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Feeling a bit of a numpty help

(6 Posts)
LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Thu 11-Aug-11 19:59:23

Ok so am 36 weeks today and have just received a text from my best non-mummy friend inviting dd and I for brunch for her birthday. When the big group of us were out a couple of months ago she did mention booking in a birthday night out.

I'm sat here feeling like crying that I've been downgraded to brunch before her big night out. Now I know I can't go into town for a drinking night but could do dinner. Just hate it when others decide I can't do something cause I'm pregnant, why can't they say this is what were doing but if you don't fancy that we can do xxx.

I've not put this in AIBU cause at 36 weeks I don't think I could take it but I am aren't I?

candr Thu 11-Aug-11 20:01:52

Are you sure she has booked a night out?, if so have a chat and let her know you would love to be there to support her on her day. She may have just thought you wouldn't manage it and didn't want you to feel bad.

georgethecat Thu 11-Aug-11 20:10:50

MMmmmm you should ask her about it, just say is the night out still on? I could join you for part of it. It sounds like she has good intentions and wants to spend time with you and include in something she thinks you can do but perhaps she has been accidentally a bit tactless and has excluded you instead. Hormones has probably made you feel extra sensitive about how to perceive the situation and how to assertively tackle her about it. Sometimes non mummy people don't fully get the pregnant thing (I know as for years I have been non mummy friend) and perhaps think wrongly you will be unable to manage it and should be in confinement after 6pm. Just remember sometimes with the best of intentions people can get it wrong and you just have to say what you feel - Im up for it, what time are we meeting, what should I wear! I'm sure she will be delighted you can manage it really xxx

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Thu 11-Aug-11 20:42:54

Thanks ladies I know you're right. Guess it's just bringing back all the times it happened when I was pg with dd, not with her but others. I don't know maybe she's not going out just would be really suprised.

MsChanandlerBong Thu 11-Aug-11 21:51:19

On the other hand, I would take it as quite a compliment that she wants to have a lovely meal out with you on your own (ok with dd too!). I would guess she is thinking that on the night out, once the wine is flowing and her attention is spread over other people, she won't get to speak to you very much. And if you are best friends then she probably wants to have a proper catch up with you - especially if you are going to be giving birth in the next month so will be otherwise occupied for a little while!

I think the fact that she wants to 'dedicate' a whole outing to you on her birthday shows how important to her you are. I can see why you might take offence, but if you look at it in a positive light, it is really quite a lovely gesture IMO.


LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn Thu 11-Aug-11 21:56:20

MsChanandlerBong thank you, that is exactly what I needed a different angle. Can always help others see them but am far too hormonal to see it for myself. No rounds to excuse myself from, or splitting a bill that includes wine!

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