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What new mum/pregnancy advice did you ignore, you shouldn't have?(17 Posts)
After spending lots of time on here during my pg, DS is now 11 weeks old. Wise MNers advised me of the following, I thought I knew better but now wish I'd listened:
* A travel system is expensive, and limited in its use. DS has practically grown out of the pram/carrycot already, I am sick of bumping the big heavy thing up and down kerbs and not being able to fit anything else in the boot of my car.
* You don't need too many baby clothes. I've just packed away the newborn stuff and am dismayed by how much stuff DS hasn't even worn.
* It's a rare HCP who really knows about breastfeeding. Use a trained BF counsellor, the peer support network, La Leche League or the national helplines if you're having trouble.
* You really don't need very much for yourself in your hospital bag. I took my make-up, hairdryer and straighteners
Sleep while the baby sleeps. I lasted two weeks and then crashed big time.
This time while ds is at pre-school in the am if baby is sleeping I will be too.
Get a baby-facing pram.
I really regret that I didn't.
Get help once the baby is born. I thought if I was totally neglecting the house I'd be OK even with the emotional upheaval of ds having been in special care, me learning to walk again after SPD, and no roof on the house. I was wrong.
At 5 weeks the GP told me to phone 'every half-sane person you know and get them round, even if you only trust them to jiggle your baby under your supervision', as my body couldn't hack it.
I think someone did suggest visiting a breastfeeding group before ds was born. I didn't, partly because there wasn't a local one until he was a couple months old, but as I spent that couple months travelling miles to seek help, I really should have done.
Swaddle your baby. DH refused to do it with our first, but we did with our second and he sleeps so much better.
Don't spend money on an expensive m & p pram (should have just bought a maclaren techno xt and saved myself £400. Also when they need changing on the night, don't turn all the lights on to change them and start giggling them about.
if I could go back 7 years and 4 babies I would tell myself to buy a lie flat pram not a huge thing just a pushchair with a proper carrycot (I had a loola with a carrycot for dc4 after using forward facing pushchairs and carseats etc for the other three). I loved it because I could wheel her in and leave her sleep or I could just push her back and forth to sleep. I would never go back no matter what the cost now!
also dont bother buying a baby bath they love baths and shower with their mummies or daddied much better.
That's an interesting last tip. A shower? How do you manage that one? Don't they hate the water near their faces? Would you say that you're there hels them see it's not scary? Do yours not have trouble with hair-washes as a result? Also, how do you manage the transition between bathing with mum or dad and having a bath on their own?
Don't buy a top and tail bowl! What the hell is it for? I gave mine away.
I didn't have a baby-facing buggy for my twins as I wasn't
rich enough willing to pay £600+ for one, but I will for the singleton who will arrive in October. It's not a travel system per se, although it does change between a pram/buggy.
Didn't appreciate breathing properly through labour pains - thought it was kind of a joke at the classes - until I was in labour!
Moses baskets - waste of money
Lots of cute newborn clothes - folded away and most not worn
Bottles of talc (loads given as presents) - never used
Baby oil - never used (on baby anyway)
Cot duvet set
Expensive baby gym - husband talked me into buying one at £60 - it had animals hanging off and played music - all I thought when I looked at was how much it cost - and it's now packed up and in the cupboard
Sleep when baby sleeps
Sleep when baby sleeps
Sleep when baby sleeps
If number 2 goes okay (high risk and only 7 weeks at mo) I will: sleep when baby sleeps!!!
Yes yes yes to lie-flat pram/pushchair. I have a travel system and although DD will sleep in the car seat, it's clearly not as comfortable/good for her and she wakes much more easily.
Breastfeeding can be painful and tiring (although not for everybody). Please persevere through the first weeks of horror. At 4-5 weeks, I seriously thought I could not do another day. Thanks to great support from DP, I am now (at 10 weeks) feeding very happily and easily and so glad I did not give up.
Don't try and carry a huge handbag/changing bag. Stick to minimal stuff for yourself - purse, phone and keys - plus change kit, and stick it all under the buggy. Lugging a huge shoulder bag = instant back pain especially when picking baby up all the time.
Eat, eat, eat, especially if you're breastfeeding. I sort of forgot in the first few weeks on the back of new baby euphoria and exhaustion and consequently got much more exhausted. And don't worry if you're just eating biscuits and chocolate bars for the first few weeks - that's fine, enjoy!
whizzyrocket none of mine seems to care about water in their faces although i suppose when they are tiny you do minimize the water running down their faces a bit. I have never had any trouble with hair washing at all they just stand under the shower and shut their eyes no problems although all mine have very little hair until abotu a year old so it doesnt need a huge amount of washing before that.
When i want to give them a bath on their own (my one year old is now bathing more on her own just because she has a more set bedtime so my shower/bath tends to be after she is in bed) I just plonk them in with toys and an older brother or sister.
The one year old will also sit on the floor of the shower for a quick wash if I dont fancy running a big bath. We have four so its really cute to see them all lined up in the bath or in a line for the shower
Pelvic floor excercises - ignored it - thought I would be fine and now wish if only I'd listened. The current attraction for trampolines does not bode well for those of us who didn't do them!
oh god I forgot about that Mum1234, I thought i was doing well with that until morning sickness hit for this pregnany and for the first time in my life I keep peeing when i puke! Dont forget these or you will end up like me with dh killing himself laughing when you burst into tears because you peed while being sick. BTW my dh wasnt laughing in a nasty way just in a "good god woman is that all" way.
still do pelvic floor excersizes.
its ok to leave a sleeping baby safely in its cot whilst you have a bath. no one is watching the house for when you leave the room so they can steal your baby.
you don't need a baby bath. the baby will prefer to be in with you, as long as there is someone to help you out of the bath...or just a wipe them with a damp cloth. save your money.
mobiles are nice but your baby might hate it and it may take some nights before you realise this..
To ignore the books and the leaflets and the blurbs, you're far better asking another mum (or several mums). The amount of panics I had because DS wasn't doing what some book said he should be doing or because he was feeding more/less often than a leaflet the HV gave me said he should or because he hated something "all babies" supposedly love. All babie are different, adopting that as a mantra saves a lot of stress.
Ditto on the baby bath, DS hated his and I haven't even bought one this time. We used to just take him in with whichever one of us was going in and he was fine. Getting him to bath alone was never an issue either, we just chucked some toys in and he loves it. I did like my top and tail bowl though, sorry to those who hate them! It was good for wash downs, I'd put the water in one side and the "kit" in the other (cotton wool, etc). It kept it all together, made it easy to carry to/from the sink with one hand, and because the cotton wool, etc was in the empty part of the basin it was out of DS's reach.
Babies are portable. I had a few doom and gloom types telling me my life would be over, I'd never leave the house for month and months, and blah blah blah. Yes, life changes and leaving the house requires organisation and a bag full of baby stuff but babies are tiny little things and easily transported using either wheels or a sling.
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