Anyone used an independent midwife before? Meeting one tomor, what to ask?

[purcellfan]

As above, am meeting an im tommorow and trying to compile list of questions to ask her, to help decide whether to hire her or not. Any suggestions?

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

I've used two different Ind Mw's, and from memory the questions I asked were:

What was her Mwifery experience?
How many births had she attended as an IM?
What was her transfer rate? (I'm a homebirther)
Why did she become an IM?

Just from talking to them and talking about the reasons why I wanted an IM (bad first birth experience), I got a gauge of whether they were the IM for me. For me a lot of my decision was based on personality.

Good luck!

[purcellfan]

That's helpful, thanks. Yes am hoping for a homebirth, nearly managed it with first but had to be transferred (various reasons) so hoping it will work out with second and thinking an IM is the way forward.

[issynoko]

Give her the scenario you had when you had to transfer and see what she would do in the circs.

Good luck - I had one hospital and then 2 homebirths and they are lovely if all going well.

[addictedtofrazzles]

I had an IM for dc2 and I didn't even think to 'interview' her! All I knew was that this woman was going to be very significant in the birth (and I couldn't believe how essential they are afterwards) and see me at my most vulnerable. What mattered to me was that I liked her! It took a few appointments to get to know her and I thought she was wonderful (the paired midwife I wasn't so crazy about but to be honest the consistency of care is worth it's weight in gold). Good luck

[purcellfan]

That's a very good point addictedtofrazzles, easy to get bogged down in info and forget!

[PinkFondantFancy]

Other questions that people told me to ask following on from a thread I started on this a few months ago:

• how many babies have you delivered
  
• particular areas of expertise
  
• timings of planned holidays
  
• how is backup organised?
  
• how many times will you meet the backup midwife
  
• timetable of antenatal/postnatal care
  
• hoe many other clients due around the time that you are
  
• when did she become an IM and why

[Beesok]

I am seeing an IM throughout this pregnancy - haven't given birth yet so can't comment on that but wanted to say that I am very happy so far, as someone mentioned above, in addition to experience I wanted someone I liked, felt comfortable with and who was totally on my side! I want a hospital birth but want the support of someone who is completely looking out for what's best for myself and the baby, I can trust and knows what they are doing (my DH fits only the first two criteria ;)

I met her before my first pregnancy and then sadly went on to have a MMC but her very positive support (and to mention free - hadn't even paid her yet!) throughout my MC was also one of the reasons I called her again when I fell pregnant with this bean

[purcellfan]

Thanks guys, am writing a list! Beesok that's interesting that you're having an IM even for a hospital birth - was it the antenatal care that you found important then? Last time I had a doula, which was great, like you say, someone I liked who was totally on my side, but I feel that an IM would give me more peace of mind for the homebirth thing and also ensure continuity of antenatal care.

[PinkFondantFancy]

Like beesok I've got an IM and am planning a hospital birth. I too haven't given birth yet but I'm really impressed with her so far. I am v scared of the hospital leaving DH and me alone for long periods (ESP as it's a September baby so likely to be v busy at hospital) and felt that it's a lot of pressure on DH if he's got to make the call about if something's wrong or we need more help or a second opinion etc. Plus, as you say, going on friends' experiences, the antenatal care will be invaluable.

[Beesok]

Hi purcell I am having an IM with hospital birth for the same reasons as PinkFondant - this is my first and I just have no clue what to expect and putting all the responsibility on poor DH would be too much pressure - if a dr suggests something how will he know if it's the right choice???
Also, this way I don't need to go to any antenatal classes etc (don't need them from a social aspect as have lots of friends in "baby mode") our midwife will explain everything we need to know and meet my DH and tell him what is expected of him, also having my appointments at home whenever it's convenient for me and not waiting around a hospital waiting room to meet yet another strange face has alone been worth it so far :)