feel like I'm being paranoid or over anxious.

Can anyone help me formulate my thoughts coherently?

[hawthers]

only had one cs and now pg again and hoping for a VBAC so no experience of what you are going through. BUT i do know that the risks for an elective cs are much lower than for a emcs so perhaps go down that angle plus explain that you would much rather a VBAC but that doesn't seem to be the way things work for you.

good luck and let us know how you get on

[sunchild77]

I'm frightened though that if I give any indication that I would like to try VBAC that he will try and put pressure on me to give it another shot. I don't think I could mentally cope with this, the uncertainty for one thing. But also for the awful recovery I had the last 2 times, and the last time having been in labour for hours and being sooo determined to do it myself but having the choice taken away from me. Was devestating :(

Ahhhh!

[imip]

After two sections, I'm sure your consultant would let you choose. Even after one they usually do. Also given your reasons for a section - failure to progress - they would take this into account. Good luck.

[Catsycat]

Hi sunchild. I have alot of sympathy with you, as I have had similar experiences with DD1 and DD2. With DD1 I wanted a home waterbirth, ended up with a 3 day failed induction and an EMCS where the epidural failed part way through. It took me over a year to recover from the trauma and sense of failure. With DD2 I wanted a VBAC, found a VBAC friendly hospital, employed a Doula, and had 6 or 7 membrane sweeps from 37 weeks onwards. I went into early labour which lasted 2 days, went in for monitoring where there were problems with DD2's heartbeat, and ended up with another EMCS. DD2 had the cord round her neck, but was fine once delivered. Strangely DD2's birth helped me get over any remaining feelings of failure, as I felt I'd made the right decision to have the EMCS (I was offered syntocinon or EMCS). When they got DD2 out, the mw said it was a good job I had chosen to go ahead with the op! With each birth I only got to 2-3cm dilated.

I had a mc a few weeks ago, and again ended up in surgery, as my cervix did not dilate adequately once again. I am now trying again to get pg with no.3, and will definitely request an ELCS next time.

What happened with both my births was very hard and traumatic, and possibly dangerous in the case of DD2. I also think my cervix is incapable of opening!!! I would expect any health care professional to be able to look at my history, and see that despite my best efforts, vaginal birth has not worked in the past, and that I would like my wishes to be respected to have a CS, and hopefully a less traumatic start to my bond with DD3. No-one could persuade me that my desire to have an ELCS is paranoia (especially where fetal distress has been a factor), so just don't accept it if they try!

The chances are that they will support your decision - I have been told by one of our mws that our nearest hospital (where I chose NOT to go for DD2) will not accept you for a VBAC under any circumstances if you have had 2 previous CSs, (which I think is a pretty shocking policy BTW)!!! I think it is more likely they would try to persuade you away from CS if you were on your first pg and afraid of giving birth, or if you had one CS, no other health issues, and they were a pro-VBAC hospital. If they are very pro-VBAC, they may mention the idea as an option, but just refuse - say you have thought it through and tell them what you want instead.

Make sure they are acquainted with your experiences, and insist that a CS would be best for you and the baby given your history. I know it is hard with some consultants, but stick to your guns, and don't agree to anything you aren't comfortable with.

You could check out the NICE guidelines for CS
www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/10940/29334/29334.pdf
which gives guidance about who should be offered CS, and when it should be discouraged. I think it should make reassuring reading, having had a quick flick through it.

Good luck, hope it goes well for you!

[sunchild77]

Thank you all so much. I think it is just some calming down I need!
I'm really worried that I might actually cry at the appointment!

Although I am at peace with the thought of elcs, I am still very sad that I can't/wont ever be be able to do it myself.
I think I have probably idealised visions of what "normal vaginal bith" is like, and can't help but feel that women have been birthing since the dawn of time, why the hell can't I do it?? :( I just feel a failure at something so female.

Anyway, once it is agreed with consultant, and I really hope its not a battle, I know I'll be fine, nervous about the op, but at least the uncertainty will be gone...

[Catsycat]

One of the NCT ladies here said that I did give birth to my DD's, just not in the "traditional" way, and she is right. We nurtured our babies for 9 months, just like every other woman; then we made the decision to have them delivered in the safest, most responsible way once we realised that a vaginal birth wasn't going to happen, which was what any good mother would want to do.

My mw also told me that at least I was still "honeymoon fresh" (euchhh), while she had to carry her cervix around in her handbag .

If you cry at your appointment, then don't worry. They will have seen worse. With my consultant appointment before DD2, I cried, threw my notes in the bin and walked out (this was before I changed hospitals!). Funny how they listened to the crazy pregnant lady after that (once DH talked me into going back into the room!)!

Show that you have thought it through, and I really think they will not give you any trouble. If you are really worried you'll get nervous and have problems making your case, then write a few notes down as to your reasons for wanting a CS, and prompt yourself during the meeting.

But I do think you will be fine. xx

[nunnie]

You are still giving birth irrelevant of where it is coming out of. I have no experience of 3 sections.
My 1st was a quick VB but I still ended up in theatre having a manual removal of the placenta.
My 2nd I got to fully dilated and pushing very quickly but he was brow and I needed an EMCS. I had a failed spinal block which meant I felt them cut and was knocked out for the entire delivery of my baby, but I still gave birth to him.

I am currently pregnant with number 3 and am down for ELCS but if I labour before 39 weeks and arrive as advance as previously and all is progressing well then the agreement is I will have a trial labour.

I have only had this confirmed on Monday and had a anaethatist and consultant present and I was very suprised it was not as bad as I had geared myself up for, they were both really helpful and there was no pressure to go with either option.

Hopefully you will be as lucky.

[Wormshuffler]

I am the same as you having had 2 EMCS and trying and failing second time. This time I walked in the consultant said " so being that you have had 2 CS already that pretty much decides that is how you will have this baby, come back to see me at 35 weeks and we will book the date"
I too had been fretting over having to beg for it but it wasn't an issue in the slightest.

[thejaffacakesareonme]

I too have had 2 previous c sections. WHen I saw my GP to book in 2 weeks ago she said I'd have another c section. There was no mention of vbac.

[Catsycat]

Hi sunchild how did it go? Thinking of you.

[sunchild77]

Thank you for the thoughts...
I had the exact same experience as Wormshuffler LOL all that worry for nothing!

I saw a rather narky Registrar, who was so far up her own arse, it was unbelieveable! . Appt lasted 5 mins max. She sounded so completely bored... She said they'd do my planned c/s at 39 weeks, - and were there any questions? I said "39 weeks is New Year's eve...do you do still do them then?" Innocent question I thought....

She said (being really snarky) "Oh well we HAVE to work NYE, and still do planned c/s, so if you need a c/s at 39 weeks and its NYE, THATS when we'll do it.."

FFS! I only asked! its not as though a c/s will be spoiling my plans for NYE! I'm not planning on partying!!

[Catsycat]

Well done! Glad it all worked out. The registrar sounds a delight! :)