Telling a 4 year old they gonna have a baby brother or sister(16 Posts)
DD1 was very perceptive, she guessed and ask me if I was having a "baby in my tummy". Otherwise I would have waited for the 12 weeks scan giving the all clear.
DD is 3.6 and I'm 18 weeks pg. She doesn't 'know' yet, waiting till after the anomaly scan but she talks a fair bit about having a baby in her tummy and also what she'll do when she is a baby again so I'd say she's picked up on something. Not quite sure how to broach the subect though.
I told my 4 year old the day I told DH, when I'd done the test at around 5 weeks. I was feeling very grotty already so it was nice to be honest with him about why I was always lying down or throwing up! I can't remember exactly what I told him but I think it was along the lines of me having a baby growing inside me and next year it would come out and he would have a little brother or sister. Of course he followed that with lots of questions about how it got there and how it would come out etc which we answered honestly and simply.
I went onto miscarry a few weeks later and he was a little sad but was mostly curious about why the baby had died and we talked a lot about miscarriage and why it happens. I didn't get pg again until he was 6 but he still remembered the baby I lost and we talked some more about miscarriage then as well.
We went on holiday for a few days the day after the 12 week scan, I told dd who was just 4 on the way that I had a special secret to tell her when we got there. We told her and she squealed with delight and we let her tell the grandparents, it made her feel special to be involved.
I am now 38.5 weeks and she is so bored of waiting for said sibling to appear that she can't decided if she is more excited about that or starting school in September!!!
The boredom aspect is one of the reasons I'm waiting a bit to tell her. Ideally I'd wait even longer but it doesn't feel right that she doesn't know something so important and we all do. So the 20 week scan is as long as my conscience will leave it!
I waited until after the 20 week scan to tell my 5 year old DD. She'd been asking for a baby brother/sister for years so I just said, 'You know how you've been asking for a baby bro/sis for a long time, well guess what, there is one in mummy's tummy.' She was over the moon. I kept saying how I'd be needing her help etc so that she feels involved. I feel sorry for her in a way cos she's been the centre of our universe for the past 5 years and it feels weird that she will have to share the limelight with another little one.
Ds (3.7) started asking if I had a baby in my tummy and pointing out it had got bigger. I just said maybe and he left it after that. He came in on the 12wk scan and has made the connection straight away that there is a baby in my tummy from seeing it on the screen.
And what do you say when they ask how it got there??
ds1 was 4 when ds3 was born and I think we told him when I had an obvious bump.
he never, ever asked how it got there lol but if he had i'd have told him the truth, that daddy has a seed/sperm and it gets put into the lady and it forms a little baby
We haven't been asked how it got there as yet!
He has however told me that it will get biggwe and bigger then pop out and has been asking lot's of questions about it popping out!
We told DS1 after the scan. He was at nursery that day and because it was such a safe place for him (we were mid house move), we sat him on the wall outside and gave him the pictures to hold and told him what it was. He kept one picture in his bedroom, at his request. We arranged a private scan for us to find out together what the baby was and then DS1 helped to name it. He helped as in I read out names I liked (DS1's name was DH's choice so it was my turn ) and he said if he liked it or no. We all only agreed on one name. DS1 came to the 20 week scan too, he was so excited to see HIS baby again. He wanted to come to the hospital with me when I was in labour too! bless. Now he loves his brother, he's like a little dad with him, whilst trying to teach him all the naughtyness he already knows, so like a little dad then.
We gave dd a picture of the 12 week scan. She was 3yrs 10 months and tbh had been asking for weeks if I was pregnant because 'pregnant ladies are always sick in a morning' (her bf's Mum was also pregnant and also suffering).
She didn't ask how it got there because she knows anyway. I'm 34 weeks now and she isn't bored as she knows the baby's coming in September (she is crossing the days off on her calendar) and she knows how far away that is. She is very excited about the whole thing.
DS is 4.5 and has been asking for a baby for well over a year and a half now. I'm 22w along.
I've actually had 6 losses since he was born so we didn't tell him until after the 12w scan. Before then he just knew that mummy wasn't feeling too well. He was concerned afterwards if the baby was making me sick (sweetie).
He's fascinated and not bored with it at all. He hugs the bump more often than he hugs me at the moment! And he loves it when he feels the baby kick.
We've done everything from There's going to be a baby to the Visible Embryo Project. He knows there's need to be sperm from Daddy and an egg from mummy before the egg will turn into a baby, and, because we have a fridge magnetic set from the OU, we've even given him a basic explanation about chromonsones! He asks how big baby is from week to week, imagines what it is doing and has asked a lot of questions about what he was like when he was in my tummy. He imagines what it is going to like with the baby and is really keen to cuddle it when it comes. I think he is expecting to be at the birth so we'll need to carefully manage that expectation (at the moment I keep saying he's most likely to be at school!).
Gave ds1(aged 3) the 20 wk scan photo and asked him to guess what it was. Then explained HE would be getting a new brother or sister (Read somewhere the word WE can mean Mum and Dad not Mum,Dad and existing child to little existing child!) He was a bit excited but it def wasn't the momentous occcassion I had imagined!!
Gave ds1 and ds2(7 and 4 yrs) the 12 week scan photo (See a theme!!) and asked them if they could guess what it was. Suggested that ds1 might have more experience of this situation, then watched as it dawned on them what was going on!!! Immediately they started a campaign of chanting for their preferred gender. ds1 wants a sister and ds2 a brother!! They're completely over the moon about the baby. We had to tell them at 12 weeks because ds1 is no fool and I had awful morning sickness. 28 weeks is a very long time to wait to meet lo, but we talk about the baby (but not ALL the time) They've given dc3 a bump name and they cuddle the bump and say good night to it most nights. The baby has just become part of our daily life, but especially with 4yr old (and def with 3yr in prev pg) it's all about how the baby relates to his life and will drop him off to school etc. I have warned them that babies can be a bit of a pain sometimes and very boring for weeks and that I'll prob be a cranky mum when I've not had a lot of sleep, but that it's all part of the fun. I think they just see the opportunity of playing the Wii more than is healthy as a def possibilty!!
Join the discussion
Please login first.