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This pregnancy with a toddler in tow is going really quickly

(45 Posts)
Ivortheengine8 Sat 30-Jul-11 21:49:36

Last time I was so bored by now (29 weeks) but I feel this is going so much more quickly, even too quick. I still have lots of stuff to get and plan.
DD is keeping me really busy and the weeks have flown by, but I am starting to feel prety tired and slobbish now.

Does the 3rd trimester go as quickly or is it going to go really slowly again.

Its also so hot and muggy atm, I feel like a slug on rollerskates. smile

dribbleface Sat 30-Jul-11 22:01:16

hi. I'm 30 weeks and have a 3 year old. time is flying by and I'm not prepared in the slightest! last time i Mrs organised this time round i just don't have the time!

Ivortheengine8 Sat 30-Jul-11 22:04:24

I know dribble, last time I kept reorganising clothes,folding,putting away etc...

It takes us about 2 hours to even get out of the house for a walk!

CBear6 Sat 30-Jul-11 23:16:30

I've got a little boy, he'll be 2 in three weeks time and I'm due three weeks after that - the time is going scarily fast and it seems like yesterday I was getting my BFP.

MrsBloomingTroll Sun 31-Jul-11 07:36:52

I'm 38 weeks with a 3 yo DD and still keep being surprised when I look down and see my mahoosive bump!

It has flown by. I literally blinked and missed the 2nd trimester. 3rd trimester has been quite uncomfortable and tough due to DD's clinginess. Such a different pregnancy to last time!

CBear6 Sun 31-Jul-11 08:26:42

My DS has been a bit clingy these last few weeks too MrsBlooming. he keeps wanting me to carry him when we're out even when he's in his buggy and to be on my knee when we're at home which isn't like him. I think he's seeing me get bigger and it's making him a bit insecure.

Is anyone else smaller this time? I'm carrying much smaller this time than I was with DS and have put less weight on too even though I feel like I've ate more junk. It must be all the running around (not that I'm physically capable of running nowadays).

dribbleface Sun 31-Jul-11 09:28:15

I've put on less weight this time but am massive! And very uncomfortable. DS is very clingy too, guess its natural, must be a bit odd for them!

Ivortheengine8 Sun 31-Jul-11 09:32:46

cbear, mine will be 2 in October too when the baby is supposed to arrive.
She hasn't been too clingy yet, she prefers to run off and destroy things sad
That might change though a bit later on. Its tantrums galore though!

Claire and mblooming, Do you think they sense something is going to happen even at this age?
I'm not sure if dd can, we have kept it all pretty low profile. (crib not even up yet,car seat not bought yet)
She refers to babies as 'babu' and feeds her dolly/puts her to bed/takes for a walk etc....grin

titferbrains Sun 31-Jul-11 09:33:40

am 32 wks and it's not going quick enough for me. all sorts of things to grumble about, endless hosp visits with no car, DD getting naughtier AND clingier... just want baby out so I can find out what the sex is and get thru the grim newborn bits (not that newborns are grim but trying to figure out how to keep them happy is a trial).

Ivortheengine8 Sun 31-Jul-11 09:35:02

Dribble, I think I have too but am too scared to weigh myself grin Definately doing more physically though as I have to get out everyday at least once or she goes crazy!
Does your 3 year old understand what's happening?

Ivortheengine8 Sun 31-Jul-11 09:36:28

grin titfer so true! I don't know the sex either. How old is your dc?

titferbrains Sun 31-Jul-11 09:42:04

DD is nearly 3. Currently drawing on anything inappropriate - our white dining room chairs, our walls, the windows - and having tantrums when we say not telly, when I say it's time for bath/nappy change/that we have to go to shops not playground etc etc. They are mercifully brief but the fact that she is fighting everything is very wearing. I think it's partly because of baby due and partly just being nearly 3 - 3 seems to be a difficult age and something we just have to get thru.

dribbleface Sun 31-Jul-11 09:45:43

yep he does understand, he is quite tunned in to things. He told me i was having a baby soon when i was 6 weeks and not told him (strange child!). He packed up some toys yesterday and told me he was too big for these and the baby (who he named penelope sp?) could have them!

The reality will be a shocker for him though, he is spoilt by us and my parents (first grandchild) and will not take kindly to sharing my attention. In the long run though he will be happy to have a sibling i'm sure.

Ivortheengine8 Sun 31-Jul-11 09:54:37

oh Goodness, we had the drawing all over everything. We have had to ban all crayons or anything used to write. She even used my DH's shoes polish to colour in the floor the other day! My make up (which never really gets used anyway!) is all trashed too sad Seriously need some really high cupboards.
LOL dribble. baby penelope!

LackingNicknameInspiration Sun 31-Jul-11 13:49:27

Am expecting DS3, but pregnancy with DD2 absolutely flew by. As did the baby stage, which is good and bad - does at least makes you enjoy the good bits and be a bit more able to overlook the bad.
I wasn't really 'ready' as such when DD2 arrived, but we got there eventually - it really struck me how much she slept as a baby (well, in the day, anyway...) so I had a bit more time than I'd expected even with feeding.
DD1 was 2y 2m when DD2 arrived and was much better than expected - even though it was December and we couldn't get out much - the distraction of Christmas helped. Think the fact that baby doesn't do much for the first few months gives them plenty of time to adjust - which was good, as she was first grandchild for both sets of grandparents and the apple of umpteen eyes.
Other reassuring thing is that I found newborn and toddler much easier than heavily pregnant and toddler.
Best of luck with it, take it easy as much as you can, you'll get there eventually, either before or after little one comes along. As long as you have bed, pushchair and, if needed, a car seat, that's the main thing. And, of course, humongous maternity pads, that was the first thing I bought last time grin

sodthehousework Sun 31-Jul-11 15:00:33

I'm now 30 weeks with dc2, not sure what we're having this time as baby wasn't cooperative in the scan so will be a surprise this time! Ds1 will be 2.5 when new baby arrives. The time so far has flown by, there's just less time to think about being pregnant with a toddler in the house! I don't feel v organised yet but will soon start maternity leave as I have some holiday to use up so hoping to get prepared then!

michelle1979 Sun 31-Jul-11 15:44:00

Hi all, your comments have reassured me. I'm 32 weeks pregnant (having a boy) with a nearly 3 yr old. He has absolutely exhausted me these past few weeks, and it doesn't help that i have a massive bump! I thought there was something wrong with me feeling so tired (and a little bit down) but I now realise its just because there was no toddler to look after last time, and bless him he can't understand that mummy can't run after him now and pick him up! He does seem to be going through a phase of "no" "no" "no!" All the time which is draining. My pregnancy has flew and I don't feel organised at all either. Dreading the birth but looking forward to being able to walk for 5 minutes without collapsing on the couch! x

CBear6 Sun 31-Jul-11 16:10:51

Pushing DS's buggy is getting to be a bit of an ordeal mind you, especially uphill or if I put bags on the handles. Our nearest shops are a quarter mile walk away, normally it's nothing for me but I got down there the other day and had to ring DH to come push the buggy home with all the bags on it! I felt about this big <fingers pinched together emoticon>

DS sort of knows what's going on. I don't think he fully understand but he'll kiss my tummy and say "hi baby", he likes to put gifts for the baby in my belly button which can be a bit alarming and he enjoys lifting my top or pulling it down to show other people the baby - I can add Asda to the list of people who've seen my bra blush

However he also thinks DH has a baby in his tummy and that he has one in his own, I've caught him more than once trying to put things in his own belly button for his baby.

titferbrains Sun 31-Jul-11 17:00:00

DD has shown no such signs of love or affection for my bump. Am really hoping that focussing on the first meeting will help ease things along. Have come up with the special gift from the new baby - a buzz lightyear toy - which I am pretty sure will be received with great excitement as she is endlessly disappointed that the helmet doesn't go back on the little figure she has - and have read that baby shd not be in mum's arms when they meet - neutral ground best eg. carseat or whatever - and not to refer to baby as my (mummy's) baby but rather your (DC1's) brother/sister. Anyone else read anything useful about encouraging them to get along? Also hope to try to give DD little jobs - want to get a box with DC2 changing stuff and muslins to keep in tv room, so she can be in charge of bringing a clean nappy etc. A mum I met with a toddler and twins sad this seemed to work.

Ivortheengine8 Sun 31-Jul-11 18:23:50

Titfer, thats a great idea, Thanks for the tip, I will out for a little something to give dd when dc2 arrives.

Haha cbear, grin

Are any of you going to antenatal classes or anything? I havent signed up for any, keep forgetting.

'Other reassuring thing is that I found newborn and toddler much easier than heavily pregnant and toddler' Lots of people have told me this Lacking, its just hard to believe! sad I'm actually dreading getting out of the house/going shopping etc.

MrsBloomingTroll Sun 31-Jul-11 21:46:45

Sorry for not returning to this thread sooner - internet was down for most of the day.

DD (age 3) has been very aware of what's going on for some months. Many of her nursery friends are having younger siblings at the moment and they talk about it lots at nursery (led by care workers, of course). I think we probably told her too early in the pregnancy and she's been fed up of how much less physical I can be with her and how much less willing I've been to play with her through being tired. We've had a lot of bad behaviour from her and settling her into her newest nursery class has been a complete nightmare, not to mention the total potty training regression (have given up, for now).

I'm really hoping that once the baby's here I'll see more affection and she will be the helpful soul she can be when she wants, rather than the sulks and tantrums when Mummy has to deal with the baby rather than play with her.

I did the NCT refresher course, primarily as I'd moved area and wanted to meet some mums-to-be at the same stage as me. I still see my old NCT group but we're all now at different stages with baby number two. Having a new set of mums-to-be local to me has been great. And it turned out that I didn't know it all from first time around, as some of the medical guidelines had changed since having DD.

sodthehousework Sun 31-Jul-11 21:57:37

I had a look for nct refresher classes but there aren't any running anywhere near enough. Would have liked to meet more people locally as we are fairly new to the area and our antenatal group was v small. My Ds also thinks everyone has a baby in their tummy! grin
Probably an improvement from what he used to say was in daddy's tummy (poo and wee!).
Starting to get a little bit anxious about giving birth again, first time delivery was fine but all went a bit wrong afterwards with an infection and readmission. Have been told will be in for 48 hours this time but am going to miss Ds hugely and am hoping it won't mean that meeting his brother or sister is more difficult as a result.

CBear6 Sun 31-Jul-11 22:05:17

I got told that it's easiest to slot baby into toddler's routine rather than the other way around because then it's less unsettling for the older one.

Also that if both babies need something at the same time, provided it's not life-threatening, then see to the toddlers needs first. A newborn won't remember having to wait a couple of minutes whereas a toddler will and will resent it.

My dad also told me to expect DS to be a bit put out when the baby arrives, especially once he realises it's staying but that he'll get over it. My first words when I saw my brother were "Urg! Put it back!", I was 2yo. A few days later I was asking if it was time for him to go back to his own house yet. Then I put some peas up his nose when my parents were looking. Then I was fine smile

CBear6 Sun 31-Jul-11 22:06:09

*weren't looking

MrsBloomingTroll Sun 31-Jul-11 22:12:40

The advice about getting a present from the baby to your toddler is good advice.

In my NCT refresher course we covered this subject at some length and the advice was:

1) consider celebrating the baby's arrival like a birthday - cake, presents, etc, to get the toddler excited. Otherwise the baby can seem quite boring.
2) consider buying a toy camera for the toddler so they can join in taking photos of the baby (and visitors)
3) ask visitors to bring at least a small present for the toddler as well as the baby, even if it's just some sweets
4) ask visitors not to brush past your toddler and go straight to the baby, but acknowledge the toddler first. Avoid any impression that the baby is "replacing" the toddler in anyone's affections.
5) let your toddler open the baby's presents so it's exciting for them
6) generally get the toddler involved in helping as much or as little as they want
7) be prepared for the fact that others will want to take the toddler out of your way to give you time to rest with the baby - but you might prefer to take the toddler out yourself and leave the baby at home with someone else when possible. The toddler can walk/talk and is going to be more interesting than the baby for some time.
8) try to keep to toddler's normal routine if that is what you and your family agree is the right thing to do.


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