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Tips on handling DC1 in last few days of 2nd pregnancy

(7 Posts)
3become4 Thu 07-Jul-11 09:45:14

Well someone has kindly started a thread telling me how to cope when DC2 finally arrives but how the hell do I cope until then please?! Am overdue with DC2 and feeling like a terrible mother to DC1. I'm grumpy, hormonal and a total pushover so she's getting spoilt in a begrudging I-can't-be-bothered-to-deal-with-a-tantrum type way. DH is trying hard to let me rest so getting overtired and grumpy himself. She's almost 3 and a good girl - I think she just knows a big change is coming and is pushing our buttons and testing out limits. Or maybe I have been just spoiling her and creating a rod for my own back...

So, any tips on how best to manage these last few days? DH can only be around so much and don't really have any other support lined up until I'm in labour.

Bumpsadaisie Thu 07-Jul-11 12:02:01

I will be in the same boat in Oct and watch with interest!!

pirateparty Thu 07-Jul-11 13:07:55

Its really hard, isn't it? I sympathise having been in your position a few weeks/ months ago. If it's any consolation in some ways it's easier now - even with a newborn to contend with, although the challenges are different, obviously.

I shamelessly used my friends and family to help out, and cbeebies and dvds of Fireman Sam / Tractor Ted were well used!

I arranged things with my nct friends so ds could play with his friends, and if he ran off/ needed picking up etc my friends helped out. This was SO appreciated, and will make sure I am first to invite them over and help out when they are in the same position.

My Mum is a few hours away but asked her to come for a few days - I needed her more before than afterwards tbh.

I kept ds with his usual childcare three days a week despite being on mat leave. I picked him up early but three days a week had a lie in. I felt really guilty, but it did help enormously.

And, while he had his nap, or the night before, I would prepare something to 'do'. Like get the stuff out to make a rocket, or paints, or ingredients out to bake something very simple. Not that he always wanted to...

And lowered my standards re housekeeping significantly (which aren't up there at the best of times) and my dh came home in time to cook supper.

All very different to the lovely lunches out, shopping, facials etc that I had in my first maternity leave before ds arrived!

And now ds2 is here, if I'm honest it's still the toddler who is more work. I keep wondering what I did with all that spare time first time round! And the baby bit is much easier this time round (but just as lovely).

Hope that helps.

Good luck!

3become4 Thu 07-Jul-11 13:50:10

Thanks for the sympathy pirateparty! That really does help. And very reassuring to know you found things easier after ds2 was born. I think I've just been getting myself all worked up and stressed out about the whole thing. I am thinking about asking my Mum to come down sooner rather than later too. Could really do with a bit of help now which I hadn't really anticipated before. Must try your trick of organising activities the night before too (sadly she doesn't nap anymore!) although I fear I'm a bit too lazy for that! Also still using childcare 3 days a week too - thank goodness!

fairy1978 Thu 07-Jul-11 20:44:01

HI, I have a 3.5 year old and an almost 2 year old and am 40+1 and know how you feel!

I try and make sure that I have outings planned for the morning - trip to friends, toddler group, walk to the park/beach, try and give them as much fresh air then when they come home we have lunch then nap/rest time. (me too) You could maybe put a dvd on for her after lunch and just have some mummy and sofa time.

It is hard and I keep getting really upset that if I am finding it difficult how will I cope when the baby makes its appearance but it is a different type of challenge and although you will probably be tired because you have a newborn you probably won't be as irritable as you don't have all of the other usual pregnancy related awfulness!!
Good luck and it does get easier (well thats what I keep telling myself) xx

Zimbah Thu 07-Jul-11 22:00:22

I have a 2.5 yr old and a 6 week old and it's much easier to cope now than it was in late pregnancy! I went to 41+5 so I know how you must be feeling. Admittedly DD2 sleeps really well and is a generally "good" baby (unlike DD1 who was lovely of course but cried all the time and was an awful sleeper). But I definitely found the last few weeks of being heavily pregnant and dealing with DD1 much harder than I find it now, I was so tired and hormonal and it's hard to be cheerful and deal with a toddler tantrum when you desperately need the loo... I definitely think getting your mum to come early to help you would be good. Also if you've got any decent charity shops near you, go and pick up some toys/activities so that you can give new and exciting things for DD to play with that won't cost you much. And try getting some CDs with actions that you can join in a bit with (from the sofa) to do together - these are useful for when you're feeding the baby too as you can still participate by singing/arm actions etc.

As well as dropping my standards for housework (admittedly never very high to begin with) I also dropped standards for meals and snacks - DD had more 'junk' type snacks like kids carrotcake bars, more meals like beans on toast etc - it's not forever. DD watched a fair bit more tv than I would usually like. TV watching ramped up significantly in the first two weeks after DD2 was born and have now dropped back to being a bit more reasonable.

3become4 Fri 08-Jul-11 14:01:35

Thanks both. I'm feeling very reassured that things will be easier, rather than harder, when DC2 arrives. And I think I'm just feeling a bit less hormonal and crazy too! My standards have definitely slipped too but I guess like you said Zimbah it's not forever so I shouldn't feel guilty about that.

Had a sweep today and got an induction date so either way the end is in sight...

Eek!

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