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Pregnancy

Pregnant over 40

9 replies

Jinx1906 · 14/07/2011 09:47

Already have 2 children 7 and 11. We celebrated my 40th birthday last week and were looking forward to getting more freedom now the kids are getting more independent. Just found out that I'm pregnant! (whilst on mini-pil). I have not seen the GP as yet so don't know if it is a viable pregnancy, bearing in mind the mini-pill issue. Feeling somewhat confused, emotional and worried about what is to come. Anyone been there?

thanks

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Kaelle · 14/07/2011 10:20

Yep, but my older two were slightly younger, all dd's. No3 is now 5yrs, w older ones 11and 13. Of course I absolutely adore no 3, but it did set me for a downward spin, which is now culminating in divorce!! As always, there's never easy cause and effect, and our breakup is complicated but I would really think VERY hard about what you want to do w your life. Having said all that, wait until u know for sure and then write down all the things u think it would affect and have a serious talk w yourself, DH and an objective friend, prob someone in her 40's whose children are sim age to your older two. Over 40 is a great time of confidence, and now that I'm 48, and finally ready to go back into work, the whole process is much more daunting than it was 6 yrs ago!!

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zazizoma · 14/07/2011 10:20

Hi, twelve weeks pregnant with #3 at 42. My understanding is that the likelihood of conceiving is greatly reduced after 40, so we're looking at this is a blessing, come what may, and making a point of not worrying about stats and what might go wrong.

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Jinx1906 · 14/07/2011 10:40

Thanks,

I have only gone back to work just under 3 years ago, after a 5 year break. I don't think I would take time out this time. I think I would try to return after 6 months on a part time basis. I think that if I give up work now, I'm finished and will never be able to get back.

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meravigliosa · 14/07/2011 10:59

Will be nearly 42 by the time this baby arrives (currently 28 weeks). I am lucky in that this is what I want, although have had quite a lot of freedom as care of 2 older children pretty much 50/50 with exH, and obviously everything will change! I am going back to work within 5/6 months, financially imperative as SE. I am sad about that in a way, as it would have been nice to have more time with this baby, as felt my maternity leave (if you can call it that when you are SE!) very short with the others, but don't feel quite so daunted as I did when younger. And it is good to go back to work if you like your job and don't want to risk not getting back.

I can totally understand that with your baby being unplanned you will have lots of conflicting thoughts about this, and you need to work them through with DH. What I would say is that at 40+ you have your eyes wide open as to what having a baby involves, but in your situation (and mine) you are not combining care of a new baby with care of a very young child or children, but with care of more independent beings. I also think that I probably restricted myself more than I needed to when older children were babies, eg I didn't appreciate how relatively portable they were and how much easier to cart about than older toddlers, and I hope, if all goes well, to be a bit bolder this time. Will also need to be in order not to restrict activities of older 2 too much. Friends with a gap like this say it's inevitable baby gets dragged in the wake of the older ones a bit, and maybe that's no bad thing.

Sorry to ramble on and for such a long reply. Best of luck.

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ckny1 · 14/07/2011 11:08

I had my first (planned) at 40, and my DH and whole family were thrilled, plus my DS has given me a whole new excitement to my life. I really took care of my body while pregnant, Pilates every day (at home), and ate super-healthy, and felt better than ever. However, I sometimes wonder whether the exhaustion I experienced after he was born caused irreparable damage (b/p from stress, major bags under eyes, muscle ache from lack of time for exercise,...)! :)

If you and your DH are happy about this, then why not? I'm sure your older children would love it as well, could be a nice learning experience for them!

Good luck with your decision!

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mrsaligee · 14/07/2011 13:00

I had my first (unplanned) just before my 42nd birthday and at 43 am 27 weeks with number 2 daughter. We were originally told by consultant after 3 failed IVF attempts to consider adoption but neither of us wanted it, so went on a cruise and got pregnant with my first daughter. Second pregnancy came about during a significant period of stress earlier in the year but I guess our minds were off babymaking...lol

I haven't got older kids but I would imagine it would be good to get their help and support with this baby. I understand your feelings though, at this age you feel the tiredness more and right now I'm finding it quite hard to cope.

Best of luck

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Jinx1906 · 19/07/2011 12:05

Started bleeding yesterday. Was sad at first but I'm ok now, guess it wasn't to be. In a way I also feel relieved, not sure if this is normal. Anyway when we get back from hols DH is going for the chop. I do feel our family is complete now.

Good luck to all of you and thank you so much for your messages.

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deardear · 19/07/2011 14:52

thats really sad to hear Jinx. i am 41 and expecting number 3. bit of a shock but hey ho. still have mixed thoughts as to how its going to pan out but its happening.