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Would it be madness to ditch ELCS and go for VBAC in hope I'd go overdue and have a Sept baby?(33 Posts)
I am due on August 22, tantalisingly close to September.
I have had a previous ELCS, and for reasons I won't bore you with, I have gone for another ELCS -- booked for 10 days' time. Have agreed to proceed with vbac however if I spontaneously labour between then and now and it all looks good (baby is in ok position this time)
I had been told by a couple of colleagues (one married to a teacher) that August babies can be at a disadvantage when it comes to school and have suggested I hang on, on the off-chance I go overdue and make it to September.
Of course, on a population level, late summer babies may show up on a trend as performing less well, but as my husband is at pains to point out, this is meaningless on an individual level and so many other factors come into play. He is understanding, but adamant that if I am only basing my decision on this, this is small fry and I shouldn't fixate and be so utterly deterministic. He is also cross with colleagues for putting it in my mind so firmly! He also says we are so lucky (am 39) to be having what looks to be a healthy baby and good pregnancy that I should stick to our plan and not get into a tizz about abstract, population trends!
Anyway. I had put all this to the back of my mind and was happy with our decision and looking forward to a calm birth in a few weeks.
But after a very poor night's sleep (which usually ramps up my anxieties) I am fixating on this again and wondering what I should do.
It would be a small chance I guess that I would go overdue by 9-10 days anyway. I could end up with the EMCS I want to avoid before that time. I cannot be induced with hormones, so if I need to be induced it will be by balloon, which I'm not looking forward to...
Oh, should add I was seen throughout this pregnancy by preeclampsia clinic as I had it with my first. So mostly through this pregnancy I thought I would have given birth already, so this August/September issue (if it is even an issue) wasn't on my mind. But I haven't developed it. So I guess it's on my mind again.
Years less childcare to pay if its an august baby.
I wouldn't change my birth plans on the basis of how old a child would be in their school year. It's really not that important!
I know they say that August babies, particulary boys, perform less well, but this is only in the early years, they catch up fairly quickly. Have your baby safely and then when the time comes choose a school that aknowledges that summer babies are still really just babies. Good Luck.
Firstly I'm 20, was born August and left high school in the top 3 GCSE grades of my year with all A*'s and A's. I completed my A Levels and now I'm at uni. I'm also due today, so my little one is going to be an august baby aswell!
My mum is a reception teacher and said when the new little ones start in september then the biggest difference is how much time their parents have spent with them. There are june/july/august babies that can use scissors, get dressed for pe etc etc. Then there are september and october kids that look blankly at scissors and who's parents come in to help them dress for swimming. Obviously it works both ways and the older ones have had more time to spend at nursery and potty training etc, but it is 100% not a reason to delay the birth!!!!!!!!
By starting year 1 they are all at the exact same stage. The biggest factors are how much time you spend with them and how good their attendance is rather than month of birth.
I'm talking purely fromt hat point as I don't have any experience with C-Sections or VBAC so if thats your only reason then I really really woudn't delay it just for that! Your child doesn't have to be a statistic like that, and most of those studies were probably minimal variations played up by the daily mail.
The only thing I hated was the fact when I was 18, some of my friends could (legally_) get into club before me. But now I'm 20 and they're all 21, I like the fact I'm still younger :D
Have your nice calm ELCS and bring your baby home when planned. Hormones are racing and of course we all want the best for our LO. But realisitically, if you are the sort of parent to be this worried about it, he/she will have plenty of support at home with school work etc anyway.
Am due on 1st Sept, so on the cusp of the school year. I am not worried about when LO decides to make her appearance, it's only possibly the first few years at school when it will make a difference, if at all, it really depends on the child.
And if you have the chance of an ELCS and know that it will happen then, it will all be done nice and 'controlled' I would go for that, as opposed to waiting and hoping the VBAC is successful. Also with the previous PE, I wouldn't want to be going over at all.
I can't offer advice on the ELCS vs VBAC decision but if you're worried about the August/September baby thing: my sister is a late August birthday. I don't think she was behind at school, although this was when there were two intakes so she started a little later.
However, she now has a PhD in Mathematical Theory, teaches/lectures in Further Maths at a top school and has worked for government advisers on how to improve the teaching of maths to help children engage. Being an August baby hasn't hurt her
My DS was born 1st of August & is 1 of the youngest in his class however he has just finished year 1 top of his class, is already doing year 2 & 3 work.. Had he been born in September he would have gone stir crazy at school.
I wouldn't change your plans only for this reason!! It might not work anyway as 9-10 days overdue is quite far over, and you have no guarentee you would even get a sept baby out of it. Also just from personal experience, in my class throughout school most of the higher achieving children were actually summer born, I don't feel its necessarily a disadvantage. I think there will be a lot of other factors that are more important in how they do in school, like how much time you spend with them showing an interest in the school work, encouraging them etc. So I would not feel that August baby is a problem, it's not something to worry about. Personally I think summer birthdays can be better if they are keen to learning and go to school they don't have so long to wait.
Think about whether you would prefer a vbac or elcs, regardless of birthday.. and just go with that
This way, madness lies.
Your DH is right.
You know what will happen if you do this - it's sod's law! - you'll have the baby on the 30th August.
That said: I'm due in two weeks and it's not bothering me in the slightest that DD will be an august baby, my DH is ragingly intelligent and he's a summer baby and never had any trouble keeping up at school: a good friend was born on the 23rd august and she's got two phd's and teaches at Cambridge.
Have your CS, bring your LO home and stop listening to crazy late pg hormones!!
Both my DH and I are August babies and we were always top of the class up to our postgraduate degrees.
Hope it all goes well, whatever you decide.
10 days is very long to go over with a second baby, so I'd say not worth it because such a slim chance of success.
However, as the mother of 2 August babies then I'd say that if it were me, and if my baby was a boy, I'd try and hold on September. If your due date were 28th August and you were expecting a boy then yes, I'd say wait.
The reason I'd only do it for a boy is that sporting ability is a big social help in the playground for boys, but not really for girls.
My sister is an August baby and is super smart, I am a late July and I did well in school, especially as I went to a rubbish secondary. Try not to worry!
I agree totally with Dilys. If you were due in September or v v late August, I'd be tempted to go with your plan and pray you hung on. However, as you're not, I'd just go with the original plan and have the C-section - your husband is so right that there is more to it than just when they are born. FWIW, my cousin was a 31 August baby boy, and was the brightest child in his year - it really needn't be an issue.
I empathise, I really do. DS due date was 13th August and he arrived 26th August. I was starting to wonder if I could cross my legs until September and get away with it! The way I look at it is I can't believe there are no doctors/lawyers/accountants with bithdays in August so I'm sure he'll be fine.
Thanks so much for talking some sense into me. I do realise that it's irrational, really, but you can't stop what niggles at you, particularly at 3am.
It helps to ask as my husband is the only person I've spoken to about this and it's useful to hear a voice from outside.
I'm going to stick with my decision, as it's one that took a lot of thought and discussion and ultimately I'm happy with it. I look at my daughter (we both work part time and look after her) and she's head and shoulders ahead of some children -- emotionally and intellectually and wouldn't worry about her fitting in.
You've also reminded me that even though I've escaped PE so far, it probably wouldn't be wise to tempt fate by going so far over my due date.
Thanks again. And very best of luck to those due soon.
Hot eh, today!
Yes you can get pe very late on, I got it at 41 weeks.
I think a decision like this should only be based on what is best for the health of you and your baby - not on statistics and possibilities. So my answer is yes - madness!!!
I'm glad you've arrived at that decision. Your dh is spot on - and it is madness to potentially put your baby's health as well as your own at risk for an issue which may or may not be a problem.
Good luck with your elcs!
I agree with the others. I do think autumn babies are at an advantage in the school system, but this is not significant enough to change your mode of delivery. Put clinical considerations first. And good luck
Or if you wait, your baby could arrive on the 1st Sept and be very forward but they will have to start school a whole year later than they otherwise could have.
I should point out that I would never have gone against medical advice or put my unborn child's health at risk. I never discussed this with my consultant but if I had and he'd had cautioned against going overdue with a potential PE issue I'd not have thought a second longer about it.
Also, I understand that the difference may be minimal across a population but meaningless on an individual level. I'm an autumn baby, my husband is a summer baby and we both went to Oxford, so it can't be that deterministic a factor in holding a student back.
Just wish my colleague hadn't delighted in winding me up about it.
Thanks for the good wishes, will continue as planned.
Im due 11th September (13th by my dates which ARE right)
I had planned a september baby, and personally i really REALLY want it in September. In now thinking i should have waited another month before trying
Unless something was severley wrong i wouldnt consent to being induced / c section before 1st September.
You can always keep your august baby back a year at school, they don't have to start until the term before their 5th b day so can go anytime.
Ds in a June baby and i was really worried he wouldn't be ready for school and contemplated keeping him home longer however nursery and dh talked me out of it and he now goes in Sept. I'm really pleased, he is a 2nd child and although just 4 is already reading and writing the basics and very socially capable, I put this mainly down to him being a 2nd child and seeing his sister doing it all. You can't tell from statistics how your child will be. Do what ever is right and safe for your birth don't even consider education. I bet there is plenty of medics with August birthdays.
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