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You're big, aren't you?

(71 Posts)
chinateacup Wed 06-Jul-11 09:23:22

Aaaargh ffs I know this has been done to death but I am really SICK of people saying "you're big aren't you." A man - a stranger has just come to clean my oven. The conversation goes along the lines of pleasantries then launches straight in there with " when are you due?" "9 weeks i tell him." "oh, you're big, you look ready now". " oh, that's not really what I want to hear".
A lady in my office said the same to me yesterday. even my sister in law said "wow! it's been so long since we saw you. and we are so used to you being so tiny..."
I am so fed up it's making me a bit sad. I have already gained 3 stone so not been the most careful but my size 12 mat wear fits so I didn' t think I was doing too badly. I was MUCH bigger by now with DS1 and nobody said anything. Please cheer me up or tell me something clever to say that doesn't make me sound like I am totally defensive. I really do want to go and have a little cry sad

Renaissance227 Wed 06-Jul-11 09:30:06

"I am big. It's called being pregnant. What's your excuse?!"
"Your very perceptive aren't you?!" (very sarcastic tone for that one!)

Not good with the come back lines but don't you take a blind bit of notice. I've always been a size 12 and still am at 24 weeks, BUT I've always had comments on my weight and you wouldn't believe the comments I've had from some people about the amount of weight I've put on, even though it really is just baby and bump etc!!!
Ignore them and enjoy your beautiful bump. I'm sure you look just fine. smile
P.S. As for the woman in the office she has probably been jealous of your slim figure and sees a baby bump as an opportunity to make herself feel better. Silly cow!

spookshowangel Wed 06-Jul-11 09:31:29

your ugly aren't you.

upahill Wed 06-Jul-11 09:32:38

It's only people taking an interest.
And besides you ARE (probably !!) big. It's part of being pregnant.

Please don't take it to heart to much and you will be back to normal soon.

Enjoy your pregnancy!

MrsRhettButler Wed 06-Jul-11 09:39:33

I'm at exactly the same stage as you op, I am due on sep 3rd so just over 8 weeks to go now.

People keep saying it to me too and it can really get you down if you let it.
A mum in the park asked if I was going to pop yesterday and I said no, 9 weeks left, she made a 'wow' face and said are you sure it's not twins...

I really wanted to mention how extremely humugous she had got during he last pg but I thought no, just smile and no, smile and nod.
I did surprise me that another woman who had been through pg would say it though

purpleplump Wed 06-Jul-11 09:45:32

I was at a friends house yesterday and the moms fella walked through and looked at me and went "biiiiiiiiggggg" and i just sorted of slowly nodded and sarcastically went "yeaaahhhh" twunt! would you walk up to a plain old fat person and do that? No? Well don't bloody do it to me! lol ugh!
There was also a woman in the lift once when I was four months pregnant (and not even that big) and she went "Not long to go then?" her face when I said "No, still got 5 months left" and just smiled sweetly. People just don't know what to say to pregnant women sometimes!!

I am now at the point where I'm 3 days overdue and I'm getting asked constantly if there has been any sign yet, drives me mad!

NewMummy5July2011 Wed 06-Jul-11 09:46:46

That has been my biggest pet hate - women who have been pregnant making comments on how big you are! Drives me round the bend! It doesn't bother me so much from blokes (being blokes they don't really get it) but it drives me round the bend when women who have been through it say it!

I'm sure you look absolutely beautiful - show that bump off and remember you are doing the most amazing thing by bringing a child into this world.

I've had strangers do the same thing to me - about 6 weeks ago had a really rude woman in a shop roll her eyes in face when I told her I had 6 weeks to go - she literally said 'I don't believe your dates are right then because you look too big!' Can you believe it?

Renaissance227 - absolutely LOVE your comeback line about 'what's your excuse?!' Wish I had that one up my sleever earlier on!

Renaissance227 Wed 06-Jul-11 09:47:01

That's so cheeky! I'd never dare say that to someone, let alone another pregnant lady!
Just ignore these stupid, insensitive women. x

NatzCNL Wed 06-Jul-11 09:56:53

Same here, Im due 22nd Sept, so still 11 weeks left. Last week I visited a friend, and her friend who Ive met on the odd occassion asked how long I had left, when I told her she said "wow you are gonna be huge, I was that big when I gave birth!" - how I didn't smack her in the mouth I dont know. Then 2 days ago all the mums at my daughters pre-school were commenting on how tiny I am.... cant win either way!

My babies have growth spurts so at some points I get big quick, then I stay a similar size for a couple of weeks until the next growth spurt kicks in. I felt huge at 5 months and got lots of comments about my size, then a week later people were surprised that I hadn't doubled in size again!

Ignore them, I tend to tell people, 'Yes, there is a small person in there, what did you expect?' And have said this on a few occassions. Dont care if people think it is slightly rude, I think it is very rude to call me fatty but I get that from them angry

And bearing in mind I am usually a size 10 (and in 10-12 mat clothes) - some people have taken great delight in my expanding waist line. This is DC3 by the way, so it's no surprise at the size I get! Grrr xx

upahill Wed 06-Jul-11 10:18:58

It's not meant as cheeky or rude for goodness sake.
People are really sensitive.
Often people like seeing pregnant women and are fascinated by the incredible sight of someone developing and changing.

Let's face it, it is pretty amazing thing that is happening.

There are two pregnant women in my office now and every couple of weeks we have the 'OMG Look at you !! conversations.

Perhaps we are tougher skinned in my neck of the woods!!

purplepidjin Wed 06-Jul-11 10:20:05

Thanks to mumsnet I knew to compliment my mate on how slim she's stayed. She's now overdue (afaik) and I also no not to ask if she's had it yet. Instead I ask how she's feeling.

Threads like this are very useful, thank you

Renaissance227 Wed 06-Jul-11 10:25:01

It's not really being oversensitive just, as natural as it is/and amazing, you still don't want to be told how big you are and (like I was told) how big your baby must be already!

I don't know who has told him but my DP now keeps saying I look very "neat" and he can't believe how well I'm carrying bump! (I'm not but I'm sure someone has told him to think of my feelings and call my bump "neat"!)

MrsRhettButler Wed 06-Jul-11 10:26:19

It might not be meant as rude but it's still not nice to be told how massive you are especially when it's obvious that they mean you're big even by a pregnant lady's standards

MrsRhettButler Wed 06-Jul-11 10:28:31

Aww your dp sounds sweet Renaissance smile <wishes someone could tell my dp to say that>

Renaissance227 Wed 06-Jul-11 10:32:16

He is being very sweet at the min MrsRhettButler. He keeps asking the women where he works for advice and started asking the midwife a lot of questions about breast feeding when we last went!
He's also started rubbing my back and belly at night before bed to help me sleep and most days he says how well I'm doing!!!
I this this pregnancy is having a good effect on him!! smile

blossominlondon Wed 06-Jul-11 10:32:33

You're big! Must be two in there, no? Did mum have baby and cakes? Due any day now? Are you going to pop today?

These were some comments I got this pregnancy...
Expecting baby nr 3 (due today!) and constantly have been hearing that the last trimester. In weight I gained less than with DS and DD(+/- 3stone), but with every pregnancy my bump seemed to stick out more....

But when I look at my bump in bed or in the mirror, I am in fact happy and proud that it looks so big ;-) When feeling low, I just stroke it and try to daydream how my baby likes how good and warm my tummy is!

Don't cry chinateacup, forget what everyone says, stroke over your beautiful bump, imagine how your little sprout swims around happily and feel good about it. Rest is just comments you should just try to ignore, all that matters is you and baby!

Xiaoxiong Wed 06-Jul-11 10:51:18

Renaissance my DP is being lovely too - he came up behind me while I was brushing my teeth this morning and said "being pregnant really suits you, you look lovely" grin

I'm not sure whether I want people to say I'm big, or not. I feel huge for 19 weeks and have been wearing maternity clothes for 2 weeks (clingy show-off-the-bump stuff) and yet there are still some people at work who have come steaming round to my office in SHOCK - "OMG are you really pregnant, when were you going to tell people??" I hoped it was pretty obvious but perhaps not?? hmm Perhaps I have to start sticking my belly out to make myself look even larger.

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Wed 06-Jul-11 10:54:13

"yes but once i've had the baby i'll go back to normal. You, however, will still be a nob." grin Ok, ok, it's a churchill rip off, and i wouldn't actually say it!

Upahill i hope you are right, that people are tougher in your neck of the woods, and not just biting their tongue and feeling dreadfull.

I don't personally mind the remarks about my size...i'm not exactly svelt at the best of times, but the ill informed comments that big bump always equals a huge, unbirthable baby really get my goat. It's all part of a culture that likes to present birth as both terrifying (oooh, it's gonna be a wopper...good luck) and denigrates the effort involved (has she popped it out yet?) angry

Renaissance227 Wed 06-Jul-11 10:56:35

Tyelperion - It's great isn't it! grin

mumblebum Wed 06-Jul-11 11:04:49

I've lost count of the number of people who have told me I'm so big I'll never make it to my due date. That's tomorrow, I'm still waiting. I know the intentions aren't bad but it makes me feel crap when I'm told I'm huge. I swear I'll never way it to someone pg.

motherinferior Wed 06-Jul-11 11:13:30

Can I just reassure you all that after a second pregnancy in which lorry drivers leant out of their lorries to comment on how huge I was I had a slightly below average baby and was back to my 'normal' size four months later.

A fact I always want to shove up the noses of the hundreds of people who went on about the size of my bump.

Daiso Wed 06-Jul-11 11:15:10

ALL i get off people is

"Hi fatty"

Bloody charming - was a size 10/12 pre pregnancy. I'm not fat, i'm pregnant ( 20 weeks) and am mainly bump although am starting to get pregnant in my arse too.....

Lala29 Wed 06-Jul-11 11:28:00

Sorry if this is not what you want to hear (my first post, so please excuse me). But I have the exact opposite problem and trust me it's no better and I have cried about it on a couple of occasions. I was very slim before pregnancy and bump is quite small now, despite 28 weeks. When literally everyone you see tells you how small you are and they looked like you when they were 4 months pregnant, it gets really worrying. Until I had my last scan, I was constantly worried that something was wrong, but they told me the baby measured exactly average and I should stop worrying. Doesn't stop people from commenting though. Grrr! I guess most people just don't know what to say!

upahill Wed 06-Jul-11 11:30:01

Upahill i hope you are right, that people are tougher in your neck of the woods, and not just biting their tongue and feeling dreadfull.

Looking back I have worded that terribly! Sorry.

It didn't come out the way I was trying to say.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Wed 06-Jul-11 11:34:12

Just this week I have a had a conversation with a checkout lady who thought it would be ok to tell me how huge I am (27weeks), that I'll never make it to term and, wait for it, "There is no way that baby will fit out of your vagina"

Please somebody let me know when it is ok to discuss someone's vagina whilst waiting for your shopping hmm

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