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Antenatal depression - has anyone got any advice?

(16 Posts)
SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 16:34:41

I am really struggling at the moment, I feel miserable, don't enjoy anything I do etc. I'm normally quite busy and self motivated. I just feel swamped by everything and even my beautiful daughter (age 4) is suffering because I'm not such a good mum, got a short fuse etc. On top of this I feel utterly guilty that I should be excited about the new baby (I'm only 15 weeks) but I just can't be. Every now and again there is a glimmer of excitement or a little joy but it is tough living like this.

Anyone also going through this or has been through it and got any advice? Should I visit my GP? What can they do to help? Also might it be better to post this in mental health?

KatyN Wed 06-Jul-11 16:40:47

Defo speak to your gp. Now.

Stop reading mums net and get some help.

it's no fun.

(nice name by the way!)

KatyN Wed 06-Jul-11 16:46:28

or you might want to read my next post... yes your gp can defo help you. They can talk through what you are feeling and monitor how bad it is. They can suggest practical support if there is a practical problem (ie you are exhausted not clinically depressed) or they can refer you for counselling either to talk about what you are feeling or to look at techniques to help you deal with your depression. It's a fair way off but they might also suggest extra support, or coping methods for when you LO arrived.
They can also perscribe medication if they feel that's necessary (and mny many AD are alright in pregnancy).
If you see your GP and they don't do all this, go see another.

I have depression.. not Antenatal depression just all the time stuff. my GP and MW are really supportive, I've had advice on my meds and other than the normal emotinos/exhaustion of pregnancy I'm fine.
good luck, kt

lolajane2009 Wed 06-Jul-11 16:52:20

go see your doctor. i am lucky in that my depression seems to have disappeared in my pregnancy but before I was pregnant it was horrible and I couldnt even function without medication.

some medication is fine during pregnancy and sometimes it is better to take it than to not as things may get wworse without it.

SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 16:56:32

Thank you for your advice KT, it is horrible feeling like this. I've made an appointment with my GP so that's a start.

I feel like a car that needs some jump leads to re start every hour. Every now and again I think I've got over it - it got really bad then I started to feel better just as I was about to see GP and I thought it was all related to the first trimester. I was very wrong as I've plummeted again and am worse than before. My poor DH is concerned and has no idea what to do and I don't know what to say to get him to help either. I just feel on the verge of tears a lot of the time and get home and do nothing. I think from the outside (other than DH) I probably look like I'm fine as I stick to commitments as I realise this actually helps if I am not at home.

DH and I have read the AN depression leaflet and I've told my parents as I thought it might be good to be open about it.

The only good thing I suppose is that I have a new found respect for anyone that deals with depression on a daily basis. What strategies do you use to enjoy the things you should/normally do?

PeggyCarter Wed 06-Jul-11 16:59:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatyN Wed 06-Jul-11 17:02:42

Back again! your reply made me fill up. My last 'episode' I would sit on the sofa and stare into space.. could do this for several hours at a time. sometimes I had a book in my hand, others I just sat there (I was off work and I dont have children!). well done to have told your DH and your folks.

it WILL get better. it just takes a bit of time.

SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 17:03:19

Thank you TJPJ, I'll hunt for your post. Sorry you are going through this too sad

PeggyCarter Wed 06-Jul-11 17:05:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 17:12:51

TJPJ how horrible to have had this since a teenager, I can't imagine it.

I think my mum had undiagnosed PND with my brother who is damaged by his relationship with my mum, she was violent towards him etc. I think I had it after my first DD but we lived abroad and there was little support. I also went back to work when DD was just 4 months; we had a nanny and this was the norm. Actually I think that was my saving grace as I focused on other things and slowly got back on track but DH said I was incredibly difficult at the time and I found it hard to see. His biggest fear is 'that I am the same as last time' (we ended up splitting up for a short while when DD was 2 and I think it was all related as he was miserable and drinking too much and I was miserable being miserable). I don't want any of that to happen this time but was so relieved when the midwife asked me a few questions and I realised what it was. At first I thought I'd just been injected with some lazy disease and couldn't think why I couldn't do anything.

TJPJ my independent 4 year old wants to play with me all the time, she talks incessantly and wants to play 'lets pretend', I just zone out and don't listen and then feel utterly terrible.

I was thinking of making a weekly schedule including cleaning, time with DD, walking etc. giving myself a few hours off too so that I feel less guilty all the time. Do you think that would help, or will I just feel like a failure if I don't manage it (I'd make it manageable, I just think with the summer holidays coming up poor DD will end up doing nothing).

PeggyCarter Wed 06-Jul-11 17:21:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 17:24:25

Yes I liked the weekly schedule thing, have been thinking about it for weeks but funnily enough have not had the motivation to do it! Hell. Also think must see as a guide is good.

I do have a few friends locally as DD attends a small preschool, thank goodness for them that's all I can say.

PeggyCarter Wed 06-Jul-11 17:50:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SenoritaViva Wed 06-Jul-11 19:04:21

I have alluded to not feeling great to a few friends but we have only lived here for a year and so don't know people that well. I don't really mind people knowing, I don't believe it is anything to be embarrassed about, even if you find out who your friends are. So far people have been terribly understanding.

DH and I went for one Relate session which got us talking and with my work pressures it never went further which wasn't ideal.

My parents don't really know how to deal with this kind of thing, they're rather traditional and stiff upper lip sort of English, but that said seemed very concerned and I think will really do what they can. Sadly they lived 2 1/2 hours away otherwise they'd help out a lot with DD. Family support would be great right now, but luckily never had it so I don't miss it as such.

Thanks KT and Jumpingpuddles, just writing this down and talking has lifted my spirits slightly. I even had the motivation to clean the bathroom...

wompoopigeon Wed 06-Jul-11 19:27:24

Sorry to hear this- doesn't sound like fun.
As well as the good advice above, do keep an eye on the obvious stuff like a) eating healthily (strong correlation with mental health) b) moderate exercise (swimming, yoga, walks outside etc) and c) most important - be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would a good friend. If you feel swamped- do the minimum to get through. You are pg with a small child, you have every excuse to rest and treat yourself.

PeggyCarter Wed 06-Jul-11 19:57:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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