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Mil called me a beached whale today!!!!!

(24 Posts)
apple99 Sat 13-Aug-11 23:05:36

My due date is Thursday 18th so 5 days away, everyone keeps saying what a neat bump I have and how well I am carrying yet at every opportunity available to her my mil makes comments about how enormous I am, how there must be 2 in there etc. One time when a friend of hers was there at the same time as us and commented on how I was 'blooming' mil almost spat her tea out laughing and said "well thats a polite way of saying enormous" and then today as we left her house she topped them all by saying to me "You really are at the beached whale stage now aren't you?"

I am not overly sensitive and usually just brush it off but I was rather speechless to say the least. Anyway have got it off my chest now so shall forget about it. Feel free to add your own annoying comments from people if you wish smile

CBear6 Sat 13-Aug-11 23:15:18

Just tell her this:

"In a few weeks time I will lose 80% of this weight overnight, for the rest I can diet. You however will always be a bitch."

cjbartlett Sat 13-Aug-11 23:17:22

Get your dh to stand up for you?
'er mum you are beyond rude , just quit with the snide remarks' should do it

NeedaCostume Sat 13-Aug-11 23:23:15

It has always amazed me how people think that it is acceptable to insult a pregnant woman in ways that they wouldn't dream of insulting someone who is not pregnant. She sounds very insensitive.

I started a thread on this when I was pg (about 3 namechanges ago!) and posts came up with all sorts of insults.

Congratulations by the way - hopefully you have only a few more days of having to endure her snide comments.

TinyDiamond Sat 13-Aug-11 23:31:15

Apple I'm due on Thursday too. As if it's not uncomfy enough without horrible remarks.
I am quite neat too really despite putting on a huge amount of weight...I'm expecting this baby to be quite large. My mil and other members of dp's family thought it appropriate to start telling me I was getting fat when I started to show. But that wasn't until after 24 weeks ffs! Try to ignore her and just imagine baby coming soon. Good luck

apple99 Sat 13-Aug-11 23:38:08

Dh doesn't seem to notice and when I mention it to him he just say's she doesn't mean it and just speaks without thinking and would be mortified if she thought she had upset me.

I am more just bemused by her sheer rudeness than upset by her, I can't for the life of me understand how she thinks it's ok to say these things.

Oh please let my baby be born soon, I can only imagine what corkers she'll come with when I am overdue!!!

NeedaCostume Sat 13-Aug-11 23:43:49

It is your first DC or do you have others already? I went overdue with DC1 and DC3 which was so annoying at the time but hey, they arrived safely in the end, so I was lucky. Hopefully yours will come on time or even sooner.

MadamDeathstare Sat 13-Aug-11 23:54:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Sat 13-Aug-11 23:56:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rooks14 Sun 14-Aug-11 01:56:55

I bloody hate my MIL and she says the rudest things sometimes! But to be fair to her she is probably just so proud of your bump! My MIL won't stop rubbing mine despite numerous obvious flinching to try and get her to stop. But in a calmer state, rather than my usual I F*CKING HATE HER!!! mood, I can see she's just happy that you're big and hopefully that means a nice healthy grandchild!

Pastabee Sun 14-Aug-11 08:10:55

It is a horrible thing to say. The trouble with pregnancy insults is if you do say something people then say 'ooo, hormonal too' so you probably can't win.

My SIL said she was looking forward to seeing me 'to see how fat you've got' and when I commented to DH's friend that I was measuring a little small for dates he laughed and said 'you look huge to me' which was so mean as I really haven't put much weight on. BUT, DH did defend me on this one and pointed out there's a baby in there where his gut is just beer and takeaway!

I'm sure your MIL will develop a new line in cutting comments when the baby is here. Something along the lines of 'you girls don't know how lucky you are DH changes nappies' while she watches it admiration as her little soldier does it and critically while you do it.

Oh god just annoyed myself by typing 'girls' to refer to women but that's my MIL standard line 'you girls don't realise <enter something ridiculous here>'. I'm in my 30's FFS.

Ilovekittyelise Sun 14-Aug-11 09:22:27

luckily my MIL is overseas and doesnt have the opportunity to comment quite so much but she saw a photo and 24 weeks and commented that 'the horizontal stripes arent very flattering' [coming, i must add, from a woman that is morbidly obese and has many of the associated health problems].

im sick to death of people thinking they have licence to comment, and poke and prod at me like im a cow up for sale at auction, and having to have a conversation with every bloody stranger that asks me when im due [last time this was 'in about 3 weeks' and the interrogator looked at me and said 'gosh, still a while yet then' and thought you stupid effing be-atch, thats not long at all].

what is WRONG with these people, as if the shape and size of a baby bump are somehow within our control. cant wait to be thin again and laugh at these stupid fat ignoramuses like i used to and make comments like 'remember how you used to make fun of my size, gosh, you could never fit my size 10 jeans around your fat arms could you'..GRRRRRR.

Conchita Sun 14-Aug-11 09:45:29

My DF used to send us pics of my sister with a bump entitled 'what a fatty' and 'look at fatso', knowing that she is sensitive about her weight. Then last week I saw him and he said 'you're getting quite chubby now aren't you?' (at 18wks with a tiny bump). Am resolved to confront him about it if he says it again but sure I'll be accused of being hormonal (I am) or that I'll end up crying (see previous).
People are so rude! I suggest making a voodoo doll to represent all rude and annoying people during pregnancy

ChrisPBacon Sun 14-Aug-11 09:57:35

I don't understand why you allow more than one of those comments from the same person to happen. Baffles me that you don't tell her to keep it to herself. If she's goiing to be mortified she has upset you, she needs to know. If shes doing it to upset you, she needs to know also.
I can't recall getting any comments like that- yes it may have been in their minds - but I don't accept put downs anyway.

Forgottensomething Sun 14-Aug-11 10:11:46

My sil asked when I was getting married when I was 6 months my mil buttes in with oh she can't looking like a elephant
Fil said why nit you did mil ( mild youngest was 6 at her wedding ) grin

Forgottensomething Sun 14-Aug-11 10:12:17

Mil not mild !

ShoutyHamster Sun 14-Aug-11 10:22:28

Get up and leave the room in a hurry next time.

Let her see she's upset you - WHY are you pretending it's ok?

Get into practice now when it comes to piping up and making your feelings on stuff clear - 'tis a good idea with a baby coming into the mix!

Birnamwood Sun 14-Aug-11 11:06:55

I love the good old MN retort of 'That sounded really rude, did you mean it to be?'

I haven't used it yet but I'm planning to! smile

cate2310 Sun 14-Aug-11 11:47:10

I still remember being in Tescos with DD in a trolley at 6 months old, and this old lady coming up and chatting - "Oh she's so beautiful, you must be so proud, how old is she?" When I proudly announced that she was nearly 6 months old, this woman took a step back, looked me up and down and said "Blimey, and you've still got all your baby weight!!!!!" Cheeky cow, I'd never met her before and was quite pleased with getting back into my size 14 jeans again! Luckily, I found it quite amusing!!

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sun 14-Aug-11 11:55:58

What CBear said. Rude fucker.

SaulGood Sun 14-Aug-11 11:59:01

Just yesterday I used the MN retort of 'that sounded really rude, did you mean for it to?'

The result <bluster bluster backtrack>

Was v pleased.

It was in response to a family member sympathising that some women do just put on a baby, others 'chub out' all over with a pointed look and a never mind shake of her head. She's lucky I didn't fricking sit on her.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sun 14-Aug-11 12:02:09

Nice one, Saul!

Birnamwood Sun 14-Aug-11 12:57:01

Well done Saul! I'm almost at the point where I want to engineer a situation where I can use it! grin

candr Sun 14-Aug-11 12:59:53

My twin sis and I are normally skinny so she is just loving being able to make lots of fat jokes as she knows I will forgive her (or sit on her if she pushes it too far) I hope I get some of my figure back though or she will feel quite bad and also know what is in store for her when it is her turn - I will have my revenge and return al her comments grin It is however horrid if you know the person is being rude and hurtful, just remember it is a temporary tummy.

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