I could post this on AIBU but I think it's more pregnancy related ...
When I first got pregnant and we had those early midwife appointments and scans wed pop round to our parents houses to update them on baby.
Were nearly there now and my Mum has told us to go home after our appointments and to put my feet up yet my MIL still expects us to pop round. My DH has pointed out that its a urine check and heartbeat check which we can phone about but she always asks when the next check up is and then says oh yes, Ill be in that afternoon.
Now I love that shes interested but after a long day at work and then a check up (I always get the last one of the day as my commute is 1hr +) I just want to go home with DH and enjoy dinner together, not do midweek visits.
We didnt go round last time and DH just explained how tired I was to which FIL sent a text the next day saying he hoped I felt less tired today which made me feel bad!
Im getting to the stage where just going to work is tiring me out so Im dreading explaining why we dont go round after our next check up.
Do we just not go?
Say if they want to see us to pop round to our house?
when she said i'll be in that afternoon I probably would have replied oh great i'll ring you on the landline then? Is it first grandchild? I think its lovley that they show that much interest BUT you have to make a stand now else what would be expected once baby is here, believe me when baby comes everyone has an opinion about something, and you need to stand your ground but in a nice smiley polite way x
I would just call them afterwards, or get your DP to. Just tell them you are not going round cos you get tired early now and just want to go home and relax. That way you are still involving them and letting them know what's going on, seeing as they are showing such interest.
YANBU at all, I don't blame you for not wanting to go. You should do all of the things you suggested instead!
Blimey I felt a bit upset that my parents/in-laws just aren't very interested in the various developments of their grandchild (and for my parents it's the first and possibly only GC), but actually I think it's for the best. I'd hate to have to relay every detail to people!
it is lovely they want to be involved, but you've just got to put your foot down (well, DH has got to! they're his parents) and say "we will not be coming round after every scan. we want to be at home, digesting the information and enjoying our peaceful evening together. we will ring you. (or text. my family are fine with a text!)
Hi ScarletOHaHa - just hoping it isnt too bad when baby comes - need to set the stall now I guess.
KatieWatie - it is so tiring relaying the details - but I also have family who have gladly updated me on their hectic lives for the last 20 weeks and not once asked how I am/baby is getting on! I sometimes wonder if they've forgotten!
Guess I'd just like a bit of middle ground normality x