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Anyone know about having a hospital birth but going home without having to go on the postnatal ward?

(9 Posts)
Markandkark Tue 09-Aug-11 15:59:45

hi, I am on my 4th pregnancy.
I am very nervous of being in hospitals - births 1 and 3 were ok, but birth 2 was dreadful; In a nutshell I was treated quite badly by the midwives, who said I wasn't in labour, and was making a fuss about nothing, and sent my husband home and left me alone on the anenatal ward. Shortly after, I felt waters break, head crown, and ended up giving birth with no partner and midwives who thought it was funny to see me in such pain and fear. They were sniggering at me, when I was crying.As a result I suffered terrible PND and struggled to bond with my dd2.

Anyway, even with the other births, I would have to say that the post natal wards in every case were absolutely horrible, and when I tried to leave it would take forever to get discharged. Last time we just left anyway, as we had been lied to by the midwives so often we had lost all patience. They said we could go after 6 hours, but no one would do the discharge papers, and kept fobbing us off with different excuses. And no, they weren't very busy, they were all having a good chinwag and looked pretty cross whenever anyone dared to interrupt the conversation.

As a result of this I really do not want to be in hospital unless there is something actually wrong with me or the baby.

I would happily have a homebirth, but DH is really unhappy with this, he wants to be in hospital just incase something goes wrong. I have reluctantly decided to go along with this.

Does anyone know if you can deliver in hospital but not get admitted to postnatal? There is no option of a midwifery unit, it would just be the delivery suite.

I just don't want to be left there and my husband sent home, as I now have a bit of a fear of midwives, and need someone in my corner.

owlbooty Tue 09-Aug-11 17:14:41

If you're both okay there's nothing to stop you leaving from the delivery ward - people used to do it all the time in the hospital I worked at and it was perfectly okay with the MWs. You probably want to make this very clear to the MWs in advance though; write it on birth plan etc and inform them you are leaving as soon as you can when you arrive and again after the birth.

That way they have a fighting chance of getting your discharge sorted out quickly. Some people used to leave without waiting for that, though - in a way it's not dissimilar to what would happen if you had a homebirth then in that you'd need to get your GP to do the baby check instead the next day at home or at the surgery. They usually make you sign something to say you're discharging yourself but it's pretty common for people to do this if, like you, they get frustrated at having to wait ages for a 'proper' discharge.

I also hate hospitals and if I end up going to delivery ward I fully intend to leg it as soon as I am physically able!!

NoobytheWaspSlayer Tue 09-Aug-11 17:40:51

I did this with DS2. I think it does depend on your delivery tbh - mine was quick and straightforward - no stitches or drugs (just G&A). I just told them when I got there that I wanted to go straight home from the labour ward, and I made sure it was on my notes. My GP came to my home to do the baby check. After the delivery I was most insistant that I still wanted to go - after a shower and the tea and toast! We sat in the visitors room on the labour suite while we waited for our paperwork. I was NOT going to the ward. TBH the midwives were perfectly happy to let me go and not block up a bed.

It was lovely actually - we stopped off at Tesco on the way home and DH made me a lovely fry-up that I scoffed, then lay on the sofa mooning over my gorgeous baby. Much nicer than my labour ward experience with DS1. I kind of got the security of a hospital delivery, followed by the loveliness of the home birth post partum experience (and no mess!).

I'm undecided about my delivery for DC3 (due December). I may do the same thing again, or go for a home birth.

Markandkark Tue 09-Aug-11 17:59:55

Thank you so much for your replies, they are really helpful, and have given me some confidence.
I tried doing a search on the subject but nothing came up, it's good to know that if all is well, we can go straight home.
I never understood why I was put on the ward on each occasion; there was no medical need, I was just taking up a bed, and to be honest, didn't get any help from any staff at all. I think I just didn't have the confidence to speak up. And trying to get discharged is a nightmare, I stayed in hospital for 2 nights with my second, for no medical reason. It just took that long to get someone to discharge us.
I will make sure my birth plan is very clear, thanks again!

allthefires Tue 09-Aug-11 18:24:30

OP I had a very similar experience to your birth.

I was discharged within 4 hrs in the middle of the night. You dont have to been admitted to postnatal if you dont want to be.

Do you have a smaller midwife led unit? Would you reassure the home birth decision?

NatzCNL Tue 09-Aug-11 19:33:27

Best of luck to you. I used to work on a maternity ward in Central London and would often witness mums leaving before being discharged, they had to sign a disclaimer saying that they were leaving against medical advice. But to be honest this is just to cover the hospital's back should you or baby become unwell. I never heard of one of these mums or babies having to be re-admitted.

If the midwives are any good they will discharge you asap and inform your GP that a post natal check needs to be done at home.

I have booked a home birth for DD3 (due in 6 weeks) and am really looking forward to not having to go into hospital. My DP was not too keen on me not going to hospital, but have promised that we will transfer if the midwives have any concern for me or baby.

I spent 3 days in hospital with DD1 as I had high blood pressure before the birth, on day 3 I was crying when a midwife came to see me and asked why I was still in, I told her that I wasn't allowed to go home till they were satisfied I was ok, she checked my notes and said my blood pressure had returned back to normal within half an hour of DD1's birth!!! shock, she discharged me within 20 mins of telling me that.

Was in for 12 hours after DD2 birth, but I spent 6 hours telling the midwives I was ready to go and badgering them to give me my discharge papers... wasn't going to put up with being brushed off again. So glad Im doing a home birth this time!

Sewmuchtodo Tue 09-Aug-11 20:27:58

Im really glad to have found this thread. I have MW tomorrow morning and I have been getting set to request instant discharge too.

I was in for 6 days with DC1 as I was unwell. However I was in for 4 days with DC2 as they wanted to make sure the same didn't happen again (it didn't and ended up feeling low as just wanted home). I now plan to state in my notes that I want to take DC3 home straight after birth, and just hope that because I am a planned 37wk induction this will not make a dfference.

We live a 3-4min drive from the hospital and I am not silly, should I clot or feel unwell I would call or go back, but just desperately want to be in my own home.

Flisspaps Tue 09-Aug-11 20:30:29

I think that if you want a homebirth then you should go for that. Why should DH get the birth of his choice over you? You're the one who has to go through it, and whilst he has to watch and support you, he should have the final 'say' when it's his turn to push a baby out of his body.

Has he done any sort of reading up on homebirth? DH was really against the idea when I wanted one for DD, but once I presented him with lots of information, he was much more relaxed.

Markandkark Tue 09-Aug-11 20:46:35

I'm sure I could persuade DH to go for a homebirth if I really pushed for it, but I think he will always be uncomfortable with it, and I want him to be happy too. Going to hospital for the birth and coming home straight afterwards would be a compromise I could accept.

I just can't face the postnatal ward again, and worry about that far more than the actual birth, as the birth bit is a breeze compared to a night on postnatal!

Thanks for taking the time to respond, it really is appreciated.

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