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What kind of reaction did you get when announcing your second pregnancy?

(16 Posts)
grumpusmaximus Mon 08-Aug-11 12:20:42

HI All,

I ws just wondering as I have announced my good news recently to family and friends. Friends were all delighted, congratulations, when's it due etc. All the normal stuff you would expect.

My family on the other hand were the total opposite. I have 2 sisters who are older and have children and 2 who are younger and childfree. I told them I was pregnant at a family bbq - what I said was
"I'm not going to be drinking..." and one asked why, to which my oldest sister said "Well she's obviously pregnant again". Her tone was a bit off and DH and I just looked at each other liek this shock The first person to say Congratulations was my youngest sis but no one else did.

I told my mother seperately as she had been sick and not at the bbq and she just said "what is yoru work going to say about that?" (DD1 will be 18 months old when DC2 comes along) Now my mum is obviously worried abotu my job in the current climate but am I wrong to be so upset at my families reaction. When my mum said that I said (ina very snarky tone I admit) "Congrats Grumpus, that's great news you must be really happy" but still got no congrats or anything.

I knwo I am hormonal and it's not eth end of the world but I just feltl ike they could have been a bit more excited for me. It is the 5th GC so maybe htey are all jsut sick of the merry go round.

ANyway will you tell me your good (and bad) stories and cheer me up / make me feel like i'm not the only one.

cjbartlett Mon 08-Aug-11 12:22:36

Well presumably your baby is nine months old? A lot of people see it as too soon to have another baby but they should keep their thoughts to themselves

grumpusmaximus Mon 08-Aug-11 12:25:29

DD is almost a year and yes there will be a small gap (18 months ) but my sister's children are only 15 months apart and the biggest gap between my sisters and I is 24 months with 13 months being the smallest gap.

grumpusmaximus Mon 08-Aug-11 12:26:05

And thanks smile

spout Mon 08-Aug-11 12:31:53

could it be a jealousy thing? Often the way with siblings, isn't it?

Maybe your older sisters are jealous that their children will have more competition for family attention, or maybe envious because they want more DCs themselves.

blowthewindsoutherly Mon 08-Aug-11 12:37:32

My Mum was a bit like this - no jumping around in excitement like the first time. I've got 22 months between mine, in fact, the exact same age gap to the day as I had between my only sibling.

My Mum thinks she has us too close together because of jealousy issues but mine are 3 and 1 now and the gap has been great. My Mum was worried how we'd cope as well - again, I don't know why - neither DHs family or mine live nearby and we've always coped on our own without relying on anyone (occasional babysiitting if they visit, but nothing else).

We want a third and I know my Mum will be really judgy about that too. Just ignore them, they will love the baby when it's here - my DD2 is utterly adored by everyone.

GingerbreadGiraffe Mon 08-Aug-11 12:39:08

Congratulations Grumpus, its wonderful news grin

miamama09 Mon 08-Aug-11 12:39:32

Similar here, friends were all vary congratulatory and excited. Family was like 'oh, very good'. None of the excitement as when DD1 was announced. Guess it's normal?
Don't let it get to you, no doubt they will all be fighting over who gets to hold the new baby first when it eventually comes!

Hootie Mon 08-Aug-11 12:44:25

We had practically the same! I'm only 8 weeks but told two best mates who were really excited and pleased. But my dh's parents just sat there in shock, his mum said 'you're joking' and that was it. Admittedly we live in Australia so it was on skype but I thought they might get a bit more animated. I was so pissed off I just left my dh talking to them and went and did the washing up! I thought my folks would be really pleased, they were a bit happier but mums first reaction was 'how did that happen' and ' how can you afford it?' nice. I thought everyone would be as pleased as the first time, but now I can't be arsed to tell the rest of the family!

PeggyCarter Mon 08-Aug-11 12:45:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grumpusmaximus Mon 08-Aug-11 12:52:18

Thanks for the congrats here grin I wasn't really fishing for them I jsut needed to vent.

So seems like it's that way then with the 2nd ah well could be worse.
Paddlejumper sad at yoru Dad's reaction.

I haven't heard much from any of them since - had my scan but none of them have asked how it went or anything so I think i@ll jsut have to go with the idea that they are saving teh enthusiasm for when it arrives. grin

I'd like a thrid too blow teh wind but maybe we'll wait for a few years after DC2 just to give everyone time to breathe. grin

spout could be with my oldest sis - she has 2 but think she wanted more but her DH was dead set against more kids.

Thanks again.

grin at Giraffe

Changing2011 Mon 08-Aug-11 12:55:59

Everyone has been fantastic - my Nan and Auntie cried (my Mum has sadly passed away). This is my second child, first DC is 6. Mind you, my DP and I have 4 brothers between us, none of whom want children (so they say) - so it could be that the family thinks this is their only crack at grandchildren!


Mmmmcheese Mon 08-Aug-11 13:01:08

My family have been excited but DH's aunt who lives near us and is closer to us than DH's mum said "Oh, I thought you were going to wait until DS was 5". !!! We had some complications with DS as he was 9 weeks early but had never said that we would therefore wait until he was 5! It made me feel really bad even though I am mega excited about the new baby.

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 08-Aug-11 13:12:55

Congratulations smile

It is a bit meh. I was really disappointed with my mother. When I got pg at last December she was ok but not super excited. Then I mc and got pg again at Easter. Knowing what had happened I expected a bit more, well, enthusiasm.

Family in Ireland are delighted and making a fuss but no one else is really. Some people at work know but lots don't and I can't be bothered to tell them because they won't be bothered.

Dawned on me yesterday that I probably won't even bother taking this one in to show them as no one will be fussed. The ones that are fussed are people I'll see outside of work. It's all a bit underwhelming really.

allthefires Mon 08-Aug-11 13:15:08

I've had the same. Really upset me. Got called stupid when I replied to what awful timing with actually it's perfect timing we planned it that way.

It's their problem. Not yours

whackamole Mon 08-Aug-11 13:30:04

Friends and brother and sister and extended family were all happy and delighted and made all the 'right' noises.

Mum and dad both put a damper on the news by saying how unexpected it was because it was 'not a good time' confused. To be fair, my mum is one of those people that assumes that as I have a whinge about bills or anything money related then we must be on the breadline. We're not, I just enjoy a good whinge every now and then!

It is upsetting though.

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